Santa

Dear Santa Last last last…..years you grant someone wish, and we get to be together. I ain’t want you to grant me to s.o else. I have had enough watching that person walks away, fall with s.o new. If you can hear my wish, please let us collide once again.

Feeling bottled up?

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2025-08-14

To the friend that I’ve lost #L

Funny isn’t it ? I thought were supposed to work on our problems. and stay friends forever? people say you’re toxic and such but i still defend and stay by your side . I’ve done bad things in the past but I’ve let it go and learned my mistake and I was hoping you’d do the same. I’d never knew you’d give up on us so easily. I’ve always put friendship above relationship cuz i know i can move on from guys i dated but not the friends that i’ve shared memories with. It’s okay na, I forgave you, live well and be happy na, I’ll be supporting you and cherished the friendship we had. Stay happy and healthy, I won’t be there to see it but i hope you achieved your dream<3

2025-08-14

If only~

I always wonder what if we met each other when I'm mature, will things be different? I was too immature at that time and a hot headed person. I would be lying If I said I didn't love u. I felt the energy that u might be the one that I'm going to spend the rest of my life with. It might sounds ridiculous but I totally felt like it when I first known u. I know u loved me too and trying to win me back too. When we broke up, I hated u and ignore ur message even though u tried to reach me. U added me back even when I unfriend u and that friend request stayed there until u finally moved on. I totally forgot about u when I'm focusing on my study and when I went back and see those messages u sent. My heart dropped but too late that I can't go back. I had things that I have to complete first and u told me that u'll wait for me. I told u countless of time that I won't change my mind no matter what. I'm thankful that u tried ur best on me Bong. I'm glad When I saw u finally moving on. I'm glad that I set u free and u found someone u could spent the rest of ur life with. Though many years had past, u're still the best person I've ever dated and I don't want anything beside ur happiness. Sincerely, I wish u all the best in ur marriage bong. #2017
2025-08-14

walking red flag

i really hate myself for doing things out of my own control sometimes. my red flag always chasing people away because they cannot handle it. my relationship end because of that, my few talking stages end also because of that. really hate myself for being a major problem here!

2025-08-14

The friendship I valued the most..

To the friend I used to valued... Months ago, I had a female fiend who I talked to daily, I kept listen to her rant day to day, support her during her bad time. It is not that I had feeling for her or something. I just valued our friendship. Being friend is meant to valued each other, aint it? Then one day, she told me that she got into a relationship. I congratulated her and keep texting her as we used to. Then she barely reply to my text. It is not that I got jealous or something. But the friend who you trusted, you supported most, valued the most, turned their back after got into relationship as if you meant nothing to them. Was I been used? Was I have done something wrong? Is it mean they don't want you anymore? Or is it mean you are out of their used? I don't know. After that, I decided to silently walk out of her life. Knowing that my effort has no meaning to them.(what's suck most, is she never asked or notice my absence) I still hope you have a great life, live happily. From the person who out of your used.

2025-08-14

I wish I hadn't born in this world

I was born with the problem nothing they gonna stay by my side

2025-08-14

Talking Stage

we're not officially in a relationship yet but it feels like a break up? we haven't met each other outside yet, but why i feel so attached? i try to draw us the line, and tell myself that we're hopeless and better off being friend; we won't work out but why i still pray that we could start over, and fix what we lacked of? i know you lost interested in me but you're the one who make me believed at first that you're the right one. you said you're not like them yet you still did. prolly, it's my fault that fall so hard, and expect so much. i try to ignore you, I stopped reply to your message not because I hate you or want to cut you off, but it's because you don't really care. you show no interest in talking with me at all. when it come to you, i'm still being squishy asf. and yes! the more i talk to you, the more i feel hurt. you seem fine because you feel nothing at all. it's hard right now, but if one day i will get over it just as you said. let's be friends again when that time come. from #K to #J

2025-08-14

Slave of love

I am the owner of #KJ0002. Time sure flies, we no longer text even though he knew I always wait for his texts and notifications. Even after he unblock me, he is not following back my ig and is no longer a friend in FB as well. But whenever I miss him and I post a story, he was always my first viewer to view it. Not until he decided to post another video @ his TikTok which is a very scary place that everything started between us. My tears just fall like an idiot with the little hope "Do I ever cross your mind when you see that video of yours"? It just hits me so hard because every movement everything that happens is still fresh in my mind, his voice still echoing in my ears, his smell still sticking to my nose, his kiss still warming my lips, our adultery stuff which I gave him out of my pure love for him still crawling back to my brain and it's torturing my every breathes. He is living his best life right now, while I am suffering from tears every single second because of him. Fools will eventually die from its stupidity? He once promised me to not let my tears drop because of him, one of my best friends also reminded me about the red flags since day 1 but I refuse to do so and mess with him. Up until this moment, the very first time that he's not viewing my story yet asking him whether Do I cross his mind or not at least once when he posts that place which has taken a huge place in my heart. I even get more clowning myself by commenting on that TikTok's video of him "what a nice view" and he just replied immediately, I think I knew now maybe my ig dm with him finally went rock bottom since he's stick to his phone 24/7. I am now waiting for him on my birthday which we suppose to meet again but somehow I made him mad at me and I don't know what is going to happen on my birthday, whether he shows up or not? I am still waiting, Little does he know my tears are now competing to drop without any hesitation. I am dying from time to time, I am living to his "air promises" I look back at our chat in the good old days that he told me to stick to 3 meals a day, stay hydrated, stay positive, and stay calm. I really want to turn back time to that night the 2nd sleepover with him. I left many unspoken words that I want to say in front of him. Seems like now I have no longer chance to meet him now. I can say now I have officially become a slave of him for him. I no longer can control my emotion as well as my body which I gave him all without anything left. He feels like home to me, now that he is gone? What can I do? I can only pray to god, trying my best to wait for him which is impossible but it is out of my control that's the only thing I could do to calm my mind. What should I do right now? The more I try to erase every moment I have with him, the more it is haunting me. How many tears must I shed, how many times must I cry? How many tears must I use for him to take pity on me? I am fighting my worst battle with myself right now. I told myself to be happy because my birthday is coming up in just a week. I have never broken someone's heart since I was born, why now am getting this treatment from someone I loved wholeheartedly? I felt bad for 3 people that I kept repeating find good points in him and kept on venting to them about the same cycle. Thanks to them that at least they listen to my whole story which I still can't forgive myself for the mess I created. I hope I can smile for my birthday this year, I am getting old but seems like I'm still childish when it's come to him. I am still hoping he remembers that this birthday boy is in a week, even it is not impossible but I am still waiting for the impossible to happen. Sorry for my broken English.

2025-08-14

If we’re really meant to be, we’ll meet again:)

Maybe this lifetime isn’t for us. I just hope you will be happy with your marriage. After all these years, I am the only one who fooled myself into this hopeless love. You did it. You made me feel like a fool. I had caught myself smiling while texting you, waiting for you and now? Now you’re with someone else and even getting married? How am I supposed to feel. That moment when you told me about the date of your marriage, what was I supposed to tell you? Congratulations? I don’t even know how to feel now. It felt so real for me, but I guess we just end up as best friend even after everything we’ve had together. You even told me that I will and always be the one? No one will ever replace me? I have no right to do anything except congrats you, seeing you be happy with someone else. Thank you for everything. Thanks for making me feel so special even if you don’t mean it. Because I will never not think about you.