If only~

I always wonder what if we met each other when I'm mature, will things be different? I was too immature at that time and a hot headed person. I would be lying If I said I didn't love u. I felt the energy that u might be the one that I'm going to spend the rest of my life with. It might sounds ridiculous but I totally felt like it when I first known u. I know u loved me too and trying to win me back too. When we broke up, I hated u and ignore ur message even though u tried to reach me. U added me back even when I unfriend u and that friend request stayed there until u finally moved on. I totally forgot about u when I'm focusing on my study and when I went back and see those messages u sent. My heart dropped but too late that I can't go back. I had things that I have to complete first and u told me that u'll wait for me. I told u countless of time that I won't change my mind no matter what. I'm thankful that u tried ur best on me Bong. I'm glad When I saw u finally moving on. I'm glad that I set u free and u found someone u could spent the rest of ur life with. Though many years had past, u're still the best person I've ever dated and I don't want anything beside ur happiness. Sincerely, I wish u all the best in ur marriage bong. #2017

Feeling bottled up?

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2025-08-14

In between

I could say I moved on, that’s why I’m here with my new relationship for 3 months. Last month was when my ex of 2 years has asked me if there’s a chance for us to be back tgt again. I told him and made things pretty clear with him that there’s no chance of us doing so, because I’m in a healthy relationship with my new bf. As I’m writing him to explain my feelings, I realized I’m not fully healed, it’s still hurting recalling the memory’s of us as I explaining, I still have a soft spot for him, he’s still a part of me. To ask whether I hate my ex after we broken up? I would say I don’t hate him not even one bit, I was just solely disappointed in him. Relationship with him was healthy, understanding, supportive, faithful and all, until earlier last year, when he made me thinks that the bare minimum was too much request in relationship. A part of the problem came from the environment that we’re surrounded with, everything’s started to change so did he, he became very arrogant, he used to be so supportive now every opinion of mine become invalid and he always listen to others before me. That’s when I feel miserable everyday being with him, things going on for months to the point I feel like I should leave and I did. He didn’t beg or anything he let me go and that’s when I also realized he may has lost his feeling for me and that I should work on myself. It’s been almost a year, I met someone new. To compare everything to him, my new bf is more like my dream ideal type, he asked to be his gf (possibly potential partner for the future, because we planned on our future and everything tgt, tho the duration seems pretty short) and I should say him and I get along just fine. It’s just this one thing, the amount of effort he put is way less than my ex when we’re in love. To put things in short, I don’t want to admit it but I must say that I’m almost like a chaser in this relationship even though he’s the one that asked me first. At some point, I also feel tired too, I wasn’t like this in my previous relationship, before everything changes, I was treated almost like a queen, never a day I ever feel like unwanted or lefted alone ever. That’s what I love the most out of previous relationships. As being with the new one, I feel like the Karmas do me good, now that everything my ex did for me, I’m doing it to my new bf without a return. I sometimes miss being treated by my ex, now that he came back and he changed a lot because of all the flaws that I explained to him before I ended the relationship making me miss him even more. Back to the question if I should go back to my previous relationship or should I moved on, I’m in a serious debate. My ex and I shared deeper connection than my new one, but I don’t want to give up on my new relationship just yet just because of my ex return, plus my new relationship is a long distance one, it’s unfair for him to compare things that my ex can possibly do just because he’s near me and was spending much longer time than my new one. I can’t just compare things. As for now I really don’t know what to do (I really need an anonymous consultation if anyone interested to help pls cmt, I’ll reach u out in anonymous acc)

2025-08-14

Did you know, ~N?

It's been 6 months since we last hung out and shared our daily life activities together. You always ask me how am I doing so far every time u texted me to see if I was doing alright. My answer giving to you always show the positive image acting like I'm doing alright. But in reality, I wasn't and I tortured myself to not think about u. Did u know that during this period of time, I forced myself to drink every time I thought about u even though I hate getting drunk? Maybe u didn't because we no longer talked to each other the same way we used to. Our conversation became dry and plain. Did you know that sometimes u popped up in my dream? I wish I could forget that in the next morning but u know me so well that I usually remember what I dreamt during the night and especially when you were in it. Did u know that I wanted to hold ur face one last time before we split and walked on our way? No, u didn't because u told me not to have a hard feeling between us and it hurt me so much. Fortunately, in mid-September, I dreamt about you and it was the dream I never forget. I saw YOU, standing in the middle of the crowd. I walked up to you with tears in my eyes. I literally could feel it - the tears and desperation to see u very very much. And I could finally touch ur face one last time with the word 'I miss you and goodbye'. I wish I could forget you but it seems like I can't. Did you know...?

2025-08-14

Painful scars 12th April

I know that your life is so different now from mine. I know that you may never forget about us, but you have forgotten your feelings about me. I know that you have somebody else beside you And I know that you may be saying your i-love-yous to him in different ways. Something that is quite deeper, bolder, or even kinder. Or something that promises your stay still together. I’m just here to write this one for you as I couldn’t think of any better way to tell you how I truly feel until this day about what has happened to us. And to tell you, in case there’s a chance that you read this—that I’ve forgiven you, myself, our past; to say “thank you,” and bid you farewell for the last time. I wish there’s a better way to tell you how painful that night was for me. That night when you said your feeling fade that my mistake...i been thinking why somebody else has occupied your heart that fast while being with me for 1 year you being with me. You didn’t have any idea that while you were saying those words, my hands couldn’t stop shaking as I’ve never expected what was going to happen. I didn’t know that the few days before that night would be the last time that I’ll get to experience a pure bliss being with you. That I’ll never be able to genuinely smile again for a few years. And that I’ll crash and burn. I didn’t know that such deep pain would exist and I’ve underestimated the capacity of life to hurt me in ways that I’ve failed to imagine. I saw how a moment changes, how time is fleeting so fast right before my eyes. That one moment you were telling me that you wouldn’t hesitate to give the world or your life to me. And then another sudden moment came and you treated me like I was the most disgusting person you have ever known. They say time heals all wounds, but the wound you’ve caused me is way beyond having a bruised heart. My soul got wounded too, and it still cries sometimes for what was inflicted on me

2025-08-14

mon trésor

Maybe one day we’ll walk past each other with nothing between us. Maybe one day we’re gonna have our own families. Maybe one day i’ll look back and reminisce our memories while crying. I’m not ready to do that, I don’t think I’ll ever be

2025-08-14

Want but don’t need?

She just wants people like me, but she doesn’t need me.

2025-08-14

So tired

This feeling....... Sometimes I always try my best to make everyone happy but when I'm down, I couldn't find anyone. I'm not always happy as you see my smile on my face, but I always remind myself to calm down and deal with the problems one by one. But when the problems come together, I don't know what the solutions to those problems are. I start to feel stressed out and blame myself. I also start to feel useless. Sitting alone and crying in a silent place are the best solutions that can release my stress. And, I know that if I share all those difficulties in my mind with others, I will feel more relived. However, I could not find anyone to listen to my story, and feel me and support me. And, Sometimes when I tell those problems to others or s.o, they just feel that I'm being so dramatic, but actually, I just want someone to listen to my problem and that's enough for me.

2025-08-14

08

You live in peace I live in pain.

2025-08-14

Why

Why do I still love you more and more even though we broke up 2years ago? Why can’t I just move on like the way you did? Why do I still cry over and over again for you?បងលួចមើលអូន but Why did sometimes អូនមើលបងវិញ ( we’re in the same class)? The way you looked at me, it drove me crazy. I‘m still waiting for you អូន even though I know it’s impossible that you will come back...Daisuki da yo my love