I am the owner of #KJ0002. Time sure flies, we no longer text even though he knew I always wait for his texts and notifications. Even after he unblock me, he is not following back my ig and is no longer a friend in FB as well. But whenever I miss him and I post a story, he was always my first viewer to view it. Not until he decided to post another video @ his TikTok which is a very scary place that everything started between us. My tears just fall like an idiot with the little hope "Do I ever cross your mind when you see that video of yours"? It just hits me so hard because every movement everything that happens is still fresh in my mind, his voice still echoing in my ears, his smell still sticking to my nose, his kiss still warming my lips, our adultery stuff which I gave him out of my pure love for him still crawling back to my brain and it's torturing my every breathes. He is living his best life right now, while I am suffering from tears every single second because of him. Fools will eventually die from its stupidity? He once promised me to not let my tears drop because of him, one of my best friends also reminded me about the red flags since day 1 but I refuse to do so and mess with him. Up until this moment, the very first time that he's not viewing my story yet asking him whether Do I cross his mind or not at least once when he posts that place which has taken a huge place in my heart. I even get more clowning myself by commenting on that TikTok's video of him "what a nice view" and he just replied immediately, I think I knew now maybe my ig dm with him finally went rock bottom since he's stick to his phone 24/7. I am now waiting for him on my birthday which we suppose to meet again but somehow I made him mad at me and I don't know what is going to happen on my birthday, whether he shows up or not? I am still waiting, Little does he know my tears are now competing to drop without any hesitation. I am dying from time to time, I am living to his "air promises" I look back at our chat in the good old days that he told me to stick to 3 meals a day, stay hydrated, stay positive, and stay calm. I really want to turn back time to that night the 2nd sleepover with him. I left many unspoken words that I want to say in front of him. Seems like now I have no longer chance to meet him now. I can say now I have officially become a slave of him for him. I no longer can control my emotion as well as my body which I gave him all without anything left. He feels like home to me, now that he is gone? What can I do? I can only pray to god, trying my best to wait for him which is impossible but it is out of my control that's the only thing I could do to calm my mind. What should I do right now? The more I try to erase every moment I have with him, the more it is haunting me. How many tears must I shed, how many times must I cry? How many tears must I use for him to take pity on me? I am fighting my worst battle with myself right now. I told myself to be happy because my birthday is coming up in just a week. I have never broken someone's heart since I was born, why now am getting this treatment from someone I loved wholeheartedly? I felt bad for 3 people that I kept repeating find good points in him and kept on venting to them about the same cycle. Thanks to them that at least they listen to my whole story which I still can't forgive myself for the mess I created. I hope I can smile for my birthday this year, I am getting old but seems like I'm still childish when it's come to him. I am still hoping he remembers that this birthday boy is in a week, even it is not impossible but I am still waiting for the impossible to happen. Sorry for my broken English.
We met at 2019 but now look at us , weβre just strangers with some memories . First I really want to be his girl best friend , but once upon a time I think I have feeling for him not just friend . I am distancing myself from someone I love. Until now I just canβt get you out of my mind . Thank you for being there for me when I needed you the most . π«
αααααΆαααΆαααα»αααααααΆααααααα αΌαααααΈαα·αααΎα ααααΎα²ααααΎαααΆαααΆαα αΆααα’αΆαααααααααααααα αα·αααΆααα αα·αααααΊααΎαααΆααααΈαααααΆααααΉααααα·ααααααΆααΏαααΆα αααααααα»αααααααΆααααΆααα·ααααα·ααααα αΆ αα·αααΌαα ααΆαααΎαα α·αααααα½αα’αααααααΈ α αααααΉαααΆ α’ααααααααΆααααΆα’αααα α»αααααααα α α»α ααααΆααααααααΆαααααΆααααααααααα’αααααααΈααααα #November
I think you donβt even know that βBβ is the nickname I put for you, itβs like 3 in 1 βBabe, Bong and your nameβ. Now youβre just βBongβ like everyone else, youβre not my βBβ anymore. You know I actually notice how you started to lose interest. Iβm a person who always stay quiet so when I see that you act like that I started to detach myself but still it hurts, it hurts so bad when you finally decided to ask me for a breakup. I prepared for it for months but when it really happened, I still canβt quite grasp the situation. Honestly, Iβm so jealous of other couples they share with each other everything while you.. youβre so closed off. Whenever I ask about sth you always divert the topic or just ignore the questions. FYI, when I asked i alr know the answer. (βFBI friendsβ I have them too π€·π»ββοΈ) I act like I didnβt notice tho cus I hate arguing. Well, whatever I hope youβre happy. And I hope youβd at least give your next girl the bare minimum. Please treat her well. Donβt let her beg for your time and attention like I had to do. React on her posts, post her, take her out, you know the simple little gestures. From: T π₯°
Hey, itβs been many years since Iβm trying to move on. I know my feeling isnβt mutual and thatβs fine. But thereβs always moment when I always picture us in my head. Loving you is a guilty feeling and yet I still want you to be mine. Itβs hurt when I know you love someone else. Itβs hurt when Iβm trying to move on while at the same time I want to experience us together however I canβt have you because you are someone I would feel guilt to haveβ¦.. but I love you , love you till the point where I donβt want anyone else but you , till the point where seeing you happy also make me happy. I love you na , and I donβt know when I could move one but Iβm pretty much sure that it would take years but itβs okay loving you is beautiful even though it hurts me.
It is probably selfish of me to assume that you were having any feelings on me like I did (kinda still do) for you. With shared interests, I thought that we were vibing just fine. Hell, you even made me feel special. I do not know much about you besides the rare and random interests that we shared, but I truly appreciate the time we spent chatting overnight at when I felt loved during my darkest times. After I learned the news about you going abroad, I felt conflicted. I knew that it was such an opportunity for you, but I also wished that I had spent more time getting to know you better. The thing is that I wanted to express my gratitude and love for you. I just wanted to put it out there. I do not have any intention of wanting to start anything anytime soon, for I do not want to mistake my loneliness and sadness for love. I held my breath for a while. I thought that I genuinely would wait for you. You truly did give me hope, but it seems to be a false hope....I feel gutted. Because after a while, I had my suspicion and learned that the whole time you were with someone else, yet you gave such a sense of love. I feel played for not knowing anything and for being given such false joy. I waited and waited for something that would never come. Maybe it is just a one-sided thing. Maybe I am feeling lonely. Then again, maybe I am just selfish, lonely, and deluded for thinking about any of this because at the end of the day I do not hold anything against you, but I genuinely thank you for all of the times and things that we shared. Lastly, I wish you the best. K
Hey, I donβt care about the distance and sht. I can wait, Iβm willing to wait, be faithful and commit to this relationship. Checking up on u everyday, support u through hard time, leave u space when u need, be the most understanding gf. I donβt even mind being a convo starter all the fcking time, fast replier even tho u left me on delivered for half a day or even ghost me out of nowhere for quite a few days, bβcuz I understand that uβre busy. I donβt even mind that uβre not interested about whatβs happening at my side or howβs my day going, having u reply to my text is all I ask for. But if this keeps going for a few more months and I see no more effort from u, I might just assumed that u grew out of this relationship but is afraid to ask for a breakβ¦ idk what should I feel about this relationshipβ¦
Happy
The late night messages I used to receive from you. The restaurants we went to together. The time we spent chatting with one another. All of these are just memories now. You always stared at me, and when I asked why were you staring at me, it caught you off and you just finished with a smile and said nothing. My heart beat faster than usual whenever you smiled because it somehow made me feel nervous not knowing what you were thinking about me when we sat in front of each other. I always wondered if you felt the same way I felt about you. When you confessed, I was on cloud nine. You were a gentleman, and you constantly showed me what all boyfriends should be doing to their girlfriends. Everything turned into a dream. You already have your lover. All I could think of was how good it could be if our relationship were possible, and how would she felt if she knew how nice you had been doing to me. You made me fall madly in love with you, but at the same time hate you. I hate that you were lying and not telling me the truth. I hate that you were being so good to me. I hate that I think about you all the time even knowing that you already have your significant other. I hate that I still miss you.