A hopeless Romantic

When I am tired, I always think of you. But who am I really referring too? And why would i do that? I want someone to be with me, but i haven’t met that someone yet. S.o who was a great partner together, we broke up 2 years ago because of different views. We work really hard for the goal we want. In 2020, when I struggle the most where i was at the lowest part, I met another someone. S.o who show me care, and gave me hope and made me smile . Until 2021, when our path are separated again. Same reason was about goal and future. We’ve been working hard, aiming for goal, but haven’t taken good care of ourselves in the present time. My perspective on love hold me back to allow carefully who i want to be with. I am closed minded and pushing people away. But deeply inside, I hope I meet a person who would share the thought and work toward the future we want to built together. As we grow up, we grow to see more thing, and more careful in life. I hope to be carefree and believe in love again! You said love was a destiny. I agree. But maybe we should interfere in our destiny a bit too. Shall we wait until we meet again and keep wasting time? How can love happen? How do you know you love a person? How can 2 people live together ? What should we keep in mind when we are in love? For love and future full of uncertainty, I cannot promise forever. Maybe we can play it safe by making time pleasant together, and not stress too much about commitment to love. Take it one step at a time, and if we break up, don’t break yourself!

Feeling bottled up?

Recommended Posts

Realization

It's been a while since our last conversation, at first I've gone through many hardships and confusion, wondering what was the real reason. After some time have passed I've come to the realization stage where I realized many things. I realized what is the thing that makes you upset, the words I could say, and the actions that I could do to make things better. I understand why you always want me to change. I'm so happy to see that you're doing well with your life journey right now. I wish that one day you can open up for me once again and I'll make sure that you meet a better version of me. I don't want you to build me for another person.

To the guy I love most, Sophea.

MY FLAWS. I thought we were supposed to talk about our problems and solve them together. You told me how you don't like me doing shitposting, being shady about you. I stopped. I didn't know it would bother you that much. All those shitposting and shady posts aren't about you, I swear. I know those are not reasons and I was right. It was my attitude. I thought you would talk it out but you didn't, you chose to leave me while I'm still in love with you. I didn't know I have such an attitude to make you lose feelings for me, if so I'm sorry. I was not pressuring you, I never ever or even think about making you love me the way I want. Maybe my actions or how I talk seem like that but I'm not that type of person. I told you I'm an attention seeker. Of course I always try to seek attention from the guy that I love, the guy that I prioritized first, the guy that I would do anything for and it's you but I know what is right and what is wrong. Who knows you got the wrong idea about me. I'm not trying to act like a victim here and I was never one. I'm just trying to tell you about what I wanted to say and how I felt.

Curiosity

Can u share some opinions related to arranged marriage between third cousins? In our culture, it’s considered as okay? I think? But u know how the world has changed, so do you think it’s fine?

At least we met.

meeting you was very unexpected. it was very amazing. we started off very well, days passed. i enjoyed talking to you very much. our vibes, our life, we clicked very well. at that very moment, i felt happiness once again. you did nothing special, yet i find happiness coming w/o realizing. you was the reason i get better. i dont wish that we could talk again, but if you're unhappy, then i hope i could carry those sadness with you or maybe, for you. "how are you?" - you asked i'm not doing that well, i said. what would you do if you knew i didnt do well because i was missing you? writing a book has never came into my thought. but when i remember your name, i wanted to write about our stories, about us. meeting again at the right time doesnt sound like a guaranteed promise isn't it? well, let's meet again next life time. i will always wish for your happiness even w/o me, little girl.

To that person who I met online,

To that person who I met online, I have no idea whether you will see this or not, but in case you get to read this, please know that this message is for you. I'm not brave enough to tell you directly, that's why I will just leave it here. It took me awhile to find out if I really like you or just a flash feeling I happen to have. I do like you and I fail to find a specific reason for it. Don't ask me for the reason because there is no such reason for liking someone. I clearly know that you don't have the same feeling as I do, that's why every time I got the chance to tell you, I simply said that they're all just the jokes. You have no idea that telling what's on my mind is one of my biggest insecurity but this time, I just want to be honest with my feeling for once. Even though we never met IRL, but I really appreciate your presence and I am so grateful to know you even though I don't know much about you. Thank you for being one of the nicest person I've known and helped me through my struggling day. I am lack in so many things, so I don't expect you to like me back. In case you know who I am, please don't be uncomfortable with me after reading this and I hope everything remains the same. I will try to move on silently and promise that I will never do or say such things that will cross our boundary. - From a girl who has social anxiety

Being used

Doesn't it feel so sh*tty to be used by someone we care about whether it be friends or someone you have feelings for? Like they would only think of us when they need us for some reasons. When we are out of use, they would completely ignore our existence. I felt like an idiot for assuming that the person slightly thinks about me sometimes. The truth is I only cross their mind when I can offer them some sort of benefits. Now that I recall the time they said we're close, I cringe so hard and feel so stupid.

What am I to you?

I've been trying so hard these few months to win your heart but I feel so tired now. Someday you make me feel like you wanted me and another day u act like I'm nothing to you. Yeah I've changed a lot for you. From a girl who easily get mad to be a calm one because you never give a fu*ck about my feelings. You never care if I'm okay or not. What u said to me always so mean and I used to cry every night about that but still choose to forgive and text to you first in the next morning. You said you don't want to lose me but why I see no efforts at all to me ?. I don't mind to be just friend to you as long as you care about me but you seem not. I will not be able to move on now but I just wanted to remind you that maybe one day I can finally walk away because the patient is always under limited. I tried my best to keep you since the first day until now but if you still act like this sorry maybe I have to lose you to find me. Dear my little star! From me @your bestie 😊

Is it wrong?

We both broke up because there a third person in the relationship… now we’re seeing each other behind the third person back… i know it bad, but i don’t feel bad… is it wrong?