To the guy I love most, Sophea.

MY FLAWS. I thought we were supposed to talk about our problems and solve them together. You told me how you don't like me doing shitposting, being shady about you. I stopped. I didn't know it would bother you that much. All those shitposting and shady posts aren't about you, I swear. I know those are not reasons and I was right. It was my attitude. I thought you would talk it out but you didn't, you chose to leave me while I'm still in love with you. I didn't know I have such an attitude to make you lose feelings for me, if so I'm sorry. I was not pressuring you, I never ever or even think about making you love me the way I want. Maybe my actions or how I talk seem like that but I'm not that type of person. I told you I'm an attention seeker. Of course I always try to seek attention from the guy that I love, the guy that I prioritized first, the guy that I would do anything for and it's you but I know what is right and what is wrong. Who knows you got the wrong idea about me. I'm not trying to act like a victim here and I was never one. I'm just trying to tell you about what I wanted to say and how I felt.

Feeling bottled up?

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Unable to find the one…. Lost confidence but insecurities building up

I’m a 25yo guy, employed (stable and secured job), born in a not too poor or too rich family, currently pursuing a master’s degree and traumatized by my previous relationship(s) (got cheated on 3 times and got played/used for 2 times). It has really made me feel very very insecure. Lately I have been in and out of talking stages from one to another, either I bailed out because I felt insecure about my current state or they decided to ghost me. I’m really insecure about my appearance (I don’t know how girls sees me), and my job (I don’t know if she will love me for me or for the position). On the other hand, I’m not sure whether I’m good enough for anybody even If I have a stable job but I don’t have that much time free-time including strict family rules.. I wanna build up confidence and remove my insecurities but I don’t know how to… Someone please help…

Mr. Leica

I know you don’t have such a feeling and thought about me like I do to you. Yet, I think you deserve to know that someone out there considers you’re special to her. I haven’t had feeling for anyone for years. Then you appeared and began messing up with my head. I don’t expect anything from you because I’ve been spending too much time alone that I’m not sure whether this is the feeling of “fall in love” or it’s just some entertaining feeling to my boring life. Besides, I’m not even capable of loving anyone, so I don’t want waste my time on this stupid and hopeless idea. Yet, I just want you to know that I really appreciate and cherish that one precious day you gave me. I hope you can find someone you truly love and return it back to you the same way. From now on, I’m going back to my world, and I just hope that you still consider me as a friend. —t.o.

I think it hits me again…

I think the dep hits me again. I noticed by when my heartbeat started to go fast, sometimes I feel suffocated, I couldn’t catch my breath, I couldn’t concentrate, my hands get shaky, my body feel weak, I got lost of interest in making any decisions, my weight started to lost again. I hate to fall into the conditions but I couldn’t help. I tried asking for help but it doesn’t work, it only makes me feel like I’m different, especially when they try to be too careful with me (it looks to fake, I could see it) It is amazing how my mood changes too quickly, I was just laughing and talking a lot yesterday, but today everything become a sorrow story again. I used to think of getting a therapist, asking an expert on my conditions, but the fact that I was under control by my family and that I couldn’t ride or drive any transportation method at all, make me feel even more bad and useless. I also used to think about reaching them via email or phone calls, but I was too scared, it was too hard for me to make myself do it, so I decided I gave up seeking for mental specialist. I chose to be healed by my own. (I really did heal myself but there was a lot of time the demon hits me back and forth, sometimes I feel really happy and the next minutes I feel like k*lling myself) I don’t know what else should I do. Are there anyone who will be the light for me?

Is it wrong?

We both broke up because there a third person in the relationship… now we’re seeing each other behind the third person back… i know it bad, but i don’t feel bad… is it wrong?

365 days of your absence.

I’m the owner of #KJ0010 To my best friend who passed away way too young, I have a thing to tell you that I’ll finished my M.S next year, the dream we once had. I delicate all my achievements to you. Thank you for being in my life for the 6 years you were. Thank you for loving me unconditionally. For pushing me. It's true what they say… the good die young. For what? Nobody will ever know the answer to that. Your last text were “ I’ll be the the star, the ones that brighter than the rest”. That day forever changed my life. I did not know that was going to be the last time I would talk to you. I wish I could've stopped this from happening. I keep going through everything in my head trying to think of ways I could've prevented this from happening, but I know I couldn't have. I wish I had the superpower to turn back time. I may carry guilt for the reason you aren’t here. You were, and still are, so loved by many. Sethika, Even though you are not here anymore, you will always be in my heart. You were such a special person. I wish you could see all the things i saw in you. You’ll be forever young and beautiful; P.S I don’t end this story with a period, but a semicolon instead, in hopes that one day we may reunite and our adventures together can start again. In another life, I would be your sister and I’ll be the older ones;

?

Wondering am I the only one who push people away, ghost everyone and get mad at everything when I’m stressed out or is this a normal thing but some people just could control it more easily than others?

Trying to find u in another human form

Said im fine and said i moved on Im only here passing time in his arms

TO THAT MF WHO LIED TO MY FRI

I hope you mfs face crisis in life soon, after coming into my fri life and lied to her. I can’t wait to see ur miserable ass in the future cuz I believe karma does exist, honey. I hope u mf see this. Also, why u have the audacity to wear what my fri bought for u and join some sort of ceremony with ur new victim like how low can u be😗 U know who u are