Stop pretending
Faking your care toward someone is the cruelest thing you can do.
To that person who I met online, I have no idea whether you will see this or not, but in case you get to read this, please know that this message is for you. I'm not brave enough to tell you directly, that's why I will just leave it here. It took me awhile to find out if I really like you or just a flash feeling I happen to have. I do like you and I fail to find a specific reason for it. Don't ask me for the reason because there is no such reason for liking someone. I clearly know that you don't have the same feeling as I do, that's why every time I got the chance to tell you, I simply said that they're all just the jokes. You have no idea that telling what's on my mind is one of my biggest insecurity but this time, I just want to be honest with my feeling for once. Even though we never met IRL, but I really appreciate your presence and I am so grateful to know you even though I don't know much about you. Thank you for being one of the nicest person I've known and helped me through my struggling day. I am lack in so many things, so I don't expect you to like me back. In case you know who I am, please don't be uncomfortable with me after reading this and I hope everything remains the same. I will try to move on silently and promise that I will never do or say such things that will cross our boundary. - From a girl who has social anxiety
Faking your care toward someone is the cruelest thing you can do.
Everywhere, everyone out there is busy finding their “the one”. It’s funny how instead of finding ‘’the one”, why don’t people actually try to find themselves instead? Well, what can I say cause love is blind right? and I once been blinded by it too. “Two teenagers meet, fell in love and they live happily ever after” is probably would be a tale that you would usually hear or see in movie but these kind of stuffs does not really exist in real life, in my opinion. Our story began when we both were in dark places. Starting off, to me, you were just nothing more than an acquaintance. After some time getting to know you, every time we talked, I started noticing that you were trying to keep the conversation going, that you were trying to get close to me and you would eager to know, to learn more about me and ask about the things I like. I, on the other hand, knew from the beginning and told myself that I wouldn’t let you get in my head because I get attached easily and it’s a way to protect myself. But instead of putting label between us, I keep opening up and letting you in even though I know I was gonna get hurt later on. We grew a lot closer over time and you would help me with literally anything I’ve asked you to, you would ask how my day was, whether I’ve eaten, you would cheer me up when I’m down, you would send me stuffs and said that it remind me of you, you would open up with me and rant to me about whatever things that are on your mind which you were too afraid to speak to the world about, you would told me about your goals and dreams. Not long after that, we were each other’s safe space and talking to you were my happy hours. Little did I knew, I started to like you and I would get this stupid butterflies every time you complimented me. But people change once they meet someone new or they just change as time passed by right? Yes, after some times, I started to get bored of you and I knew you kinda did too. We eventually stopped talking to one another and of course my pride is high and I wouldn’t text you first cause I don’t want to sound desperate. During the time we stopped talking, at first, I overthought everything, did I do sth wrong? did you not want to talk to me cause you need space or you get tired of me? Will we talk again soon? Am I that easy to replace? It drained my energy mentally and I was going insane but after giving it some thoughts, I stopped questioning the situation and just let it be. I later found out the “things” you did and realized that you were just taking me for granted just to pass your time. Naive of me to thought that you were not a red flag cause after all, you became all the things that you told me you wouldn’t be. So, of course, I decided to gave up cause if not, I’ll only end up destroying myself even more. Moving on is a really hard process for me but luckily, I have my amazing best friends by my side and they lift me up from my sorrow during this hard time.To sum up, I wouldn’t say meeting you is a nice accident or a bad one either but it’s more like an ending to a new beginning of finding and learning more about myself and giving the love that I need without having to depend it on anyone and a lesson to protect my heart better next time. I feel like writing this all down allows me to finally close the chapter and buried this petty love story here as I decided I don’t want to be stuck on the past anymore and to move on with my life so guess this is where our memories parted. It might be a long process to be better but im getting better bit by bit, day by day. Cheer to a happy ending of finally finding my own self<3
So, a few months ago, my girlfriend's granddad passed away. And now, her grandma, who's getting up there in age, has been losing her short term memory. It's really sad because she's still torn up about losing her husband of 60 years. What makes everything even worse is that every morning when she wakes up, she forgets that he's gone. She makes him breakfast and brings it to his study, but he's not there. So, she ends up wandering around the whole house, going from room to room looking for him. Eventually, she calls up one of her kids to ask where he is, and they have to tell her what happened all over again. And then she cries for the rest of the day like it just happened.
It’s hard to “just be friends with someone you fell in love”…#S🪴
“The World IS Just Awesome” sentence on his t shirt
There are many men out there in this world Surly I haven’t met all kinds of men yet. I have found my type but I don’t see that type in many men yet. So why am I rushing myself into this? And the only question that keep running in my mind is Why HIM?- yes, I want him and I love him I can see myself that I’m not crazily fall in love with him which I used to but I can’t live without him as well. I hate that’s the person I’m in love right now is him cuz I know we can’t be more than just FRIENDS. From all these months we’ve been messaging, calling, are all caring as friends? Or more than that? YES, we flirted for fun but I can’t believe I’m the one who lost in this game that we both started. It seemed unfair to me, how can he sleep peacefully every single nights without feeling anything while I couldn’t sleep properly because my mind is thinking about him. The happiness feeling which made me feel so loved, special, the smile that I wear on my face while facing my phone’s screen, feeling someone is giving me the best comfort or comfortable hug which I thought it was gone and never comes back suddenly comes into my life. All because of who? - it’s HIM I hate how biggest role play he plays in my life without realizing anything.. like nth until I can’t lost him. I hate how his sweet words and action melt my heart into water. I hate how I am to him like an open book but for me I can’t even read his mind a bit I hate how every songs I’m listening to is always remind me about him. I hate how many articles I have read always related to our situation. I hate when I know we can’t be more than this and how many times I try to stop myself to fall for him but end up losing I hate how today he treated me like I’m a queen then tmr I’m just someone simple to him. Is it because of me? Am I the only one who fall for my own dream? Does he ever feel the way I do too? Is it my fault? Should I make a first move to get the answer or take a step back ? But HE- he’s really the one who I got inspired these days. Never ever I got/ know a man who can give me this positive energy before. They told me to finding a man who keep pushing you and making you improve for better. YES, I found that person, I found him but I can’t have him. I found someone who I’m about to lost in love way not friendship. The smile I have, all good feeling I have is from him but the painful feeling right now, a drop of smile on my face also because of him cuz I can’t feel that feeling anymore [ BABE ] I know we joke around calling each other like this. But I want us to keep calling each other like this as forever. One day someone will come into his life and replace me with this nickname, one day he’ll find his true [ BABE ] and takes care of his heart which I know that isn’t me but sometimes the little hope in my heart still think however I’m still here being happy for him to find somebody new and best for him. I miss him, miss the old vibe we used to be, am I being trapped by my own feelings/ game I have set for myself again? Having crush is ok and fun not until you truly love someone too much and for real. And for me this situation isn’t having a crush this what we called, right person wrong time. Or I can say right person wrong situation. I swear to myself that I won’t end up in this kind of love situation again but look? Why the boys that I fall in this situation always the nice guys. This situation is harder than having a crush on someone and the feeling I have for men in this situation is much much stronger and it just hits different. I still remembered how much time I had to move on from that old person, even after years he’s still the one who I remember and he lives free in my heart. And now look at who coming again. Same way, same feeling but this one is stronger. He actually being the same way as the old person. How he drives me crazy, how much he make me fall in love everyday. Are we gonna end our relationship like I did with that old person? By stop messaging anyone? It’s hurt. There’s only one thing both of them don’t have in common is everyone knows/ sus on me with old person but between me and him no one noticed it yet unless I told people.
I’m wondering when you blocked someone, is it because you hate them or you want to move on easier? Answer please. Thank you.
If ignore me make you happy then do it😊 I just hope that you’re happy even without me. I will stand behind you no matter what.