At least we met.

meeting you was very unexpected. it was very amazing. we started off very well, days passed. i enjoyed talking to you very much. our vibes, our life, we clicked very well. at that very moment, i felt happiness once again. you did nothing special, yet i find happiness coming w/o realizing. you was the reason i get better. i dont wish that we could talk again, but if you're unhappy, then i hope i could carry those sadness with you or maybe, for you. "how are you?" - you asked i'm not doing that well, i said. what would you do if you knew i didnt do well because i was missing you? writing a book has never came into my thought. but when i remember your name, i wanted to write about our stories, about us. meeting again at the right time doesnt sound like a guaranteed promise isn't it? well, let's meet again next life time. i will always wish for your happiness even w/o me, little girl.

Feeling bottled up?

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2025-08-14

I miss me, being with you

Throw back to yr 1, I think I had the most beautiful moment crushing on someone. She's my first love, I'm just not lucky enough to make her mine. Plus I crushed on her knowing she got a boyfriend. We became close, probably because of our personalities match and had alot of things in common. I think she is a type I always ask for. We got the same age, but she is so much more mature. She cared and noticed every little thing about me. She always make me feel special. Sometimes, we hold hands in the mall and during class. She used to called me her soulmate. We are lovebird in our class. I kept rejecting, saying no when our classmates talked about us as a couple.(inside, smiling and wishing it was true) xD I really miss me being with her. I miss reading book, paying attention in class, finishing my homework, learning new things, improving my grammar, caring my own health, going to gym, eating healthy food, being kind to other, fullfiling my commitment, keep things under control, keeping my promise, calming down my anger, being a reasonable person, being okay to say sorry. I miss being a better person, just to catch her attention. I miss trying to be a person that come in package. Being an understanding, a sweet, responsible, respectful and a romantic boyfriend, that she always wanted. I remembered days, the first thing I do when I got school is looking for her white scoopy and pink helmet. Everytime I saw her motor at the parking lot, I was so happy going to class, knowing I'm going to see her in any minute soon. Till today, with a little pain in my heart, such a warming one, I still can say I'm glad not telling her about my feeling toward her. We are now still friend, kinda close as before. I got a girlfriend, and sometimes I run to her when I fight with my girlfriend. She's still the same, being an understanding one, giving advice and comfort with care. I'm glad, staying in her life in a position that I able to hear everything about her, everything she wanna talk and going through. I'm glad being a shoulder she can cry on, playing her hair, stabbing her head gently anytime I want to. I am now graduated 3yr already. If I can keep it this long time, I really wish this can be forever. I think I am now being selfish. The thought of losing her is really scary. PS: I am gay.
2025-08-14

Nobody heard from me for months

I’ve been isolating myself from everyone for awhile now. I avoid meeting ppl, I don’t pick up calls or reply any chat from anyone, I put my phone on airplane mode everyday. To those who knows me, will know how normal it is for me to disappear every now and then. But this time I took a long break, I don’t know if ppl around me will be patient enough to deal with this break. I have this one habit of disappearing when things get tough and refuse to ask for help from anyone or showing my vulnerability to ppl. Things get tough lately to the point that everything become overwhelming to me, I can’t complete any task, I can’t even take care of myself. I used to be an achiever, a person who dream big and thrive for everything in life, want to do this and that, but things often take the wrong turn, then I failed from time to time, which leads me to choose on a plan B (which I’m not very fond of). Time goes by, I feel like I’m shifting further away from my dream, I’m forcing myself to do the thing that I don’t want to do, I feel like everything I do is just for the sake of existing, I don’t feel like I have a life anymore. Sometimes I just wish I have the power to erase myself from ppl memories, I just want them to forget about me so that I can end my life peacefully. I don’t want to carry remembrance, remorse, or sorrow to my after life. But that’s physically impossible. Sometimes I wonder what if I move away as far as possible, disconnecting from ppl until one day they forget who I was and start working on myself again until I’m in a good state and come back like nothing happened, will they still accept me? Will that make everything better? I feel bad yet grateful for those who often trying to help or checking up on me once in a while when they notice I’m not okay, I just want to say sorry for ignoring u but thanks for ur patience. It might look like I’m disregard ur empathy, but I just wanted u to know that I appreciate that a lot, even though I don’t say it and I value ur time, effort and everything. Just for the quick update for those who asking me ‘How’s thing? How’s life?’, not so good, but I’m thriving and doing my best to get by. Just for now, I need a break, a long big break from everything. I can’t continue at a stage like this. I’ve been building bad performance at school, at work and every task that I attempted to do. Therefore, I quit school, quit work, avoid any social social interaction at all cost. There’s just me and me atm. No I don’t have plan or know what to do next anymore. I’m just working on my inner me. Hoping I’ll be okay again very soon. So pls be patient with me, don’t give up on me just yet, I’ll be back…
2025-08-14

Does she feel the same way like I did?

I might say that this was a love at first sight for me since I first saw her I fell in love with her eyes and everything about her. Staying and chatting with her feel so right. Is it just me feeling this way about her? I would skip everything just to wait for her although we have only a little time to spend with each other. I am not so sure about myself if I could be a good or the right one for her, but I would still love to stay by her side and do everything just to make her happy. I was actually telling her how I feel by putting it into jokes. was it a good idea to do it? To be honest, this time I wanna ask her to be my GF, but I couldn't do it. I have no courage to do so. Why? because I'm scared of getting rejected that she might not feel the same way like I did.
2025-08-14

#Sam_ort?

I caught myself being loyal to a man who ain’t even my boyfriend.🙂

2025-08-14

I’m sorry

Hmmm That’s my last text Sorry i knew that I’ve hurt u million times Sorry we can’t be back tgt Sorry cause my guilt are too big I can’t let u forgive me easily. Sorry that I made your day become the worst after your whole tiring both physically and mentally Sorry that I turned u down again and again Sorry that I can’t hold u long enough Sorry that I disappointed u Sorry I’m too selfish that I always want to be ur friend again Sorry I’m too selfish that I don’t want to be with u but I also don’t want u to be with someone else !!!! Billion sorry that I wanted to tell u but I can’t. I still love u however I have done enough to deal with my imaginable problem and I can’t share it with u. I can’t hold u any longer. Sorry my mental issue gonna hit me up again if I stay in relationship. Sorry that I made u become a drunk, stress, toxic person for the last 3 months. I’m sorry even we back tgt we still not the same since I’ve changed. I’m not the girl that u love anymore. Still Loving u was like a dream, a dream that i would never want to wake up Anyway hope u and her get along tgt. I hope that she will give u all the love that u deserve to receive. Hope that she treat u right. Hope that she’s the one that u’ve been searching for. ❤️💛
2025-08-14

Friendship

I don’t want to think negative in our friendships. But since this happened, i do feel i was ignored from all of you. I’m really disappointed honestly but I can’t tell. I don’t expect anything from you but sometimes I hurt myself. If you see this, don’t ask me if it’s mine cuz that’s mine.

2025-08-14

My​ One​ side​ love

Hello,​ let​ call​ me​ Jasmine​ (ម្លិះ)​. In​ the​ relationship,​ I've​ been​ through​ alot,​ now​ I'm​ becoming too​ straight​ to​ my​ crush.​ Now,​ I​'ve​ done​ new​ thing​ which​ I​ have​n'​t​ experience​d​ before.​ As​ a​ woman,​ I​ 've​ confess​ed​ to​ the​ person​ that​ I​ love.​ He​ hasn't​ rejected​ me,​ but​ his​ action​ did.​ After​ confession,​ I​ don't​ feel​ anything​ awkward because​ I'​ve​ already​ known​ the​ answer.​ I​ always​ ask​ myself​ that,​ why​ I​ always​ beg​ for​ his​ answer,​ even​ his​ action​ did.​ After​ that,​ I​ started​ to​ feel​ dissapointed just​ because​ I​ can't​ afford​ his​ love.​ Then,​ I​ found​ he​ was​ in​ the​ darknets,​ he​ still​ feel​s​ in​ love​ too​ much​ with​ his​ memories.​ Then,​ I​ thought,​ if​ I​ have​ true​ love​ to​ him,​ I​ should​ release him.​ Because​ I​ love​ him,​ I​ can't​ force him,​ I​ can't​ see​ even​ he​ was​ in​ the​ pressure.​ Love​ doesn't​ mean​ to​ possess​ them.​ I​ chose​ to​ be​ good​ friend​ instead​ just​ to​ see​ him​ inspire​ all​ days​ long,​ because​ I​ know​ he​ is​ an​ over​thinking​ man.​ Man,​ you​ are​ the​ first​ person​ who​ improve​ me​ more​ to​ confess,​ to​ face​ all​ thing​s​ which​ I​ want​ed​ to​ escape.​ Now​ I​ did​ it,​ at​ least​ I've​ confess​ed​ my​ love​ to​ you.​ I​ don't​ really​ care,​ what​ ever​ would​ us​ be,​ I​ still​ loving​ you,​ let​ be​ us​ before.​ I'm​ still​ inspire​ you​ from​ here. #Jasminenotjasmineម្លិះ🤍
2025-08-14

Upset

I’m a type of person that value friendship more than relationship , I rather not date anyone just so I have more time to hang out with my close friend. We share stuff no one ever know about us , enjoy each other’s company without saying a word to each other , inside jokes , hangout non stop…But then things change , third party comes in , she is still my friend but someone else has become her closest friend. They share conversations day and night , calling non stop , playing with each other all the time . I feel like I’m left out but who am i to be jealous of that , you guys seem to be enjoying each other company so much , why would i ruin that because of my feeling , I’m just upset that I can’t provide you that feeling , but it is what it is . I don’t know if you know that I’m upset with that but since I’m not good at opening up to you anymore, I hope the best for you guys even if we become stranger one day…