The hidden love, the endless regrets.

Life is too short to keep love locked in. Don’t trying to reject the truth and your true feelings to somebody. You lied when you told them that you did not love them. But you did. And now that is something you’ve to live with for the rest of your life. That is something you’ve to leave in the back of your throat. Imagine. Loving someone but not showing them how much you love them. This is the burden that arrives the moment you're gone. The weight you have to carry on your shoulders. The burning you feels over your skin when someone mentions their name. forever. You loved them but did not show it. And maybe you wanted more but was too distracted to do anything about it. You lost them. Some people can’t see the the good things in front of them because they think that they have time for it later but you know what, sometimes later become NEVER. How many “what if” in your life? If you have too much ” what if’s “ in your mind then what if your feelings are returned? You have to try for things even when you don't know the outcome. After you tell them the truth they can smile, say you they feel the same or simply go away, disappear and don’t talk to you anymore. All of these are still better than talking with a person and not telling them your real feelings. We never know what will happen tomorrow or in next few hours. Bear in mind that the pain of rejection and the awkwardness of feeling vulnerable is nothing compared to the regret of not saying something when you no longer have the chance. “Better is open rebuke than hidden love”

Feeling bottled up?

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Impossible crush

Are we really can’t moving forward ? I like you at first without expected anything from you I just wanna smile at you wave at you and have a small chit chat and it’s enough for me. But the moment that I know that actually you had been talked to someone. You are in a good stage with her knowing this made me realize that are we really impossible or should I move forward and give it a little try to see is there any hope for me or should I just back off since It’s really impossible for me to be near you. She come first she talk to you first she got your heart and I just having an illusion that you might actually interest in me a little bit but I don’t think so anymore. To conclude , I will try to move forward just a little bit to see if there any hope in us is your heart really fill with her and I will back off immediately if I see there is no chance for me🙂

វិបត្តិ

ទម្រាំមានមនុស្សម្នាក់ៗដែលចូលមកជីវិតយើង ធ្វើឲ្យយើងមានការចាប់អារម្មណ៍ម្តងម្តង មិនងាយទេ ពិសេសគឺកើតជាក្តីស្រលាញ់រឹតតែមិនមែនជារឿងងាយ ព្រោះមនុស្សធ្លាប់មានវិបត្តិស្នេហា មិនសូវហ៊ានបើកចិត្តទទួលអ្នកថ្មី ៕ សង្ឃឹមថា អ្នកបន្ទាប់ជាអ្នកចុងក្រោយទៅចុះ គ្មានពេលវេលាសម្រាប់ស្វែងយល់អ្នកថ្មីទៀតទេ #November

Where I stand

Day by day, I started to know where I stand in everyone’s life. I’m that friend who is there when they need something. I’m that daughter who is responsible for every big and little things inside and outside the household. I’m that granddaughter who is just a female. I’m that sister who doesn’t deserve the respect. I’m that niece who got compared with the cousins’ parents and got hated by my own cousins. I’m that girlfriend who loves too much and also being a little too much that sometimes it suffocates him. Every eyes and words that look and say to me, make me feel small worthless. Whenever i try to explain what happen and both me, I got shouted back, not listening to me, first they comfort and still act the same. It’s hard coming home everyday and get the cold look from everyone and no one in the house actually talking to you. I have to repeat myself over 3 times to get the answer or someone attention. The only time I get someone to care enough for my well-being or existence is when I commit suicide.

Unable to find the one…. Lost confidence but insecurities building up

I’m a 25yo guy, employed (stable and secured job), born in a not too poor or too rich family, currently pursuing a master’s degree and traumatized by my previous relationship(s) (got cheated on 3 times and got played/used for 2 times). It has really made me feel very very insecure. Lately I have been in and out of talking stages from one to another, either I bailed out because I felt insecure about my current state or they decided to ghost me. I’m really insecure about my appearance (I don’t know how girls sees me), and my job (I don’t know if she will love me for me or for the position). On the other hand, I’m not sure whether I’m good enough for anybody even If I have a stable job but I don’t have that much time free-time including strict family rules.. I wanna build up confidence and remove my insecurities but I don’t know how to… Someone please help…

I was chasing for someone love than I was lost in game.

One upon the time, there was me and a guy. A guy who I could lose myself for him even my life. And also had another guy who always there when I need help. Let back to reality, when you heard a word “ love “ what was the most meaningful come cross to your mind? To me that was the a beautiful cloudy day which is became to bad storm with sec. The beautiful didn’t last, you are the one who was been in love one side while he wasn’t. I don’t know what zone we have been through but sometimes we looks like a couple and the other we became a sibling and not too long we became a stranger. It hard to blame on me while he was made me confusing all the time. The way he was taking care the way he treated me those actions ghosting me every night. I tried to talk to him about our relationship, he just pushed me away stopped not to talk. Before I have the feeling for him I have asked him many time about his personal life I mean doesn’t he dating someone yet, the answer I got he is single who not having much time to thing about loving stuff. I trust those with and I could not find anything about his love life on social media also. We talked we laughed we chitchat, hanged out, eating out but we never called that was dating. Even we went on the trip together just 2 of us. I was thinking about does man always doing those stuff with a girl he not even like a bit!?! Does he like me?!? If not why he took me here while these are couple usually did. I was talking to myself everyday thinking all about his attitude. And now I realized I have been used, I still have no idea that he was dating someone or not but I just no that he just using me to comfort his loneliness life. Honestly I knew that he was being nice to everyone he known, but there are some point made me think he like me by the ways treated me differently from other.

Love and Trauma

"Why did we break up?" It has been exactly 49 days since the day you told me that you feel off and you cannot continue this. I've been questioning myself and there were a lot of question marks in my head. Back then to day one, you told me I was your everything and your life would be hell without me. I told you that my previous relationship gave me a lot of traumas and I was scared to start a new relationship because once I love you, I commit and put 100% feeling and effort into it. You promise and you were being vulnerable to me. I decided to trust you and love you wholeheartedly. Our relationship was so pure, lovely, cute, happy until the very last day. The day that another part of me collapse. The day that every promise is broken. The day that you gave up on me. How could we suddenly break up? You gave me the love that make me feel everything then suddenly it dropped to 0. It is sting no matter how much many times I am trying to apply the medicine. It's difficult to picture it without that person because we were having a dream together and I already pictured you everywhere with me. I can't help but think about you in the middle of the night. I can't help but fantasize about a time when everything was fine. Again, I am living in a trauma that haunt me every single day. A trauma that told me that I would never be enough for someone even I keep hearing you deserve better but deep inside me told me that "IF I AM ENOUGH, HE WOULD NOT GIVE UP ON ME." Thank you for giving me love that I always want to feel but never want to leave. It gave me pain, trauma, and fear but I am glad that we come across each other in this lifetime. We broke up but "Once upon the time, my heart was yours." I love you, a_y

Same shit different day.

17.July.2022 Asking myself the same thing every single day "should I move on?" But everytime I see your notification pop up on my screen it always lit up the glimpse of hope inside me that one day we will be together.

unfair?

Not a broken heart story, but I grew up in the most Asian household. I am one of the grandsons of my mother's side of the family. I am in my 20s, I go to one of the famous Uni in the country, but that's not where I belong I was forced to study there. OKAY here's where I started to feel UNFAIR. In my family, I am the chef, The Technician, The plumber, The electrician, The Accountant, I do almost everything. And it was underappreciated. Because not only I didn't get any appreciation, I even got scold and blame for not doing what they want. The most F up thing is I have to accompany my friend until late at night and I also have to wake up at 6 every morning even on weekend. What's worst is that I have to cancel all the plans on my birthday just to stay at home to do nothing because they said so. I was so depressed I tried to kill myself several time, and now I don't even feel pain because I lived with it. Bonus: I got nothing on my birthday, even a cake XD