unfair?

Not a broken heart story, but I grew up in the most Asian household. I am one of the grandsons of my mother's side of the family. I am in my 20s, I go to one of the famous Uni in the country, but that's not where I belong I was forced to study there. OKAY here's where I started to feel UNFAIR. In my family, I am the chef, The Technician, The plumber, The electrician, The Accountant, I do almost everything. And it was underappreciated. Because not only I didn't get any appreciation, I even got scold and blame for not doing what they want. The most F up thing is I have to accompany my friend until late at night and I also have to wake up at 6 every morning even on weekend. What's worst is that I have to cancel all the plans on my birthday just to stay at home to do nothing because they said so. I was so depressed I tried to kill myself several time, and now I don't even feel pain because I lived with it. Bonus: I got nothing on my birthday, even a cake XD

Feeling bottled up?

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2025-08-14

Metaphysical idea of Freedom

I have been living on a fence between being normal, socially constructed, like most of everyone else, and being true to my cognitive self. To set up the premise, I am currently working as a software developer. I've been coding just so I know how to make games but that is still easier said than done. Being torn between work for my family and walking for my own can sometimes be discouraging. Is it lunacy to chase a near impossible spectrum of goals given where we are living? and leave behind our own flesh and blood even though just for a brief period of time compared to the whole life span in which we humans can live? The idea of knowing your own value is so vaguely destructive due to never being taught before how to measure that aspect of our own internal value, which spawn ignorance and esteem issues. "Pick the one you love", they said. The idealistic entity in which all of my hopes and expectations combined has nothing more but shattered due to the chaotic nature of nature itself. I fear the unknown, the dread of not knowing what to come next. The dread of nothing matters. I can only work towards it but how it ends will frighten me nonetheless.
2025-08-14

Finally they leave

she call me best friend but never want to see me good than her. Call me best friend but always envy me. Call me best friend but always say the words that make me think down on myself Finally I can cut her off of my life

2025-08-14

My gorgeous

ehh pretty! u're such a good girl, u've met. once upon a time, u gave the feeling that u're really caring, but i was wrong. ur sweet voice, ur soft tone, ur beautiful eye sight are melting my heart everytime. btw, oh my sweetest, u're with lots of person, u kinda did the same way as u treat me. I don't know why u r into that person, before i figured out i think that u r such a lovely girl, soft hearted, but u failed me. u used everyone to help u most of time, and for me, i'm happy to be in used ^^ but not everytime. when i yeah share this scenario, just a scenario, to my fri, they said that the boii is being shxting used, hahahaha. and i'm yeah, ok XD tbh just a few words to u, pretty, please dun be like that, one day u'll lose them <3
2025-08-14

reply to #KJ0376

after seeing this post, i can sense immediately it's maybe from you! it doesn't mean that, after i got gf i ignored u or take this friendship for granted! you know, you should look from different perspectives, u should communicate or ask me directly because there're thing that u don't really know. i still care about you and checking up on u, but not everyone has energy to communicate all the time. we can't be that stable everyday, too! i still valued u and the friendship but please understand my side as well! i don't even reply my gf that fast too! even my few years of friendship, i didn't text withthem that much too! im so tired with my life lately, please understand that I need time for some break as well!
2025-08-14

Trade-off

This is a story of a unpopular boy who barely made any friend amount his classmates. One girl noticed him for being himself. Destiny brought them together then the boy have to leave the girl for 6months.However, the girl was still waiting for his return and carrying on their relationship. Good things won't last long, the time had passed by the boy's career had started to get busier and busier that's why he barely made time for his love's one. Because he wanted to achieve his goal by getting promotion so he could have more time for her. Then the boy had finally achieved his goal yet his relationship had already ridded apart. At the end he was able to achieve his dream but not his love. He had more time but had no one to spend with.......... someone who always supported and motivated him to catch his dream was gone. So that is an opportunity cost between trading off your heart and your dream : )

2025-08-14

Psychopath or Loyal, I don't know..

This is my true story which I haven't told anyone beside one person... Let start from 2011, when I was 13 years old. I met a girl in my Chinese class, she was 2 years younger than me, she was a energetic, outgoing and have cheerful spirit. Our first met start by arguing with each other about her friend's table space (we were just kids XD). Then I start falling for her. However, I was overage mature, I started thinking that we both are too young, and we wont go far even if we start. Then I start suppressing my own feeling and start to feel dead inside and I became cold and speak less and less. 3 years later, we graduated from the Chinese school (Grade 9th). During the year, I also feel that she is also into me but I still think that we both were too young (at that time, I even imagined we both falling for each other and start a family, silly me XD) and slowly, I was pushing her away while I were hurting my own feeling. I planned to confess 2 years later if we both make it to the final graduated, but she dropped out and I were still hopelessly falling for her. I didn't let thing stop there, I started stalking on the social media but never have the courage to talk to her and slowly we became stranger. During the years, she started to falling into relationships and broke up over and over again, I saw her got her heart broken and it broke mine as well. How can you bear to see the person you fell in love with getting hurt again and again. Through that experience, she started to change, she started using bad words, drinking, going to club.etc. and she became a completely different person I once knew. I don't blame her for that, anyone would fall to that after got in to multiple toxic relationships. During that time, I used to told this story to my female friend and she promised me to keep it as secret and she did. That female friend also have a feeling for me but got rejected. How can you love other person when you got one deep down in the bottom of your heart. I know it hurts you alot, but please forgive me. I apologized from the bottom of my heart. I wish you met someone who would love you as much as a human heart can do. I dont want to intrude you with my story. Sorry again. Back to the story, at the time I'm writing all this, she is in her latest relationship and I wish her all the best, I hope this relationship will lead to marriage. I wish you would live a happy life. You don't deserve pain. I apologized for not being there when you suffered from all the pain you encountered. You have changed from the person I once knew to a completely different person. but my love for you won't change. Because of all that I can't fall in love easily, I start to fear the terms love. I shall put an end to this pathetic story, may be I should free myself from you and start to fall in love again (it wont the same as last time) but I will give my all in my next relationship, I wont let the person I love suffer the way we did. From the person who crushed you for 11 years... Have a good life.
2025-08-14

I think it hits me again…

I think the dep hits me again. I noticed by when my heartbeat started to go fast, sometimes I feel suffocated, I couldn’t catch my breath, I couldn’t concentrate, my hands get shaky, my body feel weak, I got lost of interest in making any decisions, my weight started to lost again. I hate to fall into the conditions but I couldn’t help. I tried asking for help but it doesn’t work, it only makes me feel like I’m different, especially when they try to be too careful with me (it looks to fake, I could see it) It is amazing how my mood changes too quickly, I was just laughing and talking a lot yesterday, but today everything become a sorrow story again. I used to think of getting a therapist, asking an expert on my conditions, but the fact that I was under control by my family and that I couldn’t ride or drive any transportation method at all, make me feel even more bad and useless. I also used to think about reaching them via email or phone calls, but I was too scared, it was too hard for me to make myself do it, so I decided I gave up seeking for mental specialist. I chose to be healed by my own. (I really did heal myself but there was a lot of time the demon hits me back and forth, sometimes I feel really happy and the next minutes I feel like k*lling myself) I don’t know what else should I do. Are there anyone who will be the light for me?

2025-08-14

He and She: For no reason

It's been almost a year since we last fought. A few months ago, you said we should be friends. I complied. Then next, you said we should not talk anymore since you are selfish and you have been hurting me along so you don't want to continue by any means. I also complied. In both times, I said nothing for I did respect your decision. But hear me this, my dear, he knows you twos never talk properly and you never give him proper answers the way he wants and he never forces you to do it. But perhaps, you twos could have a talk once? Maybe he could tell you all the stories from his side? I know this is a just stupid thing to ask for but at least he asked (I know asking someone anonymously from a confession text is of course more stupid). The crush of one of his friends has just got a girlfriend today. He asked her how she feels about that but she said okay. He wonders when it will be his turn, to know that you got into a relationship with somebody else. He saw that you have fallen in love again. So there is a piece of advice for you. Pursue that love if you have thought thoroughly that it will bring the happiness you have always wished for. Don't feel pressured if your ex still thinks of you because that one is an idiot and a dumb one to still think of his ex despite everything his ex has said to him. Let him be and pursue your new love. Perhaps, when he knows you are in a new relationship, he will realize how dumb he has been and may consider stopping thinking of you. He may still think of you, but I don't think he will be too selfish to be mad at you for getting into a new relationship. Actually, I am not sure what I am writing now, I just hope you don't know who I am. I just wish all the best to you and your career. Thanks for reading the story of He and She: for no reason. Ohh, by the way, Merry Christmas to you.