I have been living on a fence between being normal, socially constructed, like most of everyone else, and being true to my cognitive self. To set up the premise, I am currently working as a software developer. I've been coding just so I know how to make games but that is still easier said than done. Being torn between work for my family and walking for my own can sometimes be discouraging. Is it lunacy to chase a near impossible spectrum of goals given where we are living? and leave behind our own flesh and blood even though just for a brief period of time compared to the whole life span in which we humans can live? The idea of knowing your own value is so vaguely destructive due to never being taught before how to measure that aspect of our own internal value, which spawn ignorance and esteem issues. "Pick the one you love", they said. The idealistic entity in which all of my hopes and expectations combined has nothing more but shattered due to the chaotic nature of nature itself. I fear the unknown, the dread of not knowing what to come next. The dread of nothing matters. I can only work towards it but how it ends will frighten me nonetheless.
Since I broke up with my ex bf in March 2021, I never had any bf until now. Not because I didn’t fall in love with anyone else. It’s because I used to asked s1 abt feeling during I broke up. And the answer is “ death both side”xD. And yeah at the time he’s the only person that I chatted with, told him how’s my feelings, sometime cried while sending my voice to him. Then we haven’t chatted for awhile. Currently, And he just text me and get on with each again.
Dating suppose to be people being in love with each other but for me it’s different, i’ve been in multiple relationships and its always just them giving and showing me love and affection while i’ve never actually fallen in love with them. Doesn’t mean that i don’t love them, i do but i don’t feel the spark or the exciting feeling when i’m with them. And i never get jealous maybe it’s because i’m not in love with them that’s why i never feel jealous over anything.
Since we finished our examination I just wanna tell you that I think I like you at the first sign.nh ot yul klun eng dea mix ban 2ngai ng mean ney mes pel exam u jes jeang nh tea u nv baeb kroy mor yy muy nh sur nh tha Tver hx nv ey jg hx subject muy dea Tver oy nh jam ot plex ker math ng pel morning last day nh som u merl and then nh merl pi u ban klas klas dea tea nh jong rkun u klang nas dea tver oy ka exam 2ngai bos nh mean ney tang dea puk yrg ot dea tlop skol knea pi mun mor te terb tea pel exam ng te dea puk yrg ban skol knea lerk dombong mg tea ber ke krob knea merl mor doch puk yrg tlop skol knea jg ahh cuz puk yrg sneat muy knea doch pm tlop rean or tlop skol knea jg. Tysm my best roommate and I think I can’t confess how I feel for you right now since I found your fb account and I saw you was in relationship since 2020 so I decided to move on.nh som oy u sl knea ban yu hx good luck with last long relationship nahh som trem see u sby muy relationship bos u kor roommate mnak nis ot som ey jren dea nah.thanks 😊 #chaktomuk09210
Where to begin? Because I don’t know exactly what I’m feeling right now. There’s a person whom I used to have a crush on him while I was in grade 10. FYI, I’m a senior student at a university now. We are friends from high school to university. Literally, everywhere I turn to for the last 6 to 7 years, he’s always there. At some point, while I was having a crush on him, I found out he liked someone already. So, as I should, I moved on. I found myself a boyfriend and just live my life. We’re still friends and eventually, we grew closer as years passed. As nice as he always is, he helps me, listens to me venting my anger, or just listens to me complaining about my life. The problem is that I didn’t realize that I’ve been depending on him too much for the last few years. Only until recently, when he couldn’t be there to help me anymore that I realized I did always stand alone. More or less, he’s always there to help. Lately, he hasn't been around much. You know, as we grow old, we get more responsibility and life is just busier. For some reason, I feel like I’m breaking up with someone I’ve never been with in the first place. FYI, he’s just nice. He’s like that to everyone and I’ve never thought that I’m special to him either. Anyway, what is this feeling called?
After turning 18 years old a day ago, one of my sister’s friends became very touchy towards me. I still remember on my birthday party, after I drank I went to sleep and he came near me and started to hug-sleep but not to hard since my sister was there too. I felt uncomfortable with him after that but decided to ignore it since I have known him for awhile. Yet, on the next day of my birthday party, I went to the bathroom and I saw his phone hanging on his pant. I was very shocked back then but still I am trying to ignore the facts that whether his intention is good or not. Should I ignore it or believe my own instinct ?
Heyy na**can you back?Nh somtus dea nh kit khos tv som bek u tang dea dg tha u somkhan somrab nh klang tus3 yrg bek knea jit 1y kor doy nh nv tea nerk nv tea kit pi u lhot nh somtus dea ot arch plex u ban hx kor somtus dea ka somrach jit dol chkout bos nh tver oy puk yrg bek knea jg .nh pit jea jong oy u back vinh nass tea nh dg tha vea ot arch tv rouch te hx nh jong brab u tha nh ot arch tor tul yor nek p'seng krav pi u te u dg ot nh slanh u klang nas nh ot arch plex kdey sl bos yrg tang pi ban te tus3 kdey slanh bos yrg trem 2 month kor pit man tea nh mean arom tha nh sby jit pel nh nv kbea u :((
If ignore me make you happy then do it😊 I just hope that you’re happy even without me. I will stand behind you no matter what.
Every year on this time, my birthday, I feel empty. I feel tired, pressure, and stress. Is it because I grow older, I got more responsibility. People may enjoy their birthday, but not me. I do not know why this happen. I noticed that in the last few year, I’ve been feeling the same. No excitement, nothing. NOTHING. I do not understand myself. I could not express in words. It just stuck in my mind, my body, my soul. Is it happen to everyone? Or just me? Writing this made me want to cry much, but there no tear left in me. If you have seen this and feel the same way, I hope you find your happiness and stay strong. #Fromaguywhobottledupeverything.