A long lost friend

HEYY, It’s been a long long time since we talked. I’ve tried to reach out to you about a few years ago but I’ve never been heard from you ever since. We have lost touch completely. I always miss you. I know that you’ve dealt with mental issues but I have no ideas how are you doing now. I have been dreaming about you a lot in these last few years and last night you popped up in my dream again and it felt so real that we were reunited. You’re still matters to me even though I have never been heard from you since I texted you few years ago. I just wanna know how have you been, how is your life. You’re no longer active on your social media and I have no idea if this post is gonna reach you but if so, I hope you know that I miss you. I know you must be doing well for yourself; but whatever it is you are doing, I hope you’re happy. Either of us are chooses our paths in life, and I guess your path just no longer intertwined with mine. But I hope you’re happy. Because I really do wish you the best. And I genuinely wish you well. It’s completely fine if you don’t want to reach out to me again. If it’s possible, please let me know that you’re alright and that’s what I want to hear from you. From someone who remembers and will always remember you.

Feeling bottled up?

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2025-08-14

Being used

Doesn't it feel so sh*tty to be used by someone we care about whether it be friends or someone you have feelings for? Like they would only think of us when they need us for some reasons. When we are out of use, they would completely ignore our existence. I felt like an idiot for assuming that the person slightly thinks about me sometimes. The truth is I only cross their mind when I can offer them some sort of benefits. Now that I recall the time they said we're close, I cringe so hard and feel so stupid.

2025-08-14

My impossible crush

It sounds stupid of me but I still want to share it. First of all, i dint know that he had a gf, and I dint mean to like him as well. But he always tried to be close to me. I didn’t know when I started to like him. From day to day, I liked him more and more. One day I got to know that he already had a gf. Yeahh!!! I was shocked when I first heard. Yet, I couldn’t stop this feeling even I know it’s a Kama to love s.one else’s bf. You know, he acted like my bf. Always called me even he had nothing to say, made a video call to show me what he was doing, teased me, helped me with a little thing and etc…He even showed me of his younger pictures and his family members. At that time, I felt like I was in a relationship. I knew that it was impossible to go further but you know I just went with the flow even I knew it would hurt me but I still wanted it. I admit that I was selfish cuz sometimes I also wanted him and his gf break up and I always thought he would choose me over his gf. Unfortunately, he disappeared without noticed. Since then, we had no longer contacted to each other for almost two years now. Since we hadn’t followed each other on social media, so now I don’t know anything about him. If this message is happened on his new feed, I hope he would notice it. And I want to confess my feeling for him right now that I still have feeling for you but I don’t expect anything from you. I just want to show my feeling. That’s all from me. And lastly, I just wonder did u have any feeling for me a little bit?
2025-08-14

What was all that for?

(I have wrote my first sentence and deleted it so many times, I lost count. So here goes nothing.) ....When we first met, I had no idea how much you could mean to me. You stayed when I needed you most, you told me I'm loved, and you held my hands through one of the hardest times in my life. But my heart shattered when I say, it was a false start to my cruel fairytale. You have made me surrendered, I gave you my all. I had never felt so deeply for anyone, and you knew how to make me fell for you. Maybe my love spoiled you, because darling you have changed. From the woman who could no wrong, to your worst enemy. It could be the day I breathed the wrong way, asked you the wrong question, said what you did upset me, asking too many questions. Those things made you reset me. Am I to walk on eggshells around you if we want to be together? Am I just to be the person you pick up the phone whenever you feel like calling? Am I to be the one you apologize and make amends? Am I the one to always be dealt a lower hand? Is it wrong to want to feel loved my the person you feel so deeply for? Is it wrong to want your partner to care about you? Is it wrong to not want to be ignored for hours? I never regretted the love I gave you. But my biggest regret was I had convinced myself that you cared for months. I let it continued when I knew there was no way I can live with this forever. I used to think that having you smiling at me a few times was better than none. Having you for an hour to myself was better than not talking to you at all. How it broke my heart to admit the truth today, you had no idea how much you hurt me. I wonder if you cared, you probably don't. I don't think you ever did in the recent months. This is my peace offering to you, I'm leaving. DONE. I'm done making excuses for you, I'm done being treated like the person you hated. I'm most certainly done with being your last priority. I don't know what love should be, but I'm sure as hell our relationship isn't what love supposed to be. I'm writing this to all my girls out there, when things changed. You know. No matter how many times you have lied to yourself for him, you can't lie forever. If he truly wants to be with you, you will know. And when you do, leave.

2025-08-14

“Chill”

No matter what kind of questions I’m bringing up it will only lead to one thing. On how you wanna be with yourself. You can’t tell someone to stop thinking and be chill with you. You make me feel like I’m asking a lot from you, while I only want 1hour to 2 hour of your 24 hour divided into any given time of the day, to do little things that make someone you care about feel a little special. It’s that kind of thing you gave up which means a lot to her. The time that you decided to spare to make her happy, does it make you a little happy to see her happy?

2025-08-14

Psychopath or Loyal, I don't know..

This is my true story which I haven't told anyone beside one person... Let start from 2011, when I was 13 years old. I met a girl in my Chinese class, she was 2 years younger than me, she was a energetic, outgoing and have cheerful spirit. Our first met start by arguing with each other about her friend's table space (we were just kids XD). Then I start falling for her. However, I was overage mature, I started thinking that we both are too young, and we wont go far even if we start. Then I start suppressing my own feeling and start to feel dead inside and I became cold and speak less and less. 3 years later, we graduated from the Chinese school (Grade 9th). During the year, I also feel that she is also into me but I still think that we both were too young (at that time, I even imagined we both falling for each other and start a family, silly me XD) and slowly, I was pushing her away while I were hurting my own feeling. I planned to confess 2 years later if we both make it to the final graduated, but she dropped out and I were still hopelessly falling for her. I didn't let thing stop there, I started stalking on the social media but never have the courage to talk to her and slowly we became stranger. During the years, she started to falling into relationships and broke up over and over again, I saw her got her heart broken and it broke mine as well. How can you bear to see the person you fell in love with getting hurt again and again. Through that experience, she started to change, she started using bad words, drinking, going to club.etc. and she became a completely different person I once knew. I don't blame her for that, anyone would fall to that after got in to multiple toxic relationships. During that time, I used to told this story to my female friend and she promised me to keep it as secret and she did. That female friend also have a feeling for me but got rejected. How can you love other person when you got one deep down in the bottom of your heart. I know it hurts you alot, but please forgive me. I apologized from the bottom of my heart. I wish you met someone who would love you as much as a human heart can do. I dont want to intrude you with my story. Sorry again. Back to the story, at the time I'm writing all this, she is in her latest relationship and I wish her all the best, I hope this relationship will lead to marriage. I wish you would live a happy life. You don't deserve pain. I apologized for not being there when you suffered from all the pain you encountered. You have changed from the person I once knew to a completely different person. but my love for you won't change. Because of all that I can't fall in love easily, I start to fear the terms love. I shall put an end to this pathetic story, may be I should free myself from you and start to fall in love again (it wont the same as last time) but I will give my all in my next relationship, I wont let the person I love suffer the way we did. From the person who crushed you for 11 years... Have a good life.
2025-08-14

I found a better me

It’s have been 9 months since we broke up. Yes, I can see you’re there with your new boyfriend and count by day day I thought you would have 4-5 new boys at the same time and this is really mean to you and that is really made you happier and relax than we were together. Im here without no one and yes i moved on since I put myself not into the dark , I grew myself a lot, I found a better me than the last 9 months. Im here to impress my feeling here again not because I miss you, btw I want to tell you that don’t try to stalk my profile or another connection to me which means you want to know where i am, who is with me , how far I walked without you… and yes something like that! Don’t worry, I still a dumb gay in your eye yes, honestly I never n ever stalk your timeline that just want to see what’s your relationship status or anything else about you. I just want you to know, I appreciated it and thanks for leaving me here , I’ll never remember you again for sure and don’t be regret of what you’ve done , it’s not a drama story and you’re not only one person that I can’t live without. If you’re reading this, you’ll know who i am. So my last one word to you , please stay healthy and don’t cheat with your new bf the same way you did to me! You should marry with a rich guy and make yourself worth than now!

2025-08-14

What is love?

I’m just wondering that most of the confessors who confess about love really know about love. Because I don’t. I really am. And maybe I’m confused. I don’t know if it because I’ve been single for too long or what (bachelor degree of single). I care I worry I talk all the time about the person that I close with but when others ask am I in love with that person? I would say I don’t and I don’t know what love is like. Also, they said the way and the action that I did toward that person it is love. And I don’t know at all.

2025-08-14

Maybe that’s who I am

So, I rejected my crush after he conveyed his feeling to me. It’s funny how the result should have made me happy, yet it turned out to be something scary to me. I want him to receive the sincere love from me but I don’t know how to do that. I don’t know how to love anyone properly. It feels like all I can do is just let me live with this feeling alone and he can just ignore me. Because it’s always better to never get started rather than having to leave him in the future. I don’t want him to be hurt. At least, right now he can forget about me more easily. -t.o.