Jealous
While people jealous me with other people, but I do happy when I knew they have fun ft their people.
I always thought that the older I got, the better thing would get. I was wrong. I am a young adult who still can't make my own decisions. I feel trapped and feel like I wasted my youth away. I am young and want to have fun and experience everything I have never done before. Is it too much to ask? Parent's care is something everybody needs, but there are boundaries. Sometimes I spend my time thinking of everything I could have done but couldn't because of somebody's opinions or pity excuses. I wish for a life that I live with no regrets, where I decide on my own, and nobody can tell what I can or cannot do. Not everybody has to have the same fate.
While people jealous me with other people, but I do happy when I knew they have fun ft their people.
3th time
IT'S A MATCH! Things escalated and we were now getting to know each other on our personal socials. I am a person who wasn't really looking forward to other people's messages before. With her, things were different.. She would often send me posts related to cute things that couple do. It was so cute, I swear. I was really looking forward to our first date together. At other times, she would send me posts about insecurity, loneliness.. etc She mentioned she was insecure and have a fear of her loved ones leaving her. It makes me want to care for her, shelter her.. It felt like I began to really fall for her, as I was really excited whenever we talk or text. A few weeks has passed since our first encounter, her replies started to take a longer time than usual. I was curious as she said she is done with Tinder in one of our calls before. So I went back on the app with an anonymous profile this time.. and to my surprise, I managed to match with her again. There she is, with her cute，flirty replies.. I felt a little jealous.. It felt like we had chemistry, but you started to drift slowly apart from me. Things were really going south for us. I questioned your late responses and you replied with having no time for a relationship. I guess, that's a fair answer. All the best from me, kon kmeng. #K
Disclaimer: If you're sensitive to any pessimistic contents, please skip this. You would not want anything to discourage you. I do not know where to start or what to write but here is my story. I'm born in good family, somehow i feel my life is not. I do not if i am overthinking or i am being too emotional. I am youngest child, my age is over 2 decades, my parents are over half of hundred. I am just still live by my parents, accomplish nothing but troubles. My parents spent nearly a million of dollars for my education somehow i feel to learn n.th useful to make them proud. My friends at this point, they made the name for themselves, they have a family. I feel like i am a lose. i fail as a child, as brother, and as a friend. I do a lot of things to disappoint my family. I know my family is well-known but this burden has pressure me more since i have a lot of expectation from people. In life, i want to have friends to hang out with but no one want to be near me, i had friends only in high-school that was because i see them everyday after that we cut off the contact. Even with my parents, i seem to grow distance, i could not do anything to help them. I want to be near them but i do not know how or where should i start. People might see me as out-going, friendly, extrovert but inside i am just a boring guy, emotional sh**, loner. I feel like darkness is my favourite place, like Batman but Batman is rich while i m poor. I just want to run off from home, and cut off the contacts just to free everyone's burden. I see myself with no real skill or ability even now i am just too afraid to be in love too, i know no one wants a useless guy. When people ask me, why do not i hang-out with my friends? I do not want to answer them, just because they do not like me, i do not blend in, or i have no friends. I know nothing beside being in the gym, fashion, and beauty. They are useless since I am not a model. It contributes nothing as incomes, only splurging. I need someone to understand me, lend me their shoulders, and telling me "Everything is alright", and somehow i just want to be alone. I sometime feel numb from sarcasm. I am also afraid to be in love since i got rejected on every of my confessions, i feel like i am not good enough for anyone, i just afraid to be in love, afraid to hurt someone too. I am just too insecure about everything. so far, i think i have reached my opinions. I do not know what to say anymore Thanks for reading
Is my hint not clear enough or you are just not into me? Are we talking or you just replying my text? Are we gonna talk again if I don’t start the conversation? Do I ever cross your mind?
I’ve been questioning my life lately and I try freaking hard to become the best version of myself everyday. Living away from home without having my parents by my side is something I’ve never done before and I admit that my life has changed so much since the day I left home. I’m constantly teary knowing how much they worry about me. They are the ONLY reason why I keep going and still living this freaking life. If it weren’t for them, my existence wouldn’t have existed until now. I admit that I appreciate where I am now. I truly am! But at some points, I feel like the life I’m living is currently draining me day by day. I cannot see the purpose of life and it stressed me out whenever I think of the word ‘future’. It’s so dark and I cannot see anything. My anxiety keeps telling me the worst scenarios because I know that I cannot be the one everyone expects me to be. I might look normal but deep down inside I’m just a sad soul. No one knows how hard it is for me to survive each day. Having anxiety and insecurities about everything. Being a professional overthinker who worry even at a little thing and always wake up tired from a vivid dream… I don’t want to live like this but it’s not like I have a choice. The more I grow up, the more I start questioning my life and wondering why I live like this. I’m turning 19 next month and my only wish is that I can survive til I’m 20… -J
ហេតុអ្វីបានជាត្រូវសួរសំនួរខ្លួនឯងជាច្រើនបែបនេះ? ហេតុអ្វីព្យាយារកលេសល្អៗសម្រាប់គេធ្វើអី បើគង់តែមានរឿងមកថ្មីទៀត តើនឹងហត់នៅថ្ងៃណាមួយទេ? តើពេលនោះគេនឹងចាប់យើងពេលយើងរបូតដៃទេ? តើមកពីគេមិនយកចិត្តទុកដាក់ រឺ យើងមិនសំខាន់ រឺ មកពីយើងស្រលាញ់ដល់ថ្នាក់ចិត្តចង្អៀតពេក? មិនមែនមកពីខ្យល់ជាអ្នកបក់ស្លឹកឈឺអោយជ្រុះទេ! ដើមឈើទៅវិញទេដែលដល់ពេលអនុញ្ញាតិអោយស្លឹកឈើចាកទៅ។
Under the mask of this cheerful person, there a thousand of things that no one could see! She's been hiding and just keeping thing to herself because she don't want to bother others and afraid that no one will listen to her. She has been asking for help but no one can see it because people only notice the cheerful her, while inside there million of pieces that been broken. She feel so helpless and mentally drained. She hate herself for being so cheerful and bright even thought thing is not okay for her.