មិត្តភាពដែលពោពេញទៅដោយការកុហក
មិនមែនខ្ញុំចិត្តដាច់ទេ តែអ្នក...ធ្វើឲទំនុកចិត្តខ្ញុំបាត់បង់បន្តិចម្ដងៗ រហូតដល់ពេលមួយដែលខ្ញុំសម្រេចចិត្តកាត់ផ្ដាច់មិត្តភាពមួយនេះចោល តើអ្នកដឹងទេថា...មនុស្សដែលដឹងគ្រប់រឿងដែលធ្វើជាមិនដឹងបែបនេះ វាគួរឲខ្លាចជាងអ្នកបានគិតទៅទៀត។
Hey, it’s been many years since I’m trying to move on. I know my feeling isn’t mutual and that’s fine. But there’s always moment when I always picture us in my head. Loving you is a guilty feeling and yet I still want you to be mine. It’s hurt when I know you love someone else. It’s hurt when I’m trying to move on while at the same time I want to experience us together however I can’t have you because you are someone I would feel guilt to have….. but I love you , love you till the point where I don’t want anyone else but you , till the point where seeing you happy also make me happy. I love you na , and I don’t know when I could move one but I’m pretty much sure that it would take years but it’s okay loving you is beautiful even though it hurts me.
មិនមែនខ្ញុំចិត្តដាច់ទេ តែអ្នក...ធ្វើឲទំនុកចិត្តខ្ញុំបាត់បង់បន្តិចម្ដងៗ រហូតដល់ពេលមួយដែលខ្ញុំសម្រេចចិត្តកាត់ផ្ដាច់មិត្តភាពមួយនេះចោល តើអ្នកដឹងទេថា...មនុស្សដែលដឹងគ្រប់រឿងដែលធ្វើជាមិនដឹងបែបនេះ វាគួរឲខ្លាចជាងអ្នកបានគិតទៅទៀត។
This is a story of mine. A story that I don’t tell anyone and never plan to but it’s been making me feel so heavy so, I decide to confess it here. I’m a mentally ill person, since i was a kid (it’s a long long story). I didn’t get enough love and affection as i was a kid so since I became a teenager, i attach to people who give me affection easily. Long ago, i knew a man on internet. We started texting with each other until we fell in love. He was a really good guy. He loved me, always cared about me, checked up on me, helped me with everything, he was literally perfect plus he’s a good looking person, he was a man in every women’s dream. He didn’t know about my mental state until we dated and it turned out he was also mentally ill, but my condition is worse than him. But things went so smooth, our relationship was super healthy and we were so deeply in love. After we’ve been together for 1 year, thing started to happen, he started asking me to show him my body. I refused but he’d said I didn’t trust him or anything. So i showed him with the condition that there won’t be a second time and he agreed. A few days later he asked me again, he convinced me and if I refused, he’d get upset after that. Thing went repeatedly. He asked me again and again and there’s no the end of it. I loved him too much but doing something like that really made me feel so wrong and disgusted myself. I didn’t want our relationship to fall apart so i did as he told me to (i was stupid). Little did he know, i cried every time after showing him my body. A few months later, i felt like I couldn’t keep it going and going repeatedly like that anymore and i felt so wrong especially i felt like i’m a bad daughter and how’d my mom feel if she know that her daughter do something like that in such a young age. That night, he requested me again but then I refused and i told him i’m not gonna do it anymore, i’ve done enough and I felt so wrong about it. But then he started forcing me. I started to cry but he didn’t change his mind and he promised it will be the last time. I was dumb enough to believe that so i showed him again while i was crying and mad at him. After he felt satisfied, he started to cry, he felt sorry for me and he said I couldn’t control his mind and it was so hard for him. After a month, i guess, he started to request me again and when i refused he always get upset and acted cold to me. I loved him so so much, i was afraid that our relationship was gonna fall apart so i do as he said but that time, he convinced me to masturbate myself. I did everything that he told me to. After one year and half of our relationship, the distance was started to grow between as. I was not a good girlfriend to him, being with a mentally ill person like me is so draining and he also had so much things to deal with, he was also suffering and he still tried to help me and comfort me. I fell into a deep depression that I started to think about committing suicide again. But then, we broke up for some complicate reasons that I can’t even understand. I was so attached to him, i did everything just for him to come back, I begged him and I couldn’t eat or do anything, i just cried and kept calling him over and over even he didn’t pick up. But at night, he picked up but we didn’t talk much since i only called him so i can ask him to be back. Until one night, he said he was still in love with me but i need to be strong, when I become strong, he will comeback, I believed him. We called for a few minutes for a few nights but during our call he always asked me to show him my body and masturbate myself. I thought doing it would make him stay and love me, i was so dumb that I sacrificed and gave him everything just to make him stay. A few days later, I felt like he doesn’t love me anymore because he was so fine, he didn’t care whether i’m okay or not, if i eat, if i cry, he didn’t care about me, he was just living his life normally. He ignored my texted and didn’t pick up my call the whole day until night time, he picked up and asked me to do thing as I mentioned above. One night, i asked him if he was still in love with me because his action showed that he was already fell out of love. “I don’t have any feelings for you since the day we broke up, i was just feel pity for you and afraid you were gonna do something harmful to yourself”, he responded. It really hurt my feelings, it was like someone stabbed me in the chest, I started to cry so hard and all he could say was sorry. I was literally so so depressed, i still texted him and called him after he said that to me (i was so thaok) but he didn’t respond or pick up. After a few weeks I started activating my social media account and acted like I got over it (I didn’t get any better actually). He texted me, i was less sad and asked him to fix thing but he refused again. Things kept happening until a month or 2 months (I forgot) I decided to stop asking to come back since he got a new gf already but i was still in love with him and think about him 24/7. And now, i still can’t get over him and i can’t bring myself to hate him either because he was so good to me even though he did hurt my feelings but he treated me like i was something special and a really important person to him. The only person i hate right now is myself. I hate myself so much, i’m so disgusting and i think I deserved everything that happened to me. Everything that happened in the past is haunting me, the more i get reminded of it, the more i hate myself. Even though i tried to get over it, to forget it, to start working on myself, to heal myself but none of it work. They say time will heal but actually, it doesn’t. I act like i moved on and happy because I don’t want my family and friends to worry about me. They’ve been helping me a lot and i really appreciate it but it couldn’t help me somehow. It’s all my faults, I know people will hate me if they know about this but what can i do to be forgiven. But how can i be forgiven by people when i can’t even forgive myself…
Man , it’s hard , having a crush on you for almost 2 years and im having a heartbreak 😂 , like dude i know im not pretty , aint ur type but like i just want you to see . abit in me are fine . seeing your story make me curious who’s that lucky girl that make you feels the butterfly back . I hope you’ll wait for my confess xd
I have never realized how painful it is to be avoided by someone who once could easily brighten my day up by just showing up in front of me. To the man who would put me first before anything else, do you recollect the moments we spent together? How have you been doing after the day we no longer talked to one another? Could I ask for those days to happen once again? And could you call one last time so that I don’t regret not picking up your phone the last time you called me? You have every reason to hate me, but you can’t expect me to do the same. I’m good at hiding my feeling but that doesn’t mean my heart is not breaking seeing you attempting to avoid me at all cost.
💀💀 I was called as a horny guy and sometimes even a f boy, using this app. But actually texting people on this platform is more fun. ( not the sexual stuffs )
វាប្រហែលជាស្រមោលមួយដែលខ្ញុំពិបាកនឹងយកឈ្នះបំផុត។ ខ្ញុំធ្លាប់មានស្នេហាមួយដែលអ្នករាល់គ្នាមើលមកហាក់ដូចល្អឥតខ្ចោះ ប្រហែលគ្មានថ្ងៃបែកគ្នានោះឡើយ។ ពេលវេលា ៦ឆ្នាំហាក់កន្លងផុតទៅយ៉ាងលឿន សៀវភៅមួយនោះត្រូវបានបាត់ខ្លឹមសារត្រឹមវណ្ណ:គ្រួសារ។ ខ្ញុំជាកូនអ្នកមធ្យមដែលមិនដែលខ្វះព្រឹកល្ងាច ហើយក៏មិនដែលត្រូវខ្វាយខ្វល់ពីបញ្ហាហិរញ្ញវត្ថុ តែត្រូវបានគាត់ប្រាប់ថាគ្រួសារគាត់មិនពេញចិត្តខ្ញុំព្រោះខ្ញុំគ្មានផ្ទះ គ្មានលុយ គ្មានឡាន គ្មានមុខរបរ។ ខ្ញុំទទួលស្គាល់ថាការមិនពេញចិត្តនេះគឺត្រូវព្រោះអ្វីដែលខ្ញុំមានពេលនោះជារបស់គ្រួសារទាំងអស់ ខ្ញុំទើបតែចាប់ផ្តើមរៀនឆ្នាំទី២ប៉ុណ្ណោះ។ ខ្ញុំបានប្រែក្លាយជាមនុស្សម្នាក់ដែលងប់ងល់នឹងការរកស៊ីបំផុតដើម្បីអោយខ្លួនសមនឹងគេ។ តែខ្ញុំហាក់ដូចជាកាន់តែអស់សង្បឹមនឹងបន្តទៅទៀត ព្រោះអ្នកមានដែលគេរកសុទ្ធតែជាកូនអ្នកលក់ឡានធំៗនៅក្នុងស្រុក។ ក្រោយខ្ញុំមានអ្វីគ្រប់យ៉ាងទាំងមុខរបរនិងហិរញ្ញវត្ថុ ក៏សម្រេចមានទំនាក់ទំនងជាមួយនារីម្នាក់សាមញ្ញនិងល្អខ្លាំងសម្រាប់ខ្ញុំ ប៉ុន្តែសៀវភៅមួយនេះត្រូវបានបញ្ចប់ត្រឹមគ្រួសារម្តងទៀតព្រោះខ្ញុំអាយុប្អូនគាត់។ ក្រោយមកខ្ញុំបានជួបនារីម្នាក់ទៀតដែលល្អនិងសាកសមនឹងខ្ញុំ។ គាត់ជាមនុស្សម្នាក់ដែលធ្វើអោយខ្ញុំមានអារម្មណ៌ស្ងប់និងសុវត្ថិភាពពេលមានវត្តមានគាត់នៅជិត។ គាត់ជាបុគ្គលម្នាក់ដែលខ្ញុំចង់មើលថែនិងផ្តល់ភាពកក់ក្តៅដែលគាត់ត្រូវការ។ ខ្ញុំនឹងគាត់តបសារគ្នារាល់ថ្ងៃក្នុងនាមជាមិត្ត ខ្ញុំគិតថានាងបានដឹងពីចិត្តរបស់ខ្ញុំចំពោះនាង ប៉ុន្តែខ្ញុំនៅតែមិនអាចស្មានយល់ពីនាងបាន។ ត្រឹមខ្លាចមិនហ៊ានបោះជំហានទៅមុខព្រោះតែខ្លាចការបដិសេធម្តងទៀត ខ្ញុំបានព្យាយាមម្តងហើយម្តងទៀតប៉ុន្តែនៅតែមិនអាចដើរចេញពីភាពភ័យខ្លាចនៃស្រមោលខ្មៅ។ តើខ្ញុំគួរធ្វើបែបណាដើម្បីជំនះភាពភ័យខ្លាចមួយនេះ?
Guess It’s time that we parted our ways. I’ve really tried everything I can for you. Things I was never willing to do for anyone else... but I’ve been feeling so tired... I couldn’t see where I stand. I couldn’t see if things between us are going to be better. I couldn’t see your commitment, and I’ve waited for you long enough. So I give up. To protect the little pride I have left. Hope you meet someone better and has the same love language as you. We’re not made for each other. Farewell, love.
This is to #KJ0605 . It breaks my heart seeing girls being guilt tripped about this topic. I hope this message goes to all girls who are hating her body regardless of you breaking up with your boyfriend or not. I hope it goes to all fathers and brothers, hopefully all the future husbands as well. Broken hymen is a myth. You may do some research on this if you like. My love, Virginity is a social construct, and your value is not attach to it. Your hymen doesn’t break, and no not everyone bleeds on their first sexual intercourse. Every hymen looks different, have different shapes and holes, some ppl are born without one. It is very important to understand your body anatomy. My love, you are beautiful and strong. If you are worried, please worry whether your beliefs on the “purity” of women is actually worth believing. Whether you are 18 or 21 or 31, whether you are married or single, you are worthy of respect. You are more than your virginity. If nobody loves you, this sister loves you❤️