Hi - Knong Jit

All the clouds in me are raining

I’ve been questioning my life lately and I try freaking hard to become the best version of myself everyday. Living away from home without having my parents by my side is something I’ve never done before and I admit that my life has changed so much since the day I left home. I’m constantly teary knowing how much they worry about me. They are the ONLY reason why I keep going and still living this freaking life. If it weren’t for them, my existence wouldn’t have existed until now. I admit that I appreciate where I am now. I truly am! But at some points, I feel like the life I’m living is currently draining me day by day. I cannot see the purpose of life and it stressed me out whenever I think of the word ‘future’. It’s so dark and I cannot see anything. My anxiety keeps telling me the worst scenarios because I know that I cannot be the one everyone expects me to be. I might look normal but deep down inside I’m just a sad soul. No one knows how hard it is for me to survive each day. Having anxiety and insecurities about everything. Being a professional overthinker who worry even at a little thing and always wake up tired from a vivid dream… I don’t want to live like this but it’s not like I have a choice. The more I grow up, the more I start questioning my life and wondering why I live like this. I’m turning 19 next month and my only wish is that I can survive til I’m 20… -J

Still hoping it’s us at the end

Alright so……where should I even start? It’s just that the memories and all the moments we had are too much to be organized and spoken by words. U’ve gone, i should’ve step forward too, but I couldn’t because I keep looking back at all the sweet talks we had, the love we spread, the scent of yours, especially the face I once fell for. Like, How could I walk myself forward imagining not being able to have u by my side like I used to? I wouldn’t wanna be cringe and creating poetry about our stories iswtg, But ever since u’ve left, I look for u in everyone, I look for u at everywhere and that shyt sucks, cuz I should know u wouldn’t think of me that way like i do. There’s none a day I didn’t think about u. There’s none a second I didn’t miss u. We might not make it works out this time, nevertheless let’s meet again next year, next 5 years or maybe next 10 years. I would love to start things again with u and try to make it all works out like I used to dream of the two of us. I’m wondering Where did we went wrong? ✌🏻This one is for u guys who are reading this, I wantin to share abit of what i regret and I hope u guys won’t do it like I did. The reason we ended up is not for the reasons of cheating, 3rd person, or things. Looking back at it, I was also part of the problem because I realize that “a love works out when both of us love each other the same way” while b4 I was the type of “a love only work out when the guy gives love more” that was completely wrong. U girls and guys should stop if u have it that way. U love em? Show em ur all. U care for em? Just go ahead n ask em how their day went.U want em?Fight for it. I’m pretty sure a word of yours will surely brighten their days up.This is how rlts works, if u are selfish or still expectin to gain more than u give, then don’t ask for love. Last words for him: Till this day, I still miss and miss you. What if in the next few years and I still can’t get over you? I don’t want to forget you n I hope u won’t forget me too.

I’m not the one for her!

I have known her for almost a year who has a good attitude, strong and similar vibe to me. Recently there’s something in me told me that I’m not the one for her, I’m not good enough for her, i can’t take care of her for the rest of my life. Her last relationship hurt her so bad, but I was there to help her from day one. I don’t trust myself that I can go through all this things, I don’t want to see her in that kind of situation anymore, I don’t want her to lose herself again. But at the same time, there’s some part in me tell me she’s the person you have been looking for for a long time, she’s your type, she’s the girl you want to take care of. And now I don’t know what to do. It’s really hard for me

The hidden love, the endless regrets.

Life is too short to keep love locked in. Don’t trying to reject the truth and your true feelings to somebody. You lied when you told them that you did not love them. But you did. And now that is something you’ve to live with for the rest of your life. That is something you’ve to leave in the back of your throat. Imagine. Loving someone but not showing them how much you love them. This is the burden that arrives the moment you're gone. The weight you have to carry on your shoulders. The burning you feels over your skin when someone mentions their name. forever. You loved them but did not show it. And maybe you wanted more but was too distracted to do anything about it. You lost them. Some people can’t see the the good things in front of them because they think that they have time for it later but you know what, sometimes later become NEVER. How many “what if” in your life? If you have too much ” what if’s “ in your mind then what if your feelings are returned? You have to try for things even when you don't know the outcome. After you tell them the truth they can smile, say you they feel the same or simply go away, disappear and don’t talk to you anymore. All of these are still better than talking with a person and not telling them your real feelings. We never know what will happen tomorrow or in next few hours. Bear in mind that the pain of rejection and the awkwardness of feeling vulnerable is nothing compared to the regret of not saying something when you no longer have the chance. “Better is open rebuke than hidden love”

2025-08-14

I am just a sore-loser

Disclaimer: If you're sensitive to any pessimistic contents, please skip this. You would not want anything to discourage you. I do not know where to start or what to write but here is my story. I'm born in good family, somehow i feel my life is not. I do not if i am overthinking or i am being too emotional. I am youngest child, my age is over 2 decades, my parents are over half of hundred. I am just still live by my parents, accomplish nothing but troubles. My parents spent nearly a million of dollars for my education somehow i feel to learn n.th useful to make them proud. My friends at this point, they made the name for themselves, they have a family. I feel like i am a lose. i fail as a child, as brother, and as a friend. I do a lot of things to disappoint my family. I know my family is well-known but this burden has pressure me more since i have a lot of expectation from people. In life, i want to have friends to hang out with but no one want to be near me, i had friends only in high-school that was because i see them everyday after that we cut off the contact. Even with my parents, i seem to grow distance, i could not do anything to help them. I want to be near them but i do not know how or where should i start. People might see me as out-going, friendly, extrovert but inside i am just a boring guy, emotional sh**, loner. I feel like darkness is my favourite place, like Batman but Batman is rich while i m poor. I just want to run off from home, and cut off the contacts just to free everyone's burden. I see myself with no real skill or ability even now i am just too afraid to be in love too, i know no one wants a useless guy. When people ask me, why do not i hang-out with my friends? I do not want to answer them, just because they do not like me, i do not blend in, or i have no friends. I know nothing beside being in the gym, fashion, and beauty. They are useless since I am not a model. It contributes nothing as incomes, only splurging. I need someone to understand me, lend me their shoulders, and telling me "Everything is alright", and somehow i just want to be alone. I sometime feel numb from sarcasm. I am also afraid to be in love since i got rejected on every of my confessions, i feel like i am not good enough for anyone, i just afraid to be in love, afraid to hurt someone too. I am just too insecure about everything. so far, i think i have reached my opinions. I do not know what to say anymore Thanks for reading

Why

Why do I still love you more and more even though we broke up 2years ago? Why can’t I just move on like the way you did? Why do I still cry over and over again for you?បងលួចមើលអូន but Why did sometimes អូនមើលបងវិញ ( we’re in the same class)? The way you looked at me, it drove me crazy. I‘m still waiting for you អូន even though I know it’s impossible that you will come back...Daisuki da yo my love

សង្សារក្នុងចិត្ត

រាល់ទង្វើបងធ្វើគ្រប់យ៉ាងក្នងនាមត្រឹមជាប្អូនរបស់បង កំដរបងព្រោះពេលនេះបងនៅឆ្ងាយពីសង្សារបង ក៏មិនដែលមានបំណងបំបែកបំបាក់បងពីគេ មានត្រឹមតែចិត្តស្រលាញ់បងតែម្ខាង អរគុណដែលមិនភ្លេចថ្ងៃខួបកំណើតរបស់ប្អូនម្នាក់នេះ អរគុណជាមនុស្សទីមួយដែលជូនពរប្អូន អរគុណដែលបងចំណាយពេលវេលាជាមួយប្អូនតាមពាក្យសន្យារបស់បង នៅតែជាក្មេងតូចម្នាក់របស់បង បងសម្ដែងរឺមិនសម្ដែងប្អូនមិនដឹងទេ តែរាល់ទង្វើដែលបងធ្វើពេលនៅក្បែរគ្នា ប្អូនពិតជាមានសេចក្ដីសុខណាស់ ប្អូនដឹងច្បាស់ថាព្រំដែនរបស់ប្អូននៅត្រង់ណា ប្អូនសុំទុកបងនៅក្នុងចិត្តប្អូនបន្ដទៀតចុះ បងនៅតែជាមនុស្សម្នាក់ដែលប្អូនឈោងមិនដល់ តែប្អូននៅតែប្រាថ្នាហើយស្រលាញ់បងដូចដើម ក្ដីសុខរបស់បងជាក្ដីសុខរបស់ប្អូនម្នាក់នេះដូចគ្នា។ ពីក្មេងតូចរបស់បងដែលតែងតែស្រលាញ់បង⭐️✌️

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