Bullied? Anxiety? - T

I used to be considered as “ugly” (got bullied for being overweight, etc. even adults used to do that to me :D ) that really destroyed my self esteem. Although, I lost weight and take care of myself and is considered as pretty now but still the permanent mental damages are there. I had developed eating disorder, social anxiety, etc. I fake being confident but the anxiety, the trembling, and panic attack always happened. And because of that anxiety that fear of being judged I think a huge misunderstanding was made. Sometimes I really wish I could just communicate better instead of always being quiet. :)

Feeling bottled up?

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2025-08-14

I'm lonely

I'm not a model, but I'm educated. I'm witty. I like to travel. I'm interesting. I do great things on my own, but I'm still lonely. My friends think I don't try, but I do. I ask guys out but they don't follow up. I had a good dating life...in that I dated amazing guys, but lately I haven't had relationship in almost two year. I miss it, a lot. Now and again, I have those dark thoughts of 'what's wrong with me?'. Well, there's nothing wrong with me. I'm great. But I am also alone. I feel like people in my life look to me as a source of strength, because in most facets of my life I am very independent. I feel like a fraud. I feel like I need to admit to myself that I am very lonely.
2025-08-14

I hope you're happier now.

It seems to me like you couldn't wait to finally getting rid of me...I was hoping you'd ask me to stay after all the shits we've been through and after all these months I've spent suffering in silent but you didn't mind losing me at all You would rather start afresh with someone new than to make things right between us I really did believe you when you gave me your word Never once did I question you and your intentions...I thought I knew you by heart and you wouldn't do anything to hurt me...I defended you to everyone Now I'm left feeling like I'm constantly dying

2025-08-14

Wrong love

I know we both are girls but I don’t know why I fall in love with you and always fell harder every time I see your smile your laugh . Thinking about it’s again I know it’s only me the one who fell and even harder.

2025-08-14

A piece of you

I'm scared because if no one makes me feel the way you did. but I'll be ok for a few days but then it hits me, I stop functioning and everything falls apart again. What hurts is that we never really said goodbye. We just kind of ended. And I'm afraid I'll miss you forever. But then again, you didn't say goodbye, and a part of me believes that means you're coming back.
2025-08-14

The villain is me

There have been countless times where I've made you feel all of those disgusting feelings knowing full well how much you loved me knowing how much I hated these but I couldn't bring myself to change so suddenly. So i gave up our connection even though I still loved you dearly. Maybe that's why it pained me to see you being all hurtful and anxious because of my thoughtless actions, the thought that only me matters in our relationship. I've pictured us in a family of many pets, pictured you being the best dad and the best husband a man could ever be. That at some point i was unable to picture my life without you. But gradually, I've realized my behaviors started to hurt you, my actions began to make you doubt my love for you, we kept misinterpreting and misunderstanding each other. I tried my best to be optimistic about the situation despite being the over emotional and dramatic person i am. I have thought that with love, we could overcome everything but i was naive. I forgot that love is just the topping to the already flourishing relationship. We couldn't take each other's words to heart, you have a complete different opinion and view and so do I. So how can we expect each of us to understand each other? I've resisted the urge to approach you multiple times already since we broke up, I've cried thinking about you, i just wanted to scream loudly so the whole world know i miss you. I've missed you but I'd rather pick your happiness over this. I'll still hold the belief that you'll find someone who can shoulder all the burdens you're carrying, always be the ear to listen to your thoughts, always have the heart to open to your everything. I'll pray for you. I didn't want to make this long, but it's already long. So I wanna close this with .... I love you. Sorry that your last person couldn't be me. I will forever cherish the memories we had. Please stay safe and healthy. From that girl who let you go away.
2025-08-14

Crying Every night

Let me tell you about my nightmares. The most things I am Afraid of , it is I am gonna lose my man once day. It hurt so much. The man I love the most more than myself. But we still can’t be together. We are still in relationship as a girlfriend and boyfriend until nowadays. We fall in love since we are in Highschool. Day by day, when I grow up , I getting more scare . The more I grow , the more I scare . You know what ? Because I know that my parents won’t approve us. Yes. I know that is not easy to get through that situation. To make the reader more Easy to understand : ( Rich & Poor ). I know that is too hard . Really hard to fight it . To my man ❤️, he was working so hard day by day . He was thinking so much day by day . Everything he did just wants to get me and live with me . I know that he won’t give up until we still strong to fight. But time fly to fast and the hope are less . The thing has change . And I asked myself , if I didn’t agree to love him . Maybe he have more freedom than with me . If I didn’t love him , maybe he not really get too hard for me . If I reject on that day , maybe he not get too much pressure , too much stress and too much overthinking. He also know that , it too hard to get me . But he will try again and again until he give up. He still try too hard for me . I didn’t regret because I love him . But I regret that I love him and make him more difficult because of me . Everything is my false. We have been talk each about that situation. And I still can’t accept it . That why I always cry every night I went to sleep. It too hard to stay far aways from the man I love the most. Our story are too complicated and too long. But I hide that feeling for many years . I didn’t told my boyfriend about that but he knew that I am stress about that so much and overthinking . But he didn’t knew that I had cry so hard every night . I really t hope that I can stay with him❤️. I love you so much 💕. Note: It quite too long about my story . And I am sorry if my English not really good . Because I am poor with English. Thank for those who read my story. Big thank to this page that help me to talk about my story out. Even not help me 100% . But at least 50% help a lots to share my story and let them know my story . #Thankeveryone. #Thankknongjitpage
2025-08-14

If I want you to "reply my chat" as your first priority, is that hard for you?

When it comes to reply your chat, it always stay as my first priority. Whenever I see my phone, what I think is that I always want to reply your chat. But when it comes to you, everything is opposite. When you hold your phone, the first thing that you think is not about replying my chat. Is that hard just to type a word and send it to me? Is that hard just to put me in the first priority?
2025-08-14

Friendship

I don’t want to think negative in our friendships. But since this happened, i do feel i was ignored from all of you. I’m really disappointed honestly but I can’t tell. I don’t expect anything from you but sometimes I hurt myself. If you see this, don’t ask me if it’s mine cuz that’s mine.