When it comes to reply your chat, it always stay as my first priority. Whenever I see my phone, what I think is that I always want to reply your chat. But when it comes to you, everything is opposite. When you hold your phone, the first thing that you think is not about replying my chat. Is that hard just to type a word and send it to me? Is that hard just to put me in the first priority?
Do you really love me or you are just lonely? How long are we going to stuck here? Being more than friends but less than relationship? have you ever think of wanting to commit to this relationship? How about y'all? have you been in the situation? What did you do? Did it end in a good or bad way? How long should I wait more? Should i end it now?
These 3 years not a single day where i wish we would end up tgt but the more i held on to u the more i realized i never meant to be in ur life so i gave up
take care, ber sen jea ku puk yerng ng joub knea mdong teat #LT
No moti, no worky !
This is a story of mine. A story that I don’t tell anyone and never plan to but it’s been making me feel so heavy so, I decide to confess it here. I’m a mentally ill person, since i was a kid (it’s a long long story). I didn’t get enough love and affection as i was a kid so since I became a teenager, i attach to people who give me affection easily. Long ago, i knew a man on internet. We started texting with each other until we fell in love. He was a really good guy. He loved me, always cared about me, checked up on me, helped me with everything, he was literally perfect plus he’s a good looking person, he was a man in every women’s dream. He didn’t know about my mental state until we dated and it turned out he was also mentally ill, but my condition is worse than him. But things went so smooth, our relationship was super healthy and we were so deeply in love. After we’ve been together for 1 year, thing started to happen, he started asking me to show him my body. I refused but he’d said I didn’t trust him or anything. So i showed him with the condition that there won’t be a second time and he agreed. A few days later he asked me again, he convinced me and if I refused, he’d get upset after that. Thing went repeatedly. He asked me again and again and there’s no the end of it. I loved him too much but doing something like that really made me feel so wrong and disgusted myself. I didn’t want our relationship to fall apart so i did as he told me to (i was stupid). Little did he know, i cried every time after showing him my body. A few months later, i felt like I couldn’t keep it going and going repeatedly like that anymore and i felt so wrong especially i felt like i’m a bad daughter and how’d my mom feel if she know that her daughter do something like that in such a young age. That night, he requested me again but then I refused and i told him i’m not gonna do it anymore, i’ve done enough and I felt so wrong about it. But then he started forcing me. I started to cry but he didn’t change his mind and he promised it will be the last time. I was dumb enough to believe that so i showed him again while i was crying and mad at him. After he felt satisfied, he started to cry, he felt sorry for me and he said I couldn’t control his mind and it was so hard for him. After a month, i guess, he started to request me again and when i refused he always get upset and acted cold to me. I loved him so so much, i was afraid that our relationship was gonna fall apart so i do as he said but that time, he convinced me to masturbate myself. I did everything that he told me to. After one year and half of our relationship, the distance was started to grow between as. I was not a good girlfriend to him, being with a mentally ill person like me is so draining and he also had so much things to deal with, he was also suffering and he still tried to help me and comfort me. I fell into a deep depression that I started to think about committing suicide again. But then, we broke up for some complicate reasons that I can’t even understand. I was so attached to him, i did everything just for him to come back, I begged him and I couldn’t eat or do anything, i just cried and kept calling him over and over even he didn’t pick up. But at night, he picked up but we didn’t talk much since i only called him so i can ask him to be back. Until one night, he said he was still in love with me but i need to be strong, when I become strong, he will comeback, I believed him. We called for a few minutes for a few nights but during our call he always asked me to show him my body and masturbate myself. I thought doing it would make him stay and love me, i was so dumb that I sacrificed and gave him everything just to make him stay. A few days later, I felt like he doesn’t love me anymore because he was so fine, he didn’t care whether i’m okay or not, if i eat, if i cry, he didn’t care about me, he was just living his life normally. He ignored my texted and didn’t pick up my call the whole day until night time, he picked up and asked me to do thing as I mentioned above. One night, i asked him if he was still in love with me because his action showed that he was already fell out of love. “I don’t have any feelings for you since the day we broke up, i was just feel pity for you and afraid you were gonna do something harmful to yourself”, he responded. It really hurt my feelings, it was like someone stabbed me in the chest, I started to cry so hard and all he could say was sorry. I was literally so so depressed, i still texted him and called him after he said that to me (i was so thaok) but he didn’t respond or pick up. After a few weeks I started activating my social media account and acted like I got over it (I didn’t get any better actually). He texted me, i was less sad and asked him to fix thing but he refused again. Things kept happening until a month or 2 months (I forgot) I decided to stop asking to come back since he got a new gf already but i was still in love with him and think about him 24/7. And now, i still can’t get over him and i can’t bring myself to hate him either because he was so good to me even though he did hurt my feelings but he treated me like i was something special and a really important person to him. The only person i hate right now is myself. I hate myself so much, i’m so disgusting and i think I deserved everything that happened to me. Everything that happened in the past is haunting me, the more i get reminded of it, the more i hate myself. Even though i tried to get over it, to forget it, to start working on myself, to heal myself but none of it work. They say time will heal but actually, it doesn’t. I act like i moved on and happy because I don’t want my family and friends to worry about me. They’ve been helping me a lot and i really appreciate it but it couldn’t help me somehow. It’s all my faults, I know people will hate me if they know about this but what can i do to be forgiven. But how can i be forgiven by people when i can’t even forgive myself…
បើអាចត្រលប់ពេលមកក្រោយម្ដងទៀត ខ្ញុំនឹងមិនបោះបង់អ្នកទេ គ្រប់យ៉ាងអ្នកធ្វើដាក់ខ្ញុំ ល្អណាស់ ដែលមិនធ្លាប់មាននរណា ម្នាក់ធ្វើបែបនឹងពីមុនមក ខ្ញុំសប្បាយគ្រប់ពេលនៅជាមួយអ្នក ត្រេកអរនៅពេលឃើញសារ និង notification អ្នកលោតមកលើអេក្រង់ទូរស័ព្ទខ្ញុំ ខ្ញុំសប្បាយចិត្តនៅពេលឃើញអ្នកបារម្ភ និងលើកទឹកចិត្តខ្ញុំពេលពិបាកចិត្តម្ដងៗ ចំណែកខ្ញុំវិញ មិនបានធ្វើអ្វីអោយអ្នកសូម្បីបន្តិច អាចថា ខ្ញុំងាយទុកចិត្តមនុស្សក៏បាន តែ អ្នកពិតជាល្អណាស់ ហើយខ្ញុំបែរជាល្ងង់បោះបង់អ្នក ដើម្បីមនុស្សម្នាក់ ដឹងថា ឥឡូវមិនអាចដូចមុន តែខ្ញុំក៏នៅតែចង់ប៉ះប៉ូវនូវទង្វើគ្រប់យ៉ាងដែលអ្នកធ្វើដាក់ខ្ញុំ 🙂♥️
I have a crush on my senior, idk when was it that I start have that feeling. I like him a lot but I always hide my emotions sooo well, uhhmm I’m not quite sure tho abt this😂. I think we start to get pretty close lately that he share about his plan with me without telling anyone else and of course I’m always the supporter, he even help me with my health issue he tryna find the solution for me and he even helping me out a lot, like guiding me to his uni since I want to study there too. He encouraged me with so many things. But I’m still not sure if we both have a mutual feeling… I never expected much since he always a kind person he might have done the same things to everyone.
Recently, I have seen some posts and memes about “Ukraine” and “Thai actress“. And they are assuming that men are interested in “Ukraine” but women are more inclined toward that “Thai actress” tragedy. Basically, it’s like “men things“ and “women things”. It's always seemed strange to me that women are considered more into drama, shopping, cooking,… and men are considered more into politics, cars,… and women shares different interests from men. I, myself is just a teenager who is finishing my diploma and prepare for my college year. I finds it ridiculous and ignorant. I’m a girl and I’m either into politics, shopping, cars and cooking (sometimes). And I’m not better than whoever is more interested in celebrities news…people share different interests.