when to give up on someone?
i think i canβt tell my whole storyβ¦ i did tried my best to make everything better but seem like itβs doesnβt work
Befor we us are best friends, but everything has changed. When I rejected your love.I want everything as before, why not? Why run away from me? Why not talk to me.Why pretend not to know me? Why change school? Why? Why can not we be as good friends as before? 4 years of friendship is not less, why did you choose this way? I want to say thanks very much for everything,I hope you know. Iβm Sorry Boyπ¦
i think i canβt tell my whole storyβ¦ i did tried my best to make everything better but seem like itβs doesnβt work
Day by day, I started to know where I stand in everyoneβs life. Iβm that friend who is there when they need something. Iβm that daughter who is responsible for every big and little things inside and outside the household. Iβm that granddaughter who is just a female. Iβm that sister who doesnβt deserve the respect. Iβm that niece who got compared with the cousinsβ parents and got hated by my own cousins. Iβm that girlfriend who loves too much and also being a little too much that sometimes it suffocates him. Every eyes and words that look and say to me, make me feel small worthless. Whenever i try to explain what happen and both me, I got shouted back, not listening to me, first they comfort and still act the same. Itβs hard coming home everyday and get the cold look from everyone and no one in the house actually talking to you. I have to repeat myself over 3 times to get the answer or someone attention. The only time I get someone to care enough for my well-being or existence is when I commit suicide.
I'm not sure what will you and others valued on this name "important sister". Sometimes, I feel abit down but whatever happens, this name won't change. I'm still keep you as my important one, no one understand it but I'm really hope you can feel me trust my speech. I used to hope that one day we separate then we go our own path, but your voice always feel heard by my soul. Whatever happens, we changed but I won't forget what you advised me. Distancing doesn't mean the soul break. Love you, all the best to my important sisters β€
I cant stop thinking about suicide. I don't know. There's nothing much about the problem i've got but i just dunno how to solve it and i cannot think how to too. I cant tell anyone anymore, just like they'll just judge me and thinking im attention seeker. (Even here now, i have no confidence writing this without thinking they will judge me) Stuck on anything, and my mind keep telling me "if you die that'll be solve cuz it's you, you are the problem." I really am maybe... I'm sorry if I ruin your day, really sorry.
α’αΆααααααααααΌααααααα‘αΆααααΊααα’ ααα’αΆααααααααααααα‘αΆααααααΊα’αΆαααααααα½αααααααααααααααααααα αααααΆααααααααααΆα ααΆαααΆαααα ααΆαα α½αα αα αααααα ααααΆα’αΆααααααααα’ αα½αααααααααααΈα’αΆαααααααααααααΌααααααα‘αΆααα αααα»ααααααΆα αα·ααααα α·αααααΆαα½αααΆααααα‘αΆααααααααα»ααααααα²ααααΆαα ααΆααααα‘αΆαααα·αααααΆααα αΎαααααΆααααα α αααΆααααΆαα α ααα²ααα’ααΆαααααα»αααΆαααΆαα ααΆααααααΆααααα»α αα½αααΎααααα‘αΆααααααΆ ααΎαααααααΆαα αΌααα α αααα»αααΆαα’αΆααααααααΆαααα½αα―αααααΆα αααααααΆααααα‘αΆαααα·ααααααααααΈαα»αα²ααααα»αααααααΆαααααα’ααααΈα α·ααα αα·αα αΆαααΆα αααΆααααΆαα αα·αα ααα αΆααααααα αα·ααΆαα αααΎαα αΎα ααααααΆααααα ααααααΆααα’αααααΆααα’ααααααΆααΆ αααα»ααα½αααΈαα·α αα½αααΆαααΎαα α·αααααα½αα’αΆαααααααααα‘αΆαααα αα»αααααΆαα’ααααααααΆααΎαααααααααΉαααααα αΆα’αΈ αααααα’αΆαααααααααααΆα’αΆαααααααα·ααα ααΆααααααααΆααααα α To be loved is one thing. To be able to give that feeling to someone else is another. It's neither an embarrassment or a punishment. It's a feeling that should be cherished. I hope you all will be able to find someone who loves you and especially, find the feeling of loving someone truly. Love has no limits <3
When I was a kid I wanted to marry my dad when I grow up. In my eyes, he was the ideal husband. Growing up to an adult now I am, it's been 1 year since I last talked with my dad. All of the experience I witnessed from hurting my mom to verbally abused my mental health, I grew apart and swear to myself I will never meet anyone like my dad. It's probably affect to my relationship life because I somehow ended up taking a bare minimum to feel loved. I somehow fool myself that it was love while instead it wasnt even close to love. I have a daddy issue and I afraid that I no longer looking in love in a man or knowing what I deserve more in love.
I am the owner of #KJ0002. Time sure flies, we no longer text even though he knew I always wait for his texts and notifications. Even after he unblock me, he is not following back my ig and is no longer a friend in FB as well. But whenever I miss him and I post a story, he was always my first viewer to view it. Not until he decided to post another video @ his TikTok which is a very scary place that everything started between us. My tears just fall like an idiot with the little hope "Do I ever cross your mind when you see that video of yours"? It just hits me so hard because every movement everything that happens is still fresh in my mind, his voice still echoing in my ears, his smell still sticking to my nose, his kiss still warming my lips, our adultery stuff which I gave him out of my pure love for him still crawling back to my brain and it's torturing my every breathes. He is living his best life right now, while I am suffering from tears every single second because of him. Fools will eventually die from its stupidity? He once promised me to not let my tears drop because of him, one of my best friends also reminded me about the red flags since day 1 but I refuse to do so and mess with him. Up until this moment, the very first time that he's not viewing my story yet asking him whether Do I cross his mind or not at least once when he posts that place which has taken a huge place in my heart. I even get more clowning myself by commenting on that TikTok's video of him "what a nice view" and he just replied immediately, I think I knew now maybe my ig dm with him finally went rock bottom since he's stick to his phone 24/7. I am now waiting for him on my birthday which we suppose to meet again but somehow I made him mad at me and I don't know what is going to happen on my birthday, whether he shows up or not? I am still waiting, Little does he know my tears are now competing to drop without any hesitation. I am dying from time to time, I am living to his "air promises" I look back at our chat in the good old days that he told me to stick to 3 meals a day, stay hydrated, stay positive, and stay calm. I really want to turn back time to that night the 2nd sleepover with him. I left many unspoken words that I want to say in front of him. Seems like now I have no longer chance to meet him now. I can say now I have officially become a slave of him for him. I no longer can control my emotion as well as my body which I gave him all without anything left. He feels like home to me, now that he is gone? What can I do? I can only pray to god, trying my best to wait for him which is impossible but it is out of my control that's the only thing I could do to calm my mind. What should I do right now? The more I try to erase every moment I have with him, the more it is haunting me. How many tears must I shed, how many times must I cry? How many tears must I use for him to take pity on me? I am fighting my worst battle with myself right now. I told myself to be happy because my birthday is coming up in just a week. I have never broken someone's heart since I was born, why now am getting this treatment from someone I loved wholeheartedly? I felt bad for 3 people that I kept repeating find good points in him and kept on venting to them about the same cycle. Thanks to them that at least they listen to my whole story which I still can't forgive myself for the mess I created. I hope I can smile for my birthday this year, I am getting old but seems like I'm still childish when it's come to him. I am still hoping he remembers that this birthday boy is in a week, even it is not impossible but I am still waiting for the impossible to happen. Sorry for my broken English.
How are you doing ?? You have been so silent. Donβt you even miss me ?? What do you say ?? But fuck you, you leave me worried and not even fucking let me hear out a word.