A normal man
I tired of everything now. I always try my best to be perfect and accepted by everyone. But now I just tired and don't want to do anything.
I lost my friend several months ago. she was someone I talked to every day and even asked for advice. and we met when we’re studying in Australia. It still feels unreal every time I see her photos with a smiley face, I still have difficulty believing she’d do it. how can a girl who is always smiling dealing with mental illness and nobody knows about it. There were no warning signs. she is a person I wished I could be more like (not jealousy, I’m just admire her). Happy, creative, smart, perfect family status, beautiful smiles. Always upbeat and looking out for others. She texted me a day earlier before it happened. I should’ve talked to her that day a little more…why didn’t I. The way it happened was shocking. I still wonder if I could have helped her that day. It's almost like it never happened because it just doesn't seem real, it was so unexpected. As I'm typing this its just actually hitting me again that she is really gone. but looking back, yeah, there were some signs because I accidentally saw her searching about medicine but she said it was just research projects. the guilt in my guts is overwhelming. I also noticed that she was extremely exhausted and kinda isolated herself from anyone earlier that month but I was pretty naive on top of that. It really bothers me now, because she was obviously giving some signs but I was too stupid to realize what was going on. I LOVE YOU, S P.S If someone is popping up in your mind while reading this please don’t ignore them and checking on them every chance you get as the last chance you will ever have may have been yesterday. Be there when you can. Even if its just checking up on someone. If you care about someone, let them know. If someone reaches out to you, even a little... be there for them. You never know when they are in their final moment of desperation. Not everyone will have the same signs. Some won’t have any at all. If you suspect something at all... just let them know you care and that if they ever need to talk, that you are there for them. That they are never a burden, not to you. Even if they never open up to you, just hearing that can make a world of difference. And if you are struggling yourself, please open up to someone. Anyone. Even if its someone you don't know that well. There is nothing wrong if you’re going to met therapist.
I tired of everything now. I always try my best to be perfect and accepted by everyone. But now I just tired and don't want to do anything.
Even the title is “ Our Story “ but you have no idea about it. I wrote it my own , you are the main lead who, the main actress which is me fell in love with every piece of mine whereas you don’t know you are the main lead who the main actress adore so much. No matter how cold or heartless you’ve been to her. You mean a lot to her and for you , we just mean to meet. I was a barely page in your book but you filled every space in mine. This is the end of the story that never start but here I am still admiring you from far apart.
When the relationship was new and your partner alr said “if yerng ot trov knea kit Mex” instead of mean rerng ey should communicate and solve the problems. Saw many red flags since the start but I just went with the flow now it’s really hurtful. Shouldn’t have played with fire :)
Not a broken heart story, but I grew up in the most Asian household. I am one of the grandsons of my mother's side of the family. I am in my 20s, I go to one of the famous Uni in the country, but that's not where I belong I was forced to study there. OKAY here's where I started to feel UNFAIR. In my family, I am the chef, The Technician, The plumber, The electrician, The Accountant, I do almost everything. And it was underappreciated. Because not only I didn't get any appreciation, I even got scold and blame for not doing what they want. The most F up thing is I have to accompany my friend until late at night and I also have to wake up at 6 every morning even on weekend. What's worst is that I have to cancel all the plans on my birthday just to stay at home to do nothing because they said so. I was so depressed I tried to kill myself several time, and now I don't even feel pain because I lived with it. Bonus: I got nothing on my birthday, even a cake XD
29 Jan 2022, I saw her... It's been months since we last talked. A lot of things happened but memories of us still sculpted in my mind. I know that was solely my fault for pushing you so faraway that you and I have no idea how we could go back to the old us. It's ridiculous to say but despite my cold acts, I desperately want you to be mine although it's seemingly impossible. Being the third-wheel isn't my thing and me being a cheater would definitely out of the question. (Hey audiences, I know this sounds confusing. Lemme explain this, we both have our own partner) I don't know how to put this into word - the reasons why I chose to leave. However, I guess that was not a very bad decision I made, at least not to you. We both can focus on our own relationship. I'm so glad that you still can go on without my presence and be happy with your significant other and friends. You know what? I've been trying so hard to get you out of my mine. Countless attempts have passed, this time I admit that I failed... especially today. I was riding back home, listening to random songs on YouTube and thinking of you like I always do, and imagining how I would react and what I should say when we get to meet again... "the smell of you is way too much, not gonna put my heart through that... where did we go wrong? I know we started out alright" I was stunned. You were in front of me. Like 2m apart. You had your fav jacket on, the one that I tried to steal because you said your confidence dropped without this jacket. I saw some foods hanging on the hook which I thought that was for your mom because that's what you always did when we went back home after our unofficial date -- buying some foods home for your mama. I slowed down. My heart skipped a beat. That was unexpected, the person I'm thinking of and haven't talked to for months suddenly appeared in front of me, at the moment when our fav song played. I was stumbling, trying to figure out what I should do. Yet, nothing was done... Stupid, wasn't I? "Lately I've been someone and it ain't myself I'm spending all my time on somebody else I'm feeling all these feelings I don't understand You're the one good thing I ain't questioning Like ohh, if I knew that it would kill me I would still be there a thousand times over" This song came up next while I was secretly following her on her way back home. She rode too fast, without her helmet on (this girl is making me worried again). I really wanted to do something but I was not ready for this unexpected reunion. Finally, we seperated, not knowing when we'll officially meet again... même si je sais que je le regretterai plus tard. __________________ Hey, please take a good care of yourself. Untill we meet again. That time, I will be the one who comes to you first like when we first met :) though it might take some times, probably 2-3 years since I'll be going somewhere farway, but I promise I'll be back to pickup where we left off. Last but not least, be happy, even without me... and... I hope you think about me the way I think about you. And yes, it was enchanting to meet you :)
I knew all along that you probably hate me but I never realize you would hate me that much. I'm sorry for still thinking of you after all these years. Just so you know, it was never easy for me and I suffered just as much as you did. Years passed, I thought we're on good term and that's why I always have a soft spot for you but I was wrong after all. I'm sorry; I'll never leave a trace of me anywhere in your life anymore. Live well and be happy !
Let me tell you a story of how a rejection has given a really great plan for business. On Oct 31st, I confessed to my Leo crush using a tik tok video which somehow made him guilty of trying to come up with a rejection. Actually no I didn’t try to confess. I was just guilt tripping him cuz cmon I’ve been saying I liked him for several times. Later that night, we called and talked about it. I told him that I actually lost feelings long ago and what I did was just guilt tripping you for rejecting me duhh. Later later that night, a brilliant plan came to mind since you know I will be doing my business plan for final and stuff. Guess what came to my mind!!!!! A Dating App 😭😭 Not your typical dating app like Tinder. Trust me it’s good 🥳😉 Lady and Gentlemen, let me introduce you to Syncnetic. A dating app that allows you to find your compatible partner through your personality trait and your zodiac sign. Beside these, you get to rent-a-partner 🌚 I found rent-a-partner really trendy in China and Japan. So why not Cambodia Lahhhhhh 😂😂 Go Get Syncnetic now!!!! Syncnetic. “Together like magnet” 😉 And that is how rejection helps me come up with stupid sh*t 🌚🌚🌚🌚
I can say that i’m a girl who comes from one of the most honorable family. i have everything but love...? All i want is a man who loves me as who i am and not take me for granted, not take me for advantage especially not loving me for my money? All the boys that came into my life only saw my status, they thought it was cool to have me as an ex. And for those who have a crush on me, always say “ you’re like a moon and i’m just a rabbit” why cant you see me as a normal person? We’re all equal? I just want a love that lasts, i just want a good man to stick by my side through thick and thin, forget about the status and wealth. I’ve always been unlucky in love and friendship. I just want a pure bond, i never see myself above everyone, and i’m willing to take down my wealth if it’s a wall that part us.