Commitment
What if they say they love you too but they don’t want commitment for now?
29 Jan 2022, I saw her... It's been months since we last talked. A lot of things happened but memories of us still sculpted in my mind. I know that was solely my fault for pushing you so faraway that you and I have no idea how we could go back to the old us. It's ridiculous to say but despite my cold acts, I desperately want you to be mine although it's seemingly impossible. Being the third-wheel isn't my thing and me being a cheater would definitely out of the question. (Hey audiences, I know this sounds confusing. Lemme explain this, we both have our own partner) I don't know how to put this into word - the reasons why I chose to leave. However, I guess that was not a very bad decision I made, at least not to you. We both can focus on our own relationship. I'm so glad that you still can go on without my presence and be happy with your significant other and friends. You know what? I've been trying so hard to get you out of my mine. Countless attempts have passed, this time I admit that I failed... especially today. I was riding back home, listening to random songs on YouTube and thinking of you like I always do, and imagining how I would react and what I should say when we get to meet again... "the smell of you is way too much, not gonna put my heart through that... where did we go wrong? I know we started out alright" I was stunned. You were in front of me. Like 2m apart. You had your fav jacket on, the one that I tried to steal because you said your confidence dropped without this jacket. I saw some foods hanging on the hook which I thought that was for your mom because that's what you always did when we went back home after our unofficial date -- buying some foods home for your mama. I slowed down. My heart skipped a beat. That was unexpected, the person I'm thinking of and haven't talked to for months suddenly appeared in front of me, at the moment when our fav song played. I was stumbling, trying to figure out what I should do. Yet, nothing was done... Stupid, wasn't I? "Lately I've been someone and it ain't myself I'm spending all my time on somebody else I'm feeling all these feelings I don't understand You're the one good thing I ain't questioning Like ohh, if I knew that it would kill me I would still be there a thousand times over" This song came up next while I was secretly following her on her way back home. She rode too fast, without her helmet on (this girl is making me worried again). I really wanted to do something but I was not ready for this unexpected reunion. Finally, we seperated, not knowing when we'll officially meet again... même si je sais que je le regretterai plus tard. __________________ Hey, please take a good care of yourself. Untill we meet again. That time, I will be the one who comes to you first like when we first met :) though it might take some times, probably 2-3 years since I'll be going somewhere farway, but I promise I'll be back to pickup where we left off. Last but not least, be happy, even without me... and... I hope you think about me the way I think about you. And yes, it was enchanting to meet you :)
What if they say they love you too but they don’t want commitment for now?
I have been through almost what life could have put me through, but dealing with the family members, are really the tough one. I wish we could have been warmer. Wish you were here with me, my dear sister.
... but could never have. We met around the end of 2016. Our first interaction is still somewhat feels recent to me. I bet you don’t know, but you always have a special place in my heart ever since the first day we met. Knowing you is a true blessing for me. We met in high school and then continued to go on same university. At first, I didn’t really like you that much. But, strangely enough, you’re always there whenever I face problems. You helped me, you supportEd me. You were just being you, the kind and supportive you. It was me that took it the other way around. You know, I grown up with no many affection or love. So, when anyone do me good, I get attached easily. However, all of this liking you alone thing is hard for me. It’s been five years already. I think I’ve got enough now. I should move on. That’s why I changed shift to have space from you. Because, I don’t think I can move on if I just sit there and see you almost everyday like that. It’s been months since we last met. Even though you’ve never contacted me; from time to time, I still think of you and try to talk to you. I can’t say that I’m completely moved on from you. But, I can say I’m doing well in moving on. So here is a short message for you: be happy and healthy. Goodbye, my five-years love:) #myfatThor
Why don't you just say it if you no longer want to talk. It hurts me but It’s probably easier for either of us and you have to leave me alone and waiting for your replies for hours or even days. It’s so exhausted to question my own worth. Just spill it out and let’s move on.
Lately, I realize that we all have done ignoring the “bad stuff” in the person who shattered our hearts in pieces again and again because we loved them and at the same time, we all are ignoring the sweetest people in our life to keep that person. To that sweetest person, you know what I’m regretting doing? I regret that I ignored you. Yet deep inside, I wish that I met you first. Imagine how good it would be? I sound selfish, I know but it could have been You and I. Not everyone will have a happy ending, sometimes it ended just like those Hong Kong movies. WE ALL DIED IN THE END.
Hmmm That’s my last text Sorry i knew that I’ve hurt u million times Sorry we can’t be back tgt Sorry cause my guilt are too big I can’t let u forgive me easily. Sorry that I made your day become the worst after your whole tiring both physically and mentally Sorry that I turned u down again and again Sorry that I can’t hold u long enough Sorry that I disappointed u Sorry I’m too selfish that I always want to be ur friend again Sorry I’m too selfish that I don’t want to be with u but I also don’t want u to be with someone else !!!! Billion sorry that I wanted to tell u but I can’t. I still love u however I have done enough to deal with my imaginable problem and I can’t share it with u. I can’t hold u any longer. Sorry my mental issue gonna hit me up again if I stay in relationship. Sorry that I made u become a drunk, stress, toxic person for the last 3 months. I’m sorry even we back tgt we still not the same since I’ve changed. I’m not the girl that u love anymore. Still Loving u was like a dream, a dream that i would never want to wake up Anyway hope u and her get along tgt. I hope that she will give u all the love that u deserve to receive. Hope that she treat u right. Hope that she’s the one that u’ve been searching for. ❤️💛
It’s been 2 years since your passing, but every time i went back to our convo i can’t seem to let go. I miss you so much, i wish you were here with me.
I'm scared because if no one makes me feel the way you did. but I'll be ok for a few days but then it hits me, I stop functioning and everything falls apart again. What hurts is that we never really said goodbye. We just kind of ended. And I'm afraid I'll miss you forever. But then again, you didn't say goodbye, and a part of me believes that means you're coming back.