Should’ve known earlier
I thought I was special. Maybe not to anyone but to you in specifically and yet she was the one that you always have and going to choose. I have nothing to complain tho but it still strings me ‘til these days.
I knew all along that you probably hate me but I never realize you would hate me that much. I'm sorry for still thinking of you after all these years. Just so you know, it was never easy for me and I suffered just as much as you did. Years passed, I thought we're on good term and that's why I always have a soft spot for you but I was wrong after all. I'm sorry; I'll never leave a trace of me anywhere in your life anymore. Live well and be happy !
I thought I was special. Maybe not to anyone but to you in specifically and yet she was the one that you always have and going to choose. I have nothing to complain tho but it still strings me ‘til these days.
Sometimes you really love a person eventho they have done bad things to you and Sometimes you've been holding on to it for so long that you forgot yourself. That you've lost the value of your worth, I know it struggling sometimes to hold on to something that you are trying so hard, But if it hurts you, you also have to let it go. There's no point of holding on to it, it will only eat you up and keep you insecure. I am a guy who's badly devastated by a few person who did the same thing to me over and over. I'm the one who is trying to hard to keep things like before, eventho i know so damn well that it's not gonna work out for both of us. Coming home from work getting to talk to your favorite person, yet that person doesn't seem to care at all, cold replies, short text, late replies. I kept convincing myself that it's probably just one of her bad day. But that's when i realized that bad days doesn't goes on for 4 months straight. I tried talking about it, one week, ONE WEEK, everything is back to square one, cold replies, short text, late replies. That's when i started asking myself "What am i holding on for?", "Was it love?", "Was it that i've stayed with that person for so long that i can't live without them?", "Was it the time we spent together that i don't wanna let it all goes to waste?", "Was it to the point that staying with that person is apart of my habit?". Those are all the questions that keeps popping in my head. I've lost pieces of myself staying with that person without realizing it until it was too late for me and now I'm lost, i couldn't find myself anymore. I've lost myself trying to be with you.
Hey, I don’t know whether you’ll see this but I hope you won’t. Anyway, I just found out that u muted me on social media when I did literally nothing to you. Why ? I just completely on my own space but when I found out about it, my heart just break into pieces. I don’t know who am I to you, whether I’m annoying to u or else. I’m completely not okay as you muted me and treat me this way. I cherished our friendship so much we’ve been friends for many years, we spent our wonderful teenager life together. I remember I had you, and u know u had me too. It’s just a friendship they said, but to me it’s a really pure and beautiful one I had with you but since you did this to me I might be somehow annoy u therefore, I will no longer post or share anything on social media… so if u see this it’s up to u whether u want to unfollow or block me whatever makes you happy but remember one thing, as I figured it out I can’t stop myself from crying as I don’t know that is how u treat me as friend for years, as someone who used to comfort, help, and yeah u helped me a lot too. We shared tons of memories and it left me heartbroken and speechless of how 2years of miscommunication lead us to this. You know I have trust issues when it comes to love but thanks to you now I have trust issue in friendship too. Good luck!!!
I was interested in him. I found his Instagram and I just clicked follow ‘cause I wanted to stalk him. Once, he had reacted on my story, then he replied to my story. We started talking to each other since that day. We’ve met 4times in person. We have a good connection. We keep contacting, checking up and talking to each other almost every day and night. We become more closer and closer. We’ve been knowing each other for 7months and we decided to go on date. We have a road trip. We created so many good memories together. There’s nothing between us. But when we were together, our action is more than a couple. I fall for him since the day we dated. But I keep it in mind ‘cause I’m not sure if he feel the same. I just play along day by day. One day, I decided to make the first move, I express all my feeling to him. I confessed to him. But… sadly, I got reject. So I choose to walk out and move on. BUT! He didn’t let me go! That’s the point!! He once said that we can’t be in a relationship. Also, we can’t end up. He tryna fix it. I muted and ignored all his social media but he keep contacting me everyday. Until today, he still ghosting me. I don’t really know what kind of relationship is this. I just wanna walk out and move on with peace. I don’t wanna waste each other time. I’m so tired of staying in this kind of situation. In the end, we’re not friend. Not a couple. We both just a stranger that used to have good memories. But please, let me go…
Please don't ever come back to me when I finally forgot you and has moved on. Please don't let me experience all the pain again. Please don't ever mess up my life again.
I hope you doing well my little Seth. I miss you so so bad. I miss the way we talked. I miss how lovely you are to me. I miss how gentle you are. I miss the way you called me my little Junn, Junn Junn, baby Junn... and I also miss your questions, are you tired? where are you now? what are you doin? have you eaten?... Even though we met by online but i admit that i like you for real. and yeahh, if we are meant to be, we will meet each other again someday. Please be safe, take careeeee, get some rest and dont forget to drink water a lot naaaaa. Sethh San, Anata ga koishī.
I’ve been isolating myself from everyone for awhile now. I avoid meeting ppl, I don’t pick up calls or reply any chat from anyone, I put my phone on airplane mode everyday. To those who knows me, will know how normal it is for me to disappear every now and then. But this time I took a long break, I don’t know if ppl around me will be patient enough to deal with this break. I have this one habit of disappearing when things get tough and refuse to ask for help from anyone or showing my vulnerability to ppl. Things get tough lately to the point that everything become overwhelming to me, I can’t complete any task, I can’t even take care of myself. I used to be an achiever, a person who dream big and thrive for everything in life, want to do this and that, but things often take the wrong turn, then I failed from time to time, which leads me to choose on a plan B (which I’m not very fond of). Time goes by, I feel like I’m shifting further away from my dream, I’m forcing myself to do the thing that I don’t want to do, I feel like everything I do is just for the sake of existing, I don’t feel like I have a life anymore. Sometimes I just wish I have the power to erase myself from ppl memories, I just want them to forget about me so that I can end my life peacefully. I don’t want to carry remembrance, remorse, or sorrow to my after life. But that’s physically impossible. Sometimes I wonder what if I move away as far as possible, disconnecting from ppl until one day they forget who I was and start working on myself again until I’m in a good state and come back like nothing happened, will they still accept me? Will that make everything better? I feel bad yet grateful for those who often trying to help or checking up on me once in a while when they notice I’m not okay, I just want to say sorry for ignoring u but thanks for ur patience. It might look like I’m disregard ur empathy, but I just wanted u to know that I appreciate that a lot, even though I don’t say it and I value ur time, effort and everything. Just for the quick update for those who asking me ‘How’s thing? How’s life?’, not so good, but I’m thriving and doing my best to get by. Just for now, I need a break, a long big break from everything. I can’t continue at a stage like this. I’ve been building bad performance at school, at work and every task that I attempted to do. Therefore, I quit school, quit work, avoid any social social interaction at all cost. There’s just me and me atm. No I don’t have plan or know what to do next anymore. I’m just working on my inner me. Hoping I’ll be okay again very soon. So pls be patient with me, don’t give up on me just yet, I’ll be back…
Although my ex-boyfriend cheated on me , I’ve learned to move on without having anyone new. Deep down inside, this process is literally miserable since he’s the only one on my mind. After 2 months of breakup, I can say i don’t utterly heal from this heartbreak , but my inner wound has been gradually healing day by day to the point where I finally say I’m better off without him . To all the heart-broken girls out there, don’t pressure yourself. Moving on is not easy as some people say , but one day, pain that you have tried to handle will be finally withdrawn. Embrace yourself as much as possible. Self-love is a must.