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Dating suppose to be people being in love with each other but for me it’s different, i’ve been in multiple relationships and its always just them giving and showing me love and affection while i’ve never actually fallen in love with them. Doesn’t mean that i don’t love them, i do but i don’t feel the spark or the exciting feeling when i’m with them. And i never get jealous maybe it’s because i’m not in love with them that’s why i never feel jealous over anything.
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Hi, actually I don’t know where to start it such a long story and complex mind to describe it out. I confess here today just want to seek for the answer : “ AM I ACTUALLY A FAKE FRIEND HERE “ I’m a girl who has a circle of friends, but only 2 I count as the dearest to me since I can trust them. But there’s also another one friend who I luv as well it just that we had so many things that’s not compatible with each other and I don’t share her my secret. Let’s called her Angel. Even though I never tell her my secret but I swear I never want to hurt or dislike her in anyway. But the thing is that she counts me as her closest friend, she told me. But I don’t quite understand her and I feel bad for that as well. Why I don’t trust her?! Actually we know each other 14yrs already. She’s that type of person who talked about how she feel mad and upset about a person and within a minute she see them she smile and wave Hi as nothing happened. And yes, as the listener I feel guilt. And that’s one of the things I’m scare to trust her. Btw Angel is also such a sweet person tho, she always made gift to our classmates. But the things is she’s an over thinker and always upset. She upset because I hang out with one of my friends without her. But actually she always hang out with her friends as well and I never say anything. She’s also that type of person who would say “ I’m not a talker, I’m a thinker” but every time she always share about sad stuff and friends things with such a caption that made me think she talked about me or other friends by writing the caption with “ They this They that” ( I don’t just pick the shoes and wear it as Cinderella here don’t get me wrong she just throw it towards me) I myself never like to put myself in such a complicating situation. But she just share another post with the caption as if she always happy for me and I never happy for her. As if I’m a fake friend here. And I cmt on her post like the response is just as “ I know u talked abt me “ and u guess what after the beef at the cmt she text me and ask me to hang out with her like nothing happened. That’s all, actually I feel like I’m also in the wrong here myself. It would be such a pleasure if u guy can give me some advice
Just as close as a family she said... So us having something secretive behind the group is considered a betrayal. Him being uncomfortable talking about it and is still unsure about me, her pushing me to tell everyone as soon as possible, so we can discuss about it with the group because what me and him are doing is considered to be more than sinful. Following her, will lose me him. Following him, will lose me her. Leave it as it is and we will all lose each other. And me being in the middle of it, makes it easier for me to blame it all on myself when I can't even fully understand what it's turning into. I love them so much, I love everyone so much. But can I just have a bit more time, "Her"? And can you give us a chance to try it in a different way , "him"? I know I'm so "immature" to you guys but trust me a little, will you? Because I'm so close to end me for the sake of everyone.
sorry for asking you for take a break from you for awhile , but doesn't i stop loving you or i stop care about . I want to text you daily asking how was your day ? did you eat ? we both missunderstanding sometime , sorry for telling you that i'm tired , I do tired how to make thing right for you and it make myself feel so dump everytime we fight about that . i knew the world is so hard for you and i want to be your safe place enough that you can take a rest with me I hope you understand about that i gave you everything sorry for take care of me i'm love you still . I'm glad see you smile from a far . I MISS US
It’s easy to find someone who is pretty, rich, smart, smell good, nice figures, doll-like face, academic success, business oriented mind, hard working, considerate, helpful, charming, unbeatable spirit, sassy and down to earth. But at the end of the day IT IS NOT YOU. I drive down all different roads but they all lead back to you and I am sorry to everyone who came across me all of these time at the end i tried to turn you guys into her and I failed pathetically. So for one last time I know i came back way too late to you, too late to realize that no one will ever be able to be like you, too late to realize what we used to have is a the only and last genuine thing in my life. please make this work even I have to made a deal with a devil. Because at the end of the day everyone gonna hurt me Atleast I want the blade that stabs me to be yours. I love you I hope the alternate version of us would never go through the same hell we did ❤️
Write tang sunday title : me and her, the never ending circle.
There are many men out there in this world Surly I haven’t met all kinds of men yet. I have found my type but I don’t see that type in many men yet. So why am I rushing myself into this? And the only question that keep running in my mind is Why HIM?- yes, I want him and I love him I can see myself that I’m not crazily fall in love with him which I used to but I can’t live without him as well. I hate that’s the person I’m in love right now is him cuz I know we can’t be more than just FRIENDS. From all these months we’ve been messaging, calling, are all caring as friends? Or more than that? YES, we flirted for fun but I can’t believe I’m the one who lost in this game that we both started. It seemed unfair to me, how can he sleep peacefully every single nights without feeling anything while I couldn’t sleep properly because my mind is thinking about him. The happiness feeling which made me feel so loved, special, the smile that I wear on my face while facing my phone’s screen, feeling someone is giving me the best comfort or comfortable hug which I thought it was gone and never comes back suddenly comes into my life. All because of who? - it’s HIM I hate how biggest role play he plays in my life without realizing anything.. like nth until I can’t lost him. I hate how his sweet words and action melt my heart into water. I hate how I am to him like an open book but for me I can’t even read his mind a bit I hate how every songs I’m listening to is always remind me about him. I hate how many articles I have read always related to our situation. I hate when I know we can’t be more than this and how many times I try to stop myself to fall for him but end up losing I hate how today he treated me like I’m a queen then tmr I’m just someone simple to him. Is it because of me? Am I the only one who fall for my own dream? Does he ever feel the way I do too? Is it my fault? Should I make a first move to get the answer or take a step back ? But HE- he’s really the one who I got inspired these days. Never ever I got/ know a man who can give me this positive energy before. They told me to finding a man who keep pushing you and making you improve for better. YES, I found that person, I found him but I can’t have him. I found someone who I’m about to lost in love way not friendship. The smile I have, all good feeling I have is from him but the painful feeling right now, a drop of smile on my face also because of him cuz I can’t feel that feeling anymore [ BABE ] I know we joke around calling each other like this. But I want us to keep calling each other like this as forever. One day someone will come into his life and replace me with this nickname, one day he’ll find his true [ BABE ] and takes care of his heart which I know that isn’t me but sometimes the little hope in my heart still think however I’m still here being happy for him to find somebody new and best for him. I miss him, miss the old vibe we used to be, am I being trapped by my own feelings/ game I have set for myself again? Having crush is ok and fun not until you truly love someone too much and for real. And for me this situation isn’t having a crush this what we called, right person wrong time. Or I can say right person wrong situation. I swear to myself that I won’t end up in this kind of love situation again but look? Why the boys that I fall in this situation always the nice guys. This situation is harder than having a crush on someone and the feeling I have for men in this situation is much much stronger and it just hits different. I still remembered how much time I had to move on from that old person, even after years he’s still the one who I remember and he lives free in my heart. And now look at who coming again. Same way, same feeling but this one is stronger. He actually being the same way as the old person. How he drives me crazy, how much he make me fall in love everyday. Are we gonna end our relationship like I did with that old person? By stop messaging anyone? It’s hurt. There’s only one thing both of them don’t have in common is everyone knows/ sus on me with old person but between me and him no one noticed it yet unless I told people.
I believe the first love is always the best feeling you have ever felt in your youth memories either it ends well or bad. Believe it or not, my first love experience has still hunted me until today. As of today, I still stuck seeing his rounded face facing with sunlight in my eyes and his soft voice in my both ears. Ever since I met him in high school, my life has changed completely. People said love is blind and I absolutely agree with that. Everyone was invisible to me whenever he showed up. I would lose my word whenever we started the conversation. My heart beated crazily when he came close to my body. My face would turn red in seconds when he called me by my name or oun eng. However, I was not the only one who wanted this man to be in my life, he was an apple in every girls’ eyes back to that year. His friendliness, caring, kindness, helpfulness, and bright smile make him had everyone attention. Thankfully, due to the class arrangement I got a chance to share a table with him for two wonderful years. Within that years, I witnessed the girls who tried to win his heart yet, he turned them all down. I had no answer to why he turned everyone down but I was so happy that I still have chance. Ever since we started studying together, I push myself to study harder and harder because he was one of an outstanding student and I was hoping that if I did well in my academic I would be noticed by him someday (the stupid me😂). I would never talk to him first until he started the conversation (I was shy 🙈) and our topic would be only about the academic. Thank to him even he noticed I felt uncomfortable with him around, he still tried his very best to make me felt better and help me out with our team work. He would tag me along to the part-time school and even brought me snack. There was a time that it was raining like dog and cat and he decided to owed me his jacket so I would still felt warm on my way back home. Yet, he was this good to everyone not only me that time and the only reason I was able to be treated spacial because I was his deskmate. Everything went too well that make me hopelessly falling deeper and deeper day to day. But because it went to well, I did not dare to confess because if I was turning down that time I would completely lose him and would have no another chance share some priceless like that moment. So I did my best in my study to be bold to him and would try to hide my feelings from him and even avoided seeing him sometimes. This was killing me yet also saving me from losing this man as well. Months went by and here come bacll time ( it was tough in 2017), we both were trying so hard and promise to do our best. With my effort, school and family support, also his mentally and academically support, I did it. I at least got a B while he had himself an A. I was so happy for him and it was the first time we share a hug and he put his hand on my head and should said ‘You ឯង ពូកែណាស់‘. That was a moment that I am proud of myself the most. Even I couldn’t accompany him to the award ceremony but I felt enough. I was now told by my 4years crush that I did great and even shared a happy moment with him. After bacll, we still chatted and discussed what should we do next and it was when I realized I cannot just run after him all the time I should also find my own goal and purpose. So he went for a university abroad and I registered for a local university and it’s also when we started fading away. As of today, we are now graduated and doing our dream job. We met serveral times this recent years. I am so happy to share my high memories with him and to have him as my first love even it was only me who in love. Thank to him and his support for me to become who I am today. As of today I am still regretting not able to confess my love to him back then and if I could turn back time I hope I least heard a bold yes or no from him, honestly. Even if this love was silly but I did feel love and it all ends well, thank 🤍. And of course I hope you would come across this message someday. Thank you for your memories. And guess what I already found my Mr. Right and even if he was not my first he will be the only one who going to walk me on the aisle after my father. I am now getting married to someone I love and I am sure he love me harder. Thank you my first love and you will be one of my best memories even after my wedding day. Thank for everything 🤍