Me and her, the never ending circle

It’s easy to find someone who is pretty, rich, smart, smell good, nice figures, doll-like face, academic success, business oriented mind, hard working, considerate, helpful, charming, unbeatable spirit, sassy and down to earth. But at the end of the day IT IS NOT YOU. I drive down all different roads but they all lead back to you and I am sorry to everyone who came across me all of these time at the end i tried to turn you guys into her and I failed pathetically. So for one last time I know i came back way too late to you, too late to realize that no one will ever be able to be like you, too late to realize what we used to have is a the only and last genuine thing in my life. please make this work even I have to made a deal with a devil. Because at the end of the day everyone gonna hurt me Atleast I want the blade that stabs me to be yours. I love you I hope the alternate version of us would never go through the same hell we did ❤️

Feeling bottled up?

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2025-08-14

How to say ''no''?

Sometimes it becomes pressure for me that I always need to say ''Yes'' to everything that my friends ask for. It's doesn't mean that I don't want to help them or whatever, but I feel really bad about it. They keep wanting me do whatever they want, I mean if they want that I HAVE TO do that for them, they always want me to do like that all the time, even I say ''I can't''. On the other hand, I still cannot say ''NO'' to them as well, whenever I say ''NO'' to them I always feel wrong but at the same time I feel pressure as well. I feel like sometimes they don't respect my decision. I swear I want to be a selfish person sometimes, I don't want to be a tool for anyone that can be using all the time like that, but I don't know HOW TO SAY NO. Tell me if i'm wrong.
2025-08-14

Wrong timing

Friends asked me do I like the guy I introduced to them before? My answer? Yes I do. Then does that guy like me? I guess so. Then why isnt it working? I don’t know if there is any specific right answer to it tbh. Maybe it just I’m not ready. Maybe Im still haunted by my past relationships. Or maybe I just feel like I’m not good enough for him. Or actually maybe it’s just wrong timing and it’s not working overall. We both tried our best, we both tried to give it a try again and again yet failed again and again too. I guess overall, we meant to know one another, like one another, has a chance to start it in which we blew it up, so after that no matter how many time we tried to bring it back it’s not working. Maybe this is really like “you only have one chance at love”. I like you still yet I guess it’s just not working. So just get over it and be happy, maybe not immediately but eventually, please be happy.

2025-08-14

Lany - 13

29 Jan 2022, I saw her... It's been months since we last talked. A lot of things happened but memories of us still sculpted in my mind. I know that was solely my fault for pushing you so faraway that you and I have no idea how we could go back to the old us. It's ridiculous to say but despite my cold acts, I desperately want you to be mine although it's seemingly impossible. Being the third-wheel isn't my thing and me being a cheater would definitely out of the question. (Hey audiences, I know this sounds confusing. Lemme explain this, we both have our own partner) I don't know how to put this into word - the reasons why I chose to leave. However, I guess that was not a very bad decision I made, at least not to you. We both can focus on our own relationship. I'm so glad that you still can go on without my presence and be happy with your significant other and friends. You know what? I've been trying so hard to get you out of my mine. Countless attempts have passed, this time I admit that I failed... especially today. I was riding back home, listening to random songs on YouTube and thinking of you like I always do, and imagining how I would react and what I should say when we get to meet again... "the smell of you is way too much, not gonna put my heart through that... where did we go wrong? I know we started out alright" I was stunned. You were in front of me. Like 2m apart. You had your fav jacket on, the one that I tried to steal because you said your confidence dropped without this jacket. I saw some foods hanging on the hook which I thought that was for your mom because that's what you always did when we went back home after our unofficial date -- buying some foods home for your mama. I slowed down. My heart skipped a beat. That was unexpected, the person I'm thinking of and haven't talked to for months suddenly appeared in front of me, at the moment when our fav song played. I was stumbling, trying to figure out what I should do. Yet, nothing was done... Stupid, wasn't I? "Lately I've been someone and it ain't myself I'm spending all my time on somebody else I'm feeling all these feelings I don't understand You're the one good thing I ain't questioning Like ohh, if I knew that it would kill me I would still be there a thousand times over" This song came up next while I was secretly following her on her way back home. She rode too fast, without her helmet on (this girl is making me worried again). I really wanted to do something but I was not ready for this unexpected reunion. Finally, we seperated, not knowing when we'll officially meet again... même si je sais que je le regretterai plus tard. __________________ Hey, please take a good care of yourself. Untill we meet again. That time, I will be the one who comes to you first like when we first met :) though it might take some times, probably 2-3 years since I'll be going somewhere farway, but I promise I'll be back to pickup where we left off. Last but not least, be happy, even without me... and... I hope you think about me the way I think about you. And yes, it was enchanting to meet you :)

2025-08-14

reassurance from u…maybe?

Hey, I don’t care about the distance and sht. I can wait, I’m willing to wait, be faithful and commit to this relationship. Checking up on u everyday, support u through hard time, leave u space when u need, be the most understanding gf. I don’t even mind being a convo starter all the fcking time, fast replier even tho u left me on delivered for half a day or even ghost me out of nowhere for quite a few days, b’cuz I understand that u’re busy. I don’t even mind that u’re not interested about what’s happening at my side or how’s my day going, having u reply to my text is all I ask for. But if this keeps going for a few more months and I see no more effort from u, I might just assumed that u grew out of this relationship but is afraid to ask for a break… idk what should I feel about this relationship…

2025-08-14

Stubborn

I'm mad about the waste that happens when people who love each other can't even bring themselves to talk.
2025-08-14

Mr. Leica

I know you don’t have such a feeling and thought about me like I do to you. Yet, I think you deserve to know that someone out there considers you’re special to her. I haven’t had feeling for anyone for years. Then you appeared and began messing up with my head. I don’t expect anything from you because I’ve been spending too much time alone that I’m not sure whether this is the feeling of “fall in love” or it’s just some entertaining feeling to my boring life. Besides, I’m not even capable of loving anyone, so I don’t want waste my time on this stupid and hopeless idea. Yet, I just want you to know that I really appreciate and cherish that one precious day you gave me. I hope you can find someone you truly love and return it back to you the same way. From now on, I’m going back to my world, and I just hope that you still consider me as a friend. —t.o.
2025-08-14

Don’t cross the line if you don’t want

Hey you ! Am I your brother or your toy? Sometime you make me feel like I am good as your brother, but sometime you mess it up like I am special to you. Hit me if you wanna cross the line before I consider accepting someone else !

2025-08-14

To that person who I met online,

To that person who I met online, I have no idea whether you will see this or not, but in case you get to read this, please know that this message is for you. I'm not brave enough to tell you directly, that's why I will just leave it here. It took me awhile to find out if I really like you or just a flash feeling I happen to have. I do like you and I fail to find a specific reason for it. Don't ask me for the reason because there is no such reason for liking someone. I clearly know that you don't have the same feeling as I do, that's why every time I got the chance to tell you, I simply said that they're all just the jokes. You have no idea that telling what's on my mind is one of my biggest insecurity but this time, I just want to be honest with my feeling for once. Even though we never met IRL, but I really appreciate your presence and I am so grateful to know you even though I don't know much about you. Thank you for being one of the nicest person I've known and helped me through my struggling day. I am lack in so many things, so I don't expect you to like me back. In case you know who I am, please don't be uncomfortable with me after reading this and I hope everything remains the same. I will try to move on silently and promise that I will never do or say such things that will cross our boundary. - From a girl who has social anxiety