Actually, I’m Jealous….

I would say that I’m a well reserved kid and always think it through before I take action. I’ve always thought that I’m strong enough to deal with all the problem. I’ve always thought that I am not jealous of anything or anyone around me. But, I realize I do care. I’m jealous that other family is having fun with their children. I’m jealous that their parents are always be there and give them the support. I’m jealous that others don’t have to deal with mental pressure. I’m jealous that things have never been well no matter how hard I try to fix. When will this end? I’m tired…..

Feeling bottled up?

Recommended Posts

2025-08-14

🤔

Women attract, they don’t chase. Why don’t men realize that a woman has many choices but she chose you so why don’t you treat her well? Why you treat her good only at the start? And then after some time she change you got all mad? Weren’t you the one who made her become like that if you treat her like how you first got her would she change?

2025-08-14

My precious Doggos

When I was younger, I had three dogs: two males: Jia and Zong and one female: Lin. Anyways, Jia always acted dominantly, and for years he would regularly beat up Zong to prove his dominance and superiority. Zong finally attacked Jia one day. His entire chest was torn up he barely survived surgery. A week later, his kidneys failed and he died. My dad was going to put him down, but he ended up giving him away instead. I never saw him again. I helped bury Jia, and while he was laying in a blanket as we dug Lin came and sat by his body. Two weeks later I woke to find her dead in her dog house, she had no visible signs of injury and had been healthy. She was buried by morning. It might not compare to other people's stories, "they're only dogs anyways", but it was really hard losing all three of my childhood dogs, friends I'd known my entire life, within a few weeks. I haven't cried ever since I buried Lin.

2025-08-14

Respect my boundaries.

A couple days ago I accidentally see my boyfriend’s liked video on TikTok and surprisingly that most of them are girls. He also followed them on instagram. I thought they’re his friends, classmates…but I as wrong. He saw them on TikTok and then started following them on instagram. To be clear, this isn’t about liking the pictures, it’s about the fact that I’ve asked him to stop. Clearly it crosses some boundary to me. He also told me that “ it’s not a big deal, I’m being insecure, every guys did that “. Does all the guys do the same ?? Following random girls on instagram after they have seen them on TikTok?? P.S we’ve been dating for a decent amount of time and I regretted that I checked his following on instagram just for a sake to break my heart…

2025-08-14

3years of us

We met at 2019 but now look at us , we’re just strangers with some memories . First I really want to be his girl best friend , but once upon a time I think I have feeling for him not just friend . I am distancing myself from someone I love. Until now I just can’t get you out of my mind . Thank you for being there for me when I needed you the most . 🫀

2025-08-14

What is this feeling

Can anyone tell me what is this feeling It been a long time since they broke the bond. We try to understand them and wish them all the best. However, seeing them with someone new, doing all the things that we should do together some how hurt. It like trauma, it hit right there in the heart, it got you tremble, feeling lost, all the hope we try to hold on are gone, almost down on the knee. I swear there is no hatred, there is no evil though to break them apart. It just feel like can’t stand seeing it, can’t accept it, bare to see it but Why it is someone else in that place? How could? Did we really do sth wrong? Were we never good enough for them? How could they just switch to do all the things with someone else while our heart still beat for them? Why do they treat us this way while our intention is only love and to be with them?

2025-08-14

In between

I could say I moved on, that’s why I’m here with my new relationship for 3 months. Last month was when my ex of 2 years has asked me if there’s a chance for us to be back tgt again. I told him and made things pretty clear with him that there’s no chance of us doing so, because I’m in a healthy relationship with my new bf. As I’m writing him to explain my feelings, I realized I’m not fully healed, it’s still hurting recalling the memory’s of us as I explaining, I still have a soft spot for him, he’s still a part of me. To ask whether I hate my ex after we broken up? I would say I don’t hate him not even one bit, I was just solely disappointed in him. Relationship with him was healthy, understanding, supportive, faithful and all, until earlier last year, when he made me thinks that the bare minimum was too much request in relationship. A part of the problem came from the environment that we’re surrounded with, everything’s started to change so did he, he became very arrogant, he used to be so supportive now every opinion of mine become invalid and he always listen to others before me. That’s when I feel miserable everyday being with him, things going on for months to the point I feel like I should leave and I did. He didn’t beg or anything he let me go and that’s when I also realized he may has lost his feeling for me and that I should work on myself. It’s been almost a year, I met someone new. To compare everything to him, my new bf is more like my dream ideal type, he asked to be his gf (possibly potential partner for the future, because we planned on our future and everything tgt, tho the duration seems pretty short) and I should say him and I get along just fine. It’s just this one thing, the amount of effort he put is way less than my ex when we’re in love. To put things in short, I don’t want to admit it but I must say that I’m almost like a chaser in this relationship even though he’s the one that asked me first. At some point, I also feel tired too, I wasn’t like this in my previous relationship, before everything changes, I was treated almost like a queen, never a day I ever feel like unwanted or lefted alone ever. That’s what I love the most out of previous relationships. As being with the new one, I feel like the Karmas do me good, now that everything my ex did for me, I’m doing it to my new bf without a return. I sometimes miss being treated by my ex, now that he came back and he changed a lot because of all the flaws that I explained to him before I ended the relationship making me miss him even more. Back to the question if I should go back to my previous relationship or should I moved on, I’m in a serious debate. My ex and I shared deeper connection than my new one, but I don’t want to give up on my new relationship just yet just because of my ex return, plus my new relationship is a long distance one, it’s unfair for him to compare things that my ex can possibly do just because he’s near me and was spending much longer time than my new one. I can’t just compare things. As for now I really don’t know what to do (I really need an anonymous consultation if anyone interested to help pls cmt, I’ll reach u out in anonymous acc)

2025-08-14

Karma

I was loved and treated right by my ex. It was my first relationship so I never realize how precious it was until I lost it. I wasn’t matured enough to accept the fact that long lasting relationship includes arguments, those boring days where we also get tired of one another, forgiving and stepping backwards. I left him because I was looking for my “ideal relationship” and ofc I found it. But I’m paying the price, the price is being a chaser and still got neglected. Now I truely understand how my ex felt and how tired he was from all the efforts that he made. Though I never admit this outside but I always think about it everyday. The reason that I won’t admit is not because of the ego, but because I have to hide my vulnerability so that everyone think that I finally found my perfect man and hoping that will help my ex to move on, because before we broke up, we made a promise to look out for one another and he told me that he won’t move on unless I’m happy with my relationship. But don’t get me wrong, I am happy in my relationship but it’s like a roller coaster, some days I’m on cloud 9, some days I feel all gloomy. If you’re happen to read this, I just want to apologize for mistreating you and thank you for all the love, efforts and valuable lessons you gave me. Though we don’t talk anymore, hope we’re still cool.

2025-08-14

Miserable life?

Your friend left me and let me live with anxiety, and you has the audacity to wishing me a miserable life? You should have know by now that your friend left me alone when I need her the most 🤣 I wish you and your friend live the best life you guys always dreamt of