Little crushyyy
Hi Manil, I know you won’t be able to see this message anyway but I kinda have a little crush on you and I’m still insecure about my look also my personality. You kinda deserved a sunshine types more than the grumpy ones like me. :)
Is my hint not clear enough or you are just not into me? Are we talking or you just replying my text? Are we gonna talk again if I don’t start the conversation? Do I ever cross your mind?
Hi Manil, I know you won’t be able to see this message anyway but I kinda have a little crush on you and I’m still insecure about my look also my personality. You kinda deserved a sunshine types more than the grumpy ones like me. :)
Maybe I don’t love them, maybe the feeling of being in relationship is just something that I want to do to fill my void. I go for one after another and it seems like the cycle repeats. They love me, I love them back, I got cheated, I tried to find another one to move on, got heart broken, and move on to another. At this point, I don’t even know if I’m searching for love or just processing the trauma.
What would you do if you found out you're just an alternative or a shadow to his ex? Do you feel hurt? Angry? Hatred? Because I do. It was not wrong to not love somebody. What's wrong is how you keep telling me how much you love me, then keep going back to your ex. What's wrong is how you told me to forget the past and start it all again, then betray me and do all those things again the next day. What's wrong is how you told me to put my heart into trusting you, but you're using my trust against me. You kept saying you love me, but that's not love. There's no way you can love me when you still keep everything from your past. There's no way you can love me when you can fall in love with another girl within a week. There's no way you can love me when you regret being with me and hope you have chosen her instead. The funny thing is, people hurt me, but I'm now the bad guy. I hope all those people who did me wrong, who invalidate my feeling, who blame me for reacting the way I did, will all get their karma very soon. I have all this rage in me because I'm the one that has been suffering. To the people that said that it was normal and I was the one that overreacting, I hope you will be treated like this for the rest of your life. I was never someone who hold a grudge and be so revengeful, anyone who knows me knows how I always forgive people, but not this time. I choose to heal in hell.
To you my priority, since the day you left, I’m certain that I’m not the same person as I used to be. I’m sure that my feeling right now isn’t okay and it hurts me the most. I wanted to let you know that, you’re the only one who made me know what love is, you’re the only one who made me feel warm and secure while I was with you, you’re the only one that my love for you is still the same since our first day until now, you’re the only one whom I have any plans for the future. All of the sacrifices, efforts, and times that I put in, I didn’t expect anything in return, other than your love and dedication. I did everything just to make you feel that you’re the only one that got all of those things from me, not everyone else. I did everything just to make you feel happy, warm, and comfortable. I’ve never stopped daydreaming about how I’m going to build my life, buy my first house, first car with you, and marry you one day. You know what? I see you every two weeks, and when I return home I feel as if I've lost something that no one or nothing can replace. I had the feeling that I was leaving something behind that would never come back. I miss you, I'm upset, I didn’t want to return home, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. You’re the only one, when I’m having fun and all I could think of is what if you were right here with me? I’d go on trips and while living in the moment, I allowed my imaginations to get ahead of me and I was able to picture you beside me and I got that feeling of “how nice would it be for you to be here with me”. To me, you’re perfect. To me, you’re beautiful as always in my eyes. I’m grateful you came into my life, I’m grateful for everything you’ve done for me. My love for you hasn't changed, and no one can take your place in my heart, my mind, and my brain. And I’m so sorry for what I’ve done to you. Sorry that I can’t keep you by my side. I’m still hoping everyday that you will come back to me again. You’re special to me. I’m so proud to have you in my life. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Your photo is still in my wallet, and your picture is still on my lock screen wallpaper. I wrote these letters with a song that I used to sing for you, When you’re home - Tyler Shaw. It’s 3AM now and I’m still thinking about you. I hope you will come back to me! #NL
កាលពីឆ្នាំ 2019 ខ្ញុំបានសុបិនឃើញមនុស្សម្នាក់ដែលខ្ញុំមិនធ្លាប់ស្គាល់សោះ ជួបគេនៅកន្លែងដែលមិនស្គាល់ដូចគ្នា!ក្នុងសុបិន្តនោះ គេមិនបង្ហាញមុខឲ្យខ្ញុំឃើញទេ គ្រាន់តែបែខ្នង... it's really strange, because I never dreamed anyone who I never know. ពេលនោះក៏មិនចាប់អារម្មណ៍ គ្រាន់តែគិតថា ប្រហែលអារម្មណ៍មកពីណាមិនដឹងដែលឲ្យសុបិនបែបនេះ។ ខ្ញុំក៏បំភ្លេចវាទៅ... តែថ្មីៗនេះ ចុងឆ្នាំ2021 ខ្ញុំបែរជាសុបិនម្ដងទៀត វាចម្លែកដូចគ្នា ឃើញមនុស្សម្នាក់ដែលមិនធ្លាប់ស្គាល់ តែលើកនេះឃើញគេពីចំហៀងវិញ...ពេលភ្ញាក់មក មិនចាប់អារម្មណ៍ខ្លាំងទេ! បន្ទាប់មកចាប់ផ្តើមគិត Why this dream really strange? Have I seen this person before?? ចម្លើយគឺជា ម្នាក់ដែលខ្ញុំសុបិនកាលពី ២ ឆ្នាំមុន! ( ខ្ញុំមិនច្បាស់ទេថាគេបាននិយាយអីឬអត់ តែកាយវិការដែលគេបង្ហាយ ខ្ញុំអាចដឹងបានថាគេកំពុងចាំ ហើយឲ្យខ្ញុំចាំដូចគ្នា!) ខ្ញុំមិនដឹងថាវាពិតឬអត់ ហើយអ្នកទាំងអស់គ្នាជឿឬអត់ទេ តែខ្ញុំគ្រាន់តែគិតថាខ្ញុំនឹងជួបគេថ្ងៃណាមួយ! To that person : " Waiting " is the word that reminded me every day. No matter what, no matter where and who u are, if both dreams are real, I wish to see u. However, when that time comes u have someone or don't I'm still waiting. Just want to see u is enough!! Remember me! I'm still waiting u...!
We’ve known each other for quite some times now. It’s no surprise to say we’re more than friends. We share secrets that we once promised ourselves to never disclose it ever, we rode to places together, we’ve gone to see the movies together, we hugged each other when we slept together (nothing sexual lmao just sleep), and there are tons of things that we have done together which to me are memorable. But I slowly came to realize that I am not that important to you as I thought I am. I’ve been striving for this alone while you were free riding this whole time. I tried to hold you tight while you didn’t even try. I shared my happiness/sadness with you while you laugh/cry alone. I’ve been fooled all these times. I was never an important person to you. I’m merely a friend. So why should I keep trying?
Everytime I see a couple, I start wondering is it just me who never had good fate in love? How do people got in love so easily, how lucky are they to be around someone they love. Look at me, I never had a chance to be in that position, I wasnt able to imagine what its like to be in their shoes. Everytime I start to commit in a relationship, all the experience I got are rejection, betrayal and ghosting. Those experiences scare me. Every time I want to commit in a relationship, my memory flashback and little voice in my head keep telling me: "keep it for yourself, love is not made for you." I hate it so much. I just want to be normal 😪
It hurts right? Turning from the happy, joyful and socialize person to the one who try to hide and isolate himself from everyone. I kept having mental breakdown when I’m alone in the dark room. Hope it gets better soon.