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These 3 years not a single day where i wish we would end up tgt but the more i held on to u the more i realized i never meant to be in ur life so i gave up
(I have wrote my first sentence and deleted it so many times, I lost count. So here goes nothing.) ....When we first met, I had no idea how much you could mean to me. You stayed when I needed you most, you told me I'm loved, and you held my hands through one of the hardest times in my life. But my heart shattered when I say, it was a false start to my cruel fairytale. You have made me surrendered, I gave you my all. I had never felt so deeply for anyone, and you knew how to make me fell for you. Maybe my love spoiled you, because darling you have changed. From the woman who could no wrong, to your worst enemy. It could be the day I breathed the wrong way, asked you the wrong question, said what you did upset me, asking too many questions. Those things made you reset me. Am I to walk on eggshells around you if we want to be together? Am I just to be the person you pick up the phone whenever you feel like calling? Am I to be the one you apologize and make amends? Am I the one to always be dealt a lower hand? Is it wrong to want to feel loved my the person you feel so deeply for? Is it wrong to want your partner to care about you? Is it wrong to not want to be ignored for hours? I never regretted the love I gave you. But my biggest regret was I had convinced myself that you cared for months. I let it continued when I knew there was no way I can live with this forever. I used to think that having you smiling at me a few times was better than none. Having you for an hour to myself was better than not talking to you at all. How it broke my heart to admit the truth today, you had no idea how much you hurt me. I wonder if you cared, you probably don't. I don't think you ever did in the recent months. This is my peace offering to you, I'm leaving. DONE. I'm done making excuses for you, I'm done being treated like the person you hated. I'm most certainly done with being your last priority. I don't know what love should be, but I'm sure as hell our relationship isn't what love supposed to be. I'm writing this to all my girls out there, when things changed. You know. No matter how many times you have lied to yourself for him, you can't lie forever. If he truly wants to be with you, you will know. And when you do, leave.
These 3 years not a single day where i wish we would end up tgt but the more i held on to u the more i realized i never meant to be in ur life so i gave up
Lately, I realize that we all have done ignoring the “bad stuff” in the person who shattered our hearts in pieces again and again because we loved them and at the same time, we all are ignoring the sweetest people in our life to keep that person. To that sweetest person, you know what I’m regretting doing? I regret that I ignored you. Yet deep inside, I wish that I met you first. Imagine how good it would be? I sound selfish, I know but it could have been You and I. Not everyone will have a happy ending, sometimes it ended just like those Hong Kong movies. WE ALL DIED IN THE END.
Girl! You do experience and have a long lasting realtionship but how could you do this to me? Remember when there is stranger who try to talk to your man. You act up and blow it on social media about how disspoainted, sad, anger and how much you hate or dislike girl who behave like this. Then how should i react? When it is just a one time meeting but you try to stick around, try to fit in to the circle. I know it is just about friendliness, you have it toward me too. However, I got driven away and you got a place to stand. Not just a place you found one for your friend too. That is how I got repalced. I don’t know how to feel or react. How could I being treated like this? And You too girl! I do know love can’t be forced but I can’t make myself believe that you are not related in this. Even if it was just a one time gather but you sure know the history of me and that person. Then why do you still let one of your ally in? Standing in my place? I mean if there is no you or just don’t be too friendly or just stay in your circle maybe thing won’t turn out like this. I just feel so stupid or maybe I am one. That why even after you saw me, knew everything you still find a place for her because I am just something that is already thrown away anyway and that space is empty so it got to have a replacement? I mean don’t you understand what attachment is? Or am I a narrow minded who still dwell about the past? What if you were me can you stand and watch calmly without anxious, curiosity and wonder how could it happen if you are not between it? But I am happy for you. You don’t have to imagine yourself in this situation because you got a good person by your side! Still how could you take my good person for your alliance? I felt so insecure, regret of open up and afraid of getting to know new people. But maybe I shouldn’t feel like that anymore becuase now I got nothing else to lose.
Am I that toxic? I know we are just friends, you were just helping. I thought it was something more, I started showing you signs then you backed away. Should I keep going forward or just stop and leave everything?
It's not my wish but I gotta let go cuz I'm not as great as I was before I wannna see you smile not feeling like a bored and I'm sure I'm not capable of doing that anymore. #LM
I felt inspired by watching the rain through my bedroom’s window with my light off. What if the rain were just like us human when crying? Those droplets were just like our tears. Those rumbled thunder was just like us yelling out for help, and those lighting strikes were like us trying to hurt ourselves. It would be unfair if so. Instead of having friends staying besides to comfort like human, the rain doesn’t. Even worse, people would just run away as fast as they can just to avoid it; they get scared, cover their ears even eyes, and curse when they see or hear it thundering. I am one of them too. I get scared and cover my ears when hearing ones. But now, by sitting in my room and considering it, I feel sorry for it. Imagine having no one to turn to or understand you when you need them, and that’s how the sky feels right now. It has been hiding its pain for so long that it couldn’t hold it back anymore, so it had to let it out by pouring rain on us, hopelessly crying and asking for help. That’s why I sit here in my room looking at you and admire you from afar without you noticing or even knowing that I exist. You are doing a great job. Yes! Let it all out; however, I can’t assure you that there won’t be any day like this again, but one step at a time. Remember all those days that the sun was burning all of the creatures on earth while you were their savior? You gave us rain, shades, and good days to us. We are grateful for that. You know what? Without you raining (crying and getting things out of your chest), the presence of rainbow means nothing at all. Therefore, look at those good things you have done for us to keep you going. #sciencefailed
I have a secret that I need to tell. A secret that has made me live in hell. It was quite a long time ago, I was s€xual harassed by someone I trusted and thought of as family. I alternated between guilt for let it happened, feeling dirty and unable to get clean. I haven’t told my parents or his parents because I’m sacred of victims blaming culture in this society. I don’t even told my friends about it either not because of victims blaming but I just can’t talking about it. Lately, something so miniscule triggered me and it’s unbearable. It ended up being connected to my nightmare again and it changed my quality of life. I thought that it was no longer bothered me anymore but it doesn’t. I’m terrified every time I smells the same cologne that he used. I went through “I hate all men” phase. It’s certainly changed my view of men, I’ll be never be able to look at men entirely the same way again. It’s my first time to talk about it since it has happened. Thanks, admin for letting me share it with KnongJit.
why is it too hard to be myself?