Your name
Why can’t I hate the one who hurt and broke my heart into pieces? I can’t even erase your name from my head. I am fu*king hurt when I hear your name. Stupid me hoping to start over again with you.
I don’t know how to put this into words, but once I grow up I started to realize that the dreams I once had in my childhood ( whom I wish myself to be in a certain way) isn’t come true at all. If putting words anonymously could help me cope up with the pain and all of the stress I have then I would do it ten times a day…. From the person who loves to share stories with others to someone who find it hard to open up, started to hate herself, and start to question her capability. I woke up daily with the feeling of “ that’s fine another day have come and there would be thing u need to face” but do I want to end my life? The answer is “NO” I used to have those thoughts. Despite the stress and panic attack I experienced daily I still fight with it , I still give myself a reason to go on… because not everyone is happy. So if you’re reading till this, I would want you to know that of course life is tough you might think that you’re the only one experience it but believe me either the person you know or the one who you don’t, everyone have the same story and sadness that they need to cope with, need to fight… so don’t give up!! Fighting for life, start to live your life even though it’s painful…. Cheer up!!!!
Why can’t I hate the one who hurt and broke my heart into pieces? I can’t even erase your name from my head. I am fu*king hurt when I hear your name. Stupid me hoping to start over again with you.
Girl! You do experience and have a long lasting realtionship but how could you do this to me? Remember when there is stranger who try to talk to your man. You act up and blow it on social media about how disspoainted, sad, anger and how much you hate or dislike girl who behave like this. Then how should i react? When it is just a one time meeting but you try to stick around, try to fit in to the circle. I know it is just about friendliness, you have it toward me too. However, I got driven away and you got a place to stand. Not just a place you found one for your friend too. That is how I got repalced. I don’t know how to feel or react. How could I being treated like this? And You too girl! I do know love can’t be forced but I can’t make myself believe that you are not related in this. Even if it was just a one time gather but you sure know the history of me and that person. Then why do you still let one of your ally in? Standing in my place? I mean if there is no you or just don’t be too friendly or just stay in your circle maybe thing won’t turn out like this. I just feel so stupid or maybe I am one. That why even after you saw me, knew everything you still find a place for her because I am just something that is already thrown away anyway and that space is empty so it got to have a replacement? I mean don’t you understand what attachment is? Or am I a narrow minded who still dwell about the past? What if you were me can you stand and watch calmly without anxious, curiosity and wonder how could it happen if you are not between it? But I am happy for you. You don’t have to imagine yourself in this situation because you got a good person by your side! Still how could you take my good person for your alliance? I felt so insecure, regret of open up and afraid of getting to know new people. But maybe I shouldn’t feel like that anymore becuase now I got nothing else to lose.
I know we no longer belong to each other, but I miss you, always have missed you, and always will miss you. I don’t know why it is so easy for you to move on, to forget about us, but I don’t want to be like you. I want to keep our memories in my head as long as possible , I won’t try to forget about us, because those are the memories I adore the most. I wish you had cared a little more about my feelings, if you did, maybe we wouldn’t be strangers today. You always blamed me when we argued, calling me childish , never once reflected on your actions . Never knew how much you hurt me, or maybe you did know, you just chose to not care. Because, after all , maybe I’m not that special to you. I love you a lot , a lot that I’d take you back the second you tell me you miss me. To the person I wish loved me more , #R
Where should I start... So you guys might not know who am I and I love to keep it that way. But some might notice by the way I write this confession. So just like the title said "don't worry". Recently, both my mental and physical health is not doing good. I sometimes experience chest pain whenever I wake up from my sleep, I can't eat much even though I try, I've been having insomnia for 3 years already. There are some people who actually worry about me and tell me to visit a doctor and even want to help me with all the stuff that have happened; I really appreciate your kindness guy, really. I have visited the doctor, but I don't want to describe what he told me here. I have never asked anyone for anything; however, here I am for the first time, asking my friends, family to smile at my funeral when I'm gone. I know it's impossible for you, but let just say that it's my last wish and please help me fulfill it. I've been fighting so hard, but I'm sorry I can feel that I'm not strong enough, not anymore. I'm not gonna do anything stupid but I know that my time is coming, sooner or later. So please don't worry about me.
What if you later realize that your boyfriend is not your type after dating for a while?
fafafa
If someone acts like they don't wanna talk to you and stop reaching out to you, it just simply means they want nothing to do with you anymore, right? It's just that clear and obvious, I don't even know what else I need in order to acknowledge it. At this point, I don't even wanna try to catch up or stay in touch because it's way too late. I just find it weird how we suddenly become strangers even though we didn't argue or anything. It's just that I have never been in this situation before. I used to think it would be better to end all contacts with you because I got my feelings mixed up. "Why do I feel upset and jealous if I don't even like you that way? Maybe friends get jealous too if they feel like they're being replaced?" Those kind of stuffs. Now that we don't contact each other, I no longer know what's going on between you and that person so I don't have to feel that type of upset anymore. But, I start to feel upset at how you're so fine with our situation while I'm not. I'm confused and I don't even know how I want the situation to unfold.
Since I broke up with my ex bf in March 2021, I never had any bf until now. Not because I didn’t fall in love with anyone else. It’s because I used to asked s1 abt feeling during I broke up. And the answer is “ death both side”xD. And yeah at the time he’s the only person that I chatted with, told him how’s my feelings, sometime cried while sending my voice to him. Then we haven’t chatted for awhile. Currently, And he just text me and get on with each again.