It's hard to get through the night without thinking about you. It would've been easier to just go back to where we left and let the alcohol speak for myself again. I really wanna talk to you again, so much but I know if i texted you you might not gonna reply, guess you hate me so much now. It hurts me so much imagine u hate me u forgot about me and how you can easily moved on but I’ll just have to accept the fact. We didnt end well but im glad im glad that you gave a chance between us and made up with all these wonderful joyful memories. Thank you for the efforts you put into this relationship and I wish you all the best. ❤️
I feel like everyone keep avoiding me and I have no idea why would they treat me like that. I keep wondering what did i do wrong? Is there anything i've missed out ? And I really don't know. And you know I now can feel the lyrics" I think I've seen this film before, and didn't like the ending" because yes, I used to be treat like this too and that's what scared me most. And I scared I keep seeing it and it repeat time too time, again and again.
We all wished to have been born in another country than the one we have gotten. Regretfully we cannot control our fate. However, we are individuals with free will, and it is up to us to do whatever it takes to rightfully get to a country that we wish to have been born in. Here is my story: I felt the love for another person’s country and the warmth embrace of two lovely girls all the way in Northern Europe from my cozy and comfortable room in Cambodia. I met them through a mutual friend/family of mine in the summer of 2021, whom agreed to connect me with my soon-to be friends virtually to discuss on studying abroad. Right from that moment that we were connected, I felt that I was supposed to meet you. The memories and feelings that blossomed as we talked and called on our phones about 9,000 km apart still makes my heart smile as I am writing this confession now. The laughters and jokes that we shared those late nights still makes my heart palpitated just by thought of it. From the moment I expressed my love and appreciation for your country, the interest in pursuing a graduate level study in your country, and the admiration for the language of your people, you have been nothing but supportive, warmth and friendly in the cause for my struggle. You have brought peace and calmness throughout this long journey of mine. Most importantly, for every time that we talked you expects to see and awaits my arrival. For that I am 🥹 grateful, I cannot wait to close the gaps between us.
I almost contacted you again, but everytime I almost did, I remembered how we're nth to each other. Everytime I almost did, I scrolled through our chats and I saw how pathetic I was. Almost begging for your love. Everytime I almost did, I remembered how you would let me go back home alone. How you had time for everyone else but never for me. How you forgot everything you said. How you told me you would do this and that for me but you never did. Every little things you said you would do. It's the details that matters and show me how much you love me. Turned out I couldn't feel the love at all. I remembered how hopeless and broken I felt to see you never want to give me the title, to never want to commit into the relationship, to never think of us. It was the last straw that broke me. Broke us. They said loving someone too much will make them stop appreciating you, I guess that's true. I gave up my pride for you for so many times. Let's keep this last one for myself. Take care.
You know what happens to the person who you are pushing away? They’re starting to question themselves, their worth and feels so insignificant and powerless. I, myself questioned myself “ am I not good enough “. You know how much it hurts when I tried my best to stood by you while you’re pushing me away? Is it fun to doing so? I wanted to feel needed again. I wanted you to want me like you had before. I wanted you to lean on me, but that was the impossible task for you. Despite feeling so distant from you, I was there every time you needed to talk. We went from telling each other anything and everything to complete strangers. I feel like I don’t even know you anymore. I'd been pushed so deeply that there was no coming back. We went from the funny, the goofy texts to nothing at all. I’ll never stop caring. But if you decide to push me away, I’ll stay away. You pushed me too far, too fast and I couldn’t keep chasing after you.
My mental health is breaking down so is my mind. The cheerful me have gone and I wish I could have someone who stay by my side and tell me “Everything will be fine.” :)
i love you but the fear of not being good enough is keeping me from staying by your side. i wish i didn’t have the insecurities that i do, i wish i felt more confident, i wish i didn’t have to be afraid everyday about being less than perfect, i wish i wasn’t out of your league.
Throw back to yr 1, I think I had the most beautiful moment crushing on someone. She's my first love, I'm just not lucky enough to make her mine. Plus I crushed on her knowing she got a boyfriend. We became close, probably because of our personalities match and had alot of things in common. I think she is a type I always ask for. We got the same age, but she is so much more mature. She cared and noticed every little thing about me. She always make me feel special. Sometimes, we hold hands in the mall and during class. She used to called me her soulmate. We are lovebird in our class. I kept rejecting, saying no when our classmates talked about us as a couple.(inside, smiling and wishing it was true) xD I really miss me being with her. I miss reading book, paying attention in class, finishing my homework, learning new things, improving my grammar, caring my own health, going to gym, eating healthy food, being kind to other, fullfiling my commitment, keep things under control, keeping my promise, calming down my anger, being a reasonable person, being okay to say sorry. I miss being a better person, just to catch her attention. I miss trying to be a person that come in package. Being an understanding, a sweet, responsible, respectful and a romantic boyfriend, that she always wanted. I remembered days, the first thing I do when I got school is looking for her white scoopy and pink helmet. Everytime I saw her motor at the parking lot, I was so happy going to class, knowing I'm going to see her in any minute soon. Till today, with a little pain in my heart, such a warming one, I still can say I'm glad not telling her about my feeling toward her. We are now still friend, kinda close as before. I got a girlfriend, and sometimes I run to her when I fight with my girlfriend. She's still the same, being an understanding one, giving advice and comfort with care. I'm glad, staying in her life in a position that I able to hear everything about her, everything she wanna talk and going through. I'm glad being a shoulder she can cry on, playing her hair, stabbing her head gently anytime I want to. I am now graduated 3yr already. If I can keep it this long time, I really wish this can be forever. I think I am now being selfish. The thought of losing her is really scary. PS: I am gay.
I’m not sure if I can request this here but can DIS provide wifi for students too? Pleaseeee🙄 (Not sure whether they already provide or not)