Toxic

My mental health is breaking down so is my mind. The cheerful me have gone and I wish I could have someone who stay by my side and tell me “Everything will be fine.” :)

Feeling bottled up?

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2025-08-14

What is love?

I’m just wondering that most of the confessors who confess about love really know about love. Because I don’t. I really am. And maybe I’m confused. I don’t know if it because I’ve been single for too long or what (bachelor degree of single). I care I worry I talk all the time about the person that I close with but when others ask am I in love with that person? I would say I don’t and I don’t know what love is like. Also, they said the way and the action that I did toward that person it is love. And I don’t know at all.

2025-08-14

A letter to the one that got away

You will never see this. I wish I could telepathize what I have always been hiding inside my heart to you right now. It is unbelievable that I lost you just like that. We created a lot beautiful memories together. You were my precious person. You gave me warmth. You gave me courage. You made me feel the luckiest. I was so proud to have you by my side. I was so happy. I still can’t accept the fact that you left me in the middle of the road after a very long way we had walked side by side. You left a heavy mark on me and now I have to put fences around it because I am scare to let someone get close to it. I really hope this footprint will fade away someday. Now, I am wondering. How beautiful and amazing it could have turned out if we were here together right now? I really want to see how strong and wise you could have become. I have always wanted to see the grownup version of you. We could have completed our bucket lists together. We could have had a great journey of adulthood together. Our precious moment could have been much more than this. Yet, at the end of the day, past should be left behind and life should go on. Perhaps, in the parallel universe, we are having the best moment right now. Maybe I will see you again in another life with no regrets like this. I guess, I will see you there. I hope to see you there. - owl

2025-08-14

Am I that pathetic?

Is it wrong to have feelings for your own friend? And is it wrong to still have hope that we might end up together? Is it too pathetic to continue liking him? I can say that we are quite close, and by far, he’s the closest guy friend I’ve ever had. Close in the sense of me sharing with him about my day, my struggles, my happy moments, etc. He was very understanding, kind, and not to mention very smart. He listened to me ranting about my days very well. He also consults me whenever I’m down. We exchanged many texts. We texted non-stop until the early morning. He made me feel somewhat important and special. We also countdown together on New Year’s Eve. But, little did I know, he treated other friends (he had a lot of girl friends) the same way too…… I tried to distance myself and cut off my feelings, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t. Even to this day, I still have feelings for him and still hope that I’m special to him in some way. My pathetic self.

2025-08-14

From gech,

I’m really happy to see all my friends and people around me are slowly but gradually figuring their life out; while I’m still here, imagine myself dying every way possible. What a GREAT life! #kayyy_4993

2025-08-14

Trying to find u in another human form

Said im fine and said i moved on Im only here passing time in his arms

2025-08-14

I don't like my boyfriend.

Thanks for letting me getting this out as this is something I can't normally share with my friends. I have been together with my boyfriend for almost 3 years. He's someone I can share everything with and someone I'm comfortable to be with. We are on the same page in term of life goals and other stuff. I have no eyes for anyone else or think about having choices because my life already suffered me enough and I love him. I long for someone who share the same passion and energy as I do and someone I can RELY on. My boyfriend is great but there are certain times that I feel like if something were to happen in the future, I'll be the one who has to take control. Those certain times and little things make me doubt if I can stay with him because I don't want to be unsatisfied after I'm married, right? I don't want to leave him but personality traits aren't something I can change. It's started to build up inside me and it affects my action towards him too. I feel like shit. ដូចគ្រប់គ្នាតែងនិយាយថា​ការហើយអត់សប្បាយចិត្តព្រោះប្តីឬប្រពន្ធពឹងពាក់មិនបាន. I don't want that. At first, you love each other unconditionally and as times goes by, you realize that there many things to look for. Love doesn't solve the problem.

2025-08-14

It’s alright

I’ve seen a lot of post about suicidal thought and people trying to commit the act. I just want to tell those of you who are struggling out there that “it’s alright”. It’s alright, I’ve been through this before as well. Although I’ve never been that suicidal, the thought of “if my life ends, then many problems and burdens will be solved” did cross my mind. It takes a lot of willpower and strength to get through this phase as I would shut myself inside my room all day and night and on social media during my high school years. There were times I was upset with my parents, of them blaming me, and scolding me for various mundane things that happen in our everyday life. However, I want to tell you that it’s alright to run to your parents and hug them with all you have, they would not mind it even if you guys are currently in an argument. It’s alright to tell your friends and others “I cannot do this anymore. I’m tired and wanna be left alone”. It’s alright to feel overwhelmed and go through this phase, I believe we have gone through this teenage and young adult phase at least once in our lives. I am not telling you that suicide is wrong and you shouldn’t do it, I am trying to say that it should be your very last option. Wallow in your tears, your sadness, your stress, your burdens, your self-pity all you want. Most people blame themselves for not being good enough rather than actually addressing their fears and inhibitions. Perhaps it is easier to ignore all that is happening around you. I am not entertaining nor romanticizing suicidal thought, but if you still cannot find a better option or a better way to live your life, then it is alright to end it.

2025-08-14

ពេលវេលា

មិត្តខ្ញុំតែងប្រាប់ខ្ញុំថា "ទុកឲ្យពេលវេលាជាអ្នកព្យាបាលរបួសនៃចិត្ត" ប្រហែលជាខ្ញុំមិនសូវមើលម៉ោងទេ ទើបបានជាពេលវេលានៅជុំវិញខ្ញុំហាក់ដើរយូរបែបនេះ