Request for DIS

I’m not sure if I can request this here but can DIS provide wifi for students too? Pleaseeee🙄 (Not sure whether they already provide or not)

Feeling bottled up?

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The never coming date we planned

Remember when we used to say we will meet? Remember when you said you were so eager to meet me? Remember how we were happily discussed about this so call date and plan it all out perfectly? Remember how you and I both had our hands on our first date gift for each other? I still had those photos of our gifts which we had sent to one another. But now, where was it? Where had it gone to? Where are you? Just how cruel are you leaving me all alone in this world before we could ever meet. Just…why? Why did you have to leave so soon? It’s been 1 year and a half since you’re gone from this world. May your beautiful soul be at ease. You are the most beautiful human I ever meet.

Reply to #KJ0382

I used to be that type of person too tho:). I find it easy to cope stress on my own but one day you might just losen out for a really big time. So, it's better to let your friend know even if it's hard for you to open up. Just spit a bit even if it's seem nonsense to your friend. This is weird for me to share my experience with a stranger xD.

Waiting…

We broke up and you found someone new. It was a dark time for the two of us. I got my problem and you got yours. Yes, we start spending less time together because life keep throwing us lemon and make everything sour between us. Deep down in my heart, I still love you, I still miss everyplaces we went together, drink, eat … The parking spot that i park my car and we shared about problems… I missed all of that. Now that you left, I try to avoid all the places that we been to together… every time i when there, in my head, I saw shadows of your and flashbacks of you every details your orders, your favorite drinks… it hurt me.

I think it hits me again…

I think the dep hits me again. I noticed by when my heartbeat started to go fast, sometimes I feel suffocated, I couldn’t catch my breath, I couldn’t concentrate, my hands get shaky, my body feel weak, I got lost of interest in making any decisions, my weight started to lost again. I hate to fall into the conditions but I couldn’t help. I tried asking for help but it doesn’t work, it only makes me feel like I’m different, especially when they try to be too careful with me (it looks to fake, I could see it) It is amazing how my mood changes too quickly, I was just laughing and talking a lot yesterday, but today everything become a sorrow story again. I used to think of getting a therapist, asking an expert on my conditions, but the fact that I was under control by my family and that I couldn’t ride or drive any transportation method at all, make me feel even more bad and useless. I also used to think about reaching them via email or phone calls, but I was too scared, it was too hard for me to make myself do it, so I decided I gave up seeking for mental specialist. I chose to be healed by my own. (I really did heal myself but there was a lot of time the demon hits me back and forth, sometimes I feel really happy and the next minutes I feel like k*lling myself) I don’t know what else should I do. Are there anyone who will be the light for me?

Can anyone give this a title?

Where to begin? Because I don’t know exactly what I’m feeling right now. There’s a person whom I used to have a crush on him while I was in grade 10. FYI, I’m a senior student at a university now. We are friends from high school to university. Literally, everywhere I turn to for the last 6 to 7 years, he’s always there. At some point, while I was having a crush on him, I found out he liked someone already. So, as I should, I moved on. I found myself a boyfriend and just live my life. We’re still friends and eventually, we grew closer as years passed. As nice as he always is, he helps me, listens to me venting my anger, or just listens to me complaining about my life. The problem is that I didn’t realize that I’ve been depending on him too much for the last few years. Only until recently, when he couldn’t be there to help me anymore that I realized I did always stand alone. More or less, he’s always there to help. Lately, he hasn't been around much. You know, as we grow old, we get more responsibility and life is just busier. For some reason, I feel like I’m breaking up with someone I’ve never been with in the first place. FYI, he’s just nice. He’s like that to everyone and I’ve never thought that I’m special to him either. Anyway, what is this feeling called?

Feeling and reason are at war...

It was not right how I thought I could control my feelings since I was traumatized by how I was treated... It was not right how I thought my emotions could be detached if I belived so... It was not right how you just became a part of me, my emotion, my life without me knowing... It was not right how it could affect me this much just by not getting your text... I mean since when have you become this important to me? For some reasons, I think we have the mutual feelings, but it is just not right for us to be together because we are traumatized by our experiences, is it? Or has it been one-sided? I just feel confused and I fear that it would take too much time to move on... becuase you are always on my mind now. Us being able to talk again or not, I am not sure. What I am sure is that talking to you was one best experience. I enjoy it and I hope you feel the same. :)

Love

I met my true love at the age of 16. First love didn’t mean that we have to date. I met a lot of people before him but no one make me felt the love like he did. Let’s call him “A”. Me and A never get to date each other but I love him I truely love him. He’s the one who teach me love and I can’t forget about him. A seem to like me at first but then he lose interest in me and I hurt so bad after knowing it but that’s ok. He’s 2 year older than me. A never get out of my mind I miss him so bad. Still have his number saved, remember every detail about him even the way he talk and his voice. As long as he’s happy I can watch him from far away.

Why mom?

Why mom? Why do you have to make me feel this way? What have I ever done so wrong? You know, it is very hurtful and very tormenting when you, my mother, care so little of me. Why is it that when my younger brother got a minor cold, you would rush me to buy him medicine, to take care of him, and so on, but when I got tested positive of covid-19 because I have to go to work, you didn't even seem to care about it as a matter a fact, you didn't even want to buy me covid med, you told me I don't need covid med and just take normal coughing med, you thought paracetamol is enough? Just why do I have to feel all this unfairness? Should I just do you and everyone a favor and just take as much paracetamol as I can and just die? Would that have been better for everyone?