Painful 😣

It’s painful. How people does not notice if I wasn’t alright. Does my existence ever matter in this family? Why do you have to make me question myself every time to see if I really belong in this home? Does the thought of me going crazy ever cross your mind? Why do I have to suffer alone like this? I never get the answer. And I kept sinking down the hole of darkness. I used to tell people I’m so scared of the dark but now it can almost take control of me. I see no light. How am I supposed to keep going? Will there be someone who shade the light to me? I’m tired of trying alone. Trying to please everyone, when my whole damn heart is breaking down. šŸ’”šŸ˜“

Feeling bottled up?

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2025-08-14

The hidden love, the endless regrets.

Life is too short to keep love locked in. Don’t trying to reject the truth and your true feelings to somebody. You lied when you told them that you did not love them. But you did. And now that is something you’ve to live with for the rest of your life. That is something you’ve to leave in the back of your throat. Imagine. Loving someone but not showing them how much you love them. This is the burden that arrives the moment you're gone. The weight you have to carry on your shoulders. The burning you feels over your skin when someone mentions their name. forever. You loved them but did not show it. And maybe you wanted more but was too distracted to do anything about it. You lost them. Some people can’t see the the good things in front of them because they think that they have time for it later but you know what, sometimes later become NEVER. How many ā€œwhat ifā€ in your life? If you have too much ā€ what if’s ā€œ in your mind then what if your feelings are returned? You have to try for things even when you don't know the outcome. After you tell them the truth they can smile, say you they feel the same or simply go away, disappear and don’t talk to you anymore. All of these are still better than talking with a person and not telling them your real feelings. We never know what will happen tomorrow or in next few hours. Bear in mind that the pain of rejection and the awkwardness of feeling vulnerable is nothing compared to the regret of not saying something when you no longer have the chance. ā€œBetter is open rebuke than hidden loveā€

2025-08-14

How to decide?

I told you to wait for me, it only 10 months and I will come back. But thing doesn't turn out as I planned and Im stuck with my life decision right now. So our relationship started when I moved to a country for my Master Degree. She is my junior in my faculty and we been dated for 1 year and half. She was the best thing that ever happened to me, she was everything I ever imagine in a girl. My friends told me that my life is like a k-drama series because I was never been that happy before. After almost a year of dating our relationship getting hard, you accused me as a cheater while I just did exactly what u asked me to do. You was telling me you want to get married and live a normal life like other girls and told me to start looking for someone else. My heart broke into pieces everytime I heard those words from you, I couldn't endure the pain somehow. So I was started talking to someone else while feeling really guilty to you. You caught me texting with someone else, guess what now u feel what I feel now? You asked for a break up but does not we already broke up? After a series of drama we made up ,thanks to Covid-19 for made up stuck in a house together. But the problem now I almost finished my study and I need to get back to my country. I told you I will continue my study, just wait for 10 months I will get back after I get a scholarship. I didn't understand my self y I have to grind so hard for a relationship that already broken. Even I know at the end you will not choose me, even I know u still keep texting other person. I still remember ur sobbing face when u send me off at airport, our last hug, our last meal at airport. Now 6 months had passed, I has moved to my country and it was very hard in the first few months when I was the only person who wanna keep this relationship. Even I used to get " I miss you" text from u a few times and It made me very happy but deep down I knew things changed and we ended. You told me to move on and be happy since you alr start dating someone. I don't know how to feel happy hearing this. After a severe heartache, I tell my self I wont go back to that place again and I wont let anyone hurt me again. Now I moved on, happy with my life, I able to imagine my life without u in it until I got an email telling me that I was offered a scholarship. It is a great news yes it a scholarship I prayed for before , it was a dream come true and it is a ticket for me to find you. But my head mess up, I can't decide should I accept or reject? Should I leave things I have built here and go back to suffer again? PhD is sound fancy but it also a very lonely journey and suffocation. Plus I want to build my life without u involve in it, I don't want to feel those pain again. But this time I will made a decision for me, a life decision without u involve in it... PS: We both are girls.

2025-08-14

Crushing my classmate

So we attend the school event together. And at the dinner time we all dressed with certain dress codes. She looks damn gorgeous🄺 I didn't tell her that tho, I might get caught. Then, there was a dancing session, and we got each other. I got to hold her hand and her jongkes as we danced to couple random songs. This was the best part of the event. I doubt she knows that I like her. Would you ladies like your classmates?🄺

2025-08-14

Will You?

If it were you, will you go to help ur ex if she/he ask you for a help even she/he alr had someone else ?

2025-08-14

Online Crush

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2025-08-14

Better

Ex, I changed myself alot about personality. And im glad and proud that i did it success even i can’t move on from u. I wanna ask u 3 questions: 1. I have everything especially my personality isn’t like before, ik im still me but i just changed my toxic personality so what else im still missing? 2. Do u have a true woman to love u yet? 3. And do u change urself some of mistakes? Cuz u also have alot of mistakes too. Did u change anything?

2025-08-14

Have you ever missed me once ?

From someone you didn’t talk to anymore. It’s been almost 3 years since we met each other in China . Everything went smoothly for us until we got back to our home country. You started to change all of your attitude toward me, the text became emotionless as cold ice. Anything reminds me of you even your favorite drink, favorite dessert, favorite food and all the things we used to do together. Have you ever thought about how we spend there ? How we talked? How we explore the Chinese food ? How I walked you to your school gate ? Have you ever missed me even once? Did anything remind me of you? #KNT01.

2025-08-14

Help me!!

Long story short, I have a crush on this girl for like 3 years now until January this year I decide to step up my game and ask her out to study at a cafĆ© every weekend. Things were smooth until Covid lockdown became a thing. Even though we couldn’t meet, but I still talk to her regularly, buy gifts for her every special occasions... Now that we can actually meet each other, there is another problem that I need you guys’s opinion. We’re both grade 12 and as you know we’ll have a national exam soon. The thing is should I confess to her right after the exam? How do I confess to her? It’s pretty obvious that I don’t want to break our friendship so what should I do? (I’m a nerd and this is my first time doing these things plus she’s the best thing that ever happen to me). Please let me know about your opinions in the comment section 😊