Better

Ex, I changed myself alot about personality. And im glad and proud that i did it success even i can’t move on from u. I wanna ask u 3 questions: 1. I have everything especially my personality isn’t like before, ik im still me but i just changed my toxic personality so what else im still missing? 2. Do u have a true woman to love u yet? 3. And do u change urself some of mistakes? Cuz u also have alot of mistakes too. Did u change anything?

Feeling bottled up?

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2025-08-14

The small details of you.

Your good morning text, your sweet talk, your arms, your chest, your lips, your hair, your everything is my favorite. I love it when you call me babe. I love it when you call me just to rant about how your mom treats you. I love it when you tell me how your day was. I love it when you text me saying I love you. I love it when you hug me. I love it when you kiss me. I love everything that you do. I love how you switch your drinks or food with me because I didn't like what I ordered. The ice cream place we went to. The drinks we ordered. The future we talked about. The random things we sent to each other. The dark humor you used to tell me. The dad jokes you told me. The heavy metal music you listen to before you sleep. Every little thing of yours is my favorite. I miss everything about you, but you hurted me, so bad. It felt so good somehow.

2025-08-14

The villain is me

There have been countless times where I've made you feel all of those disgusting feelings knowing full well how much you loved me knowing how much I hated these but I couldn't bring myself to change so suddenly. So i gave up our connection even though I still loved you dearly. Maybe that's why it pained me to see you being all hurtful and anxious because of my thoughtless actions, the thought that only me matters in our relationship. I've pictured us in a family of many pets, pictured you being the best dad and the best husband a man could ever be. That at some point i was unable to picture my life without you. But gradually, I've realized my behaviors started to hurt you, my actions began to make you doubt my love for you, we kept misinterpreting and misunderstanding each other. I tried my best to be optimistic about the situation despite being the over emotional and dramatic person i am. I have thought that with love, we could overcome everything but i was naive. I forgot that love is just the topping to the already flourishing relationship. We couldn't take each other's words to heart, you have a complete different opinion and view and so do I. So how can we expect each of us to understand each other? I've resisted the urge to approach you multiple times already since we broke up, I've cried thinking about you, i just wanted to scream loudly so the whole world know i miss you. I've missed you but I'd rather pick your happiness over this. I'll still hold the belief that you'll find someone who can shoulder all the burdens you're carrying, always be the ear to listen to your thoughts, always have the heart to open to your everything. I'll pray for you. I didn't want to make this long, but it's already long. So I wanna close this with .... I love you. Sorry that your last person couldn't be me. I will forever cherish the memories we had. Please stay safe and healthy. From that girl who let you go away.
2025-08-14

Mon09888

Today is a good day.
2025-08-14

A piece of you

I'm scared because if no one makes me feel the way you did. but I'll be ok for a few days but then it hits me, I stop functioning and everything falls apart again. What hurts is that we never really said goodbye. We just kind of ended. And I'm afraid I'll miss you forever. But then again, you didn't say goodbye, and a part of me believes that means you're coming back.
2025-08-14

Always you!

To you my priority, since the day you left, I’m certain that I’m not the same person as I used to be. I’m sure that my feeling right now isn’t okay and it hurts me the most. I wanted to let you know that, you’re the only one who made me know what love is, you’re the only one who made me feel warm and secure while I was with you, you’re the only one that my love for you is still the same since our first day until now, you’re the only one whom I have any plans for the future. All of the sacrifices, efforts, and times that I put in, I didn’t expect anything in return, other than your love and dedication. I did everything just to make you feel that you’re the only one that got all of those things from me, not everyone else. I did everything just to make you feel happy, warm, and comfortable. I’ve never stopped daydreaming about how I’m going to build my life, buy my first house, first car with you, and marry you one day. You know what? I see you every two weeks, and when I return home I feel as if I've lost something that no one or nothing can replace. I had the feeling that I was leaving something behind that would never come back. I miss you, I'm upset, I didn’t want to return home, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. You’re the only one, when I’m having fun and all I could think of is what if you were right here with me? I’d go on trips and while living in the moment, I allowed my imaginations to get ahead of me and I was able to picture you beside me and I got that feeling of “how nice would it be for you to be here with me”. To me, you’re perfect. To me, you’re beautiful as always in my eyes. I’m grateful you came into my life, I’m grateful for everything you’ve done for me. My love for you hasn't changed, and no one can take your place in my heart, my mind, and my brain. And I’m so sorry for what I’ve done to you. Sorry that I can’t keep you by my side. I’m still hoping everyday that you will come back to me again. You’re special to me. I’m so proud to have you in my life. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Your photo is still in my wallet, and your picture is still on my lock screen wallpaper. I wrote these letters with a song that I used to sing for you, When you’re home - Tyler Shaw. It’s 3AM now and I’m still thinking about you. I hope you will come back to me! #NL

2025-08-14

Should’ve known earlier

I thought I was special. Maybe not to anyone but to you in specifically and yet she was the one that you always have and going to choose. I have nothing to complain tho but it still strings me ‘til these days.
2025-08-14

from j to k

I may be not lucky to meet a right person, but I’ll try to be a right one… a right one for you. Even though you can’t love me back, but I hope you can see my worth and appreciate all my attention that I have for only you. And one more thing, if you’re tired of me, just tell me and I promise I’ll never bother you again. It may be painful at first but yeah I have to accept the truth anyway.
2025-08-14

Before I give up

Well, this confession gonna sound stupid to some of you, yet, I hope I can keep my memory here. I am madly in love with a person I met in middle 2021 but I have never confessed nor shown any signs to him at all for I knew I’m not his type. I first met him through a volunteer platform which help me to spent my awesome six months working together with him. I am hopelessly falling in love knowing that I will never get a response from him. There was a time I gather all my strength and used drunk as an excuse to directly talked to him about how I felt yet before I could even talk, I found out he already has eyes on somebody. Thank to that I did not lose him until today. We barely talked now as our project is already ended - honestly I am still into him but I give up now. I am too hopeless to even think about him so I decided to leave a note here and hope this would find him well or rest well in my memory. Thanks ~