Old me VS New me

It hurts right? Turning from the happy, joyful and socialize person to the one who try to hide and isolate himself from everyone. I kept having mental breakdown when I’m alone in the dark room. Hope it gets better soon.

Feeling bottled up?

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2025-08-14

The final date of us

My girlfriend and I had been dating for more than a year, and we shared a close friendship beyond anything else. We always understood each other and had a deep love that remained strong through all the ups and downs. However, our relationship came to a halt eventually as we realized that we were in different places in our lives. While she was only 20 and looking forward to getting married and having children soon, I was 21 and had different priorities in mind. I wanted to spend more time dating her, and I was thinking about starting a family around the age of 30. It was a tough decision, but we both knew that it was for the best if we went our separate ways. On the last day of our relationship, we decided to have one last date night. I took her out to a romantic restaurant that had live music and bought her flowers that she loved. We reminisced about our favorite moments together and talked about all the things that we would miss about each other. We discussed how we had impacted each other's lives in so many positive ways. Later in the evening, we went to see the Hobbit, which was one of our favorite movies. It was a bittersweet experience to watch the film together knowing that it would be our last time doing so. We hugged and kissed for one last time as we said our goodbyes and went our separate ways. Although it was an incredibly tough decision to make, we both agreed that it was the right one. It was the perfect end to our relationship, and it allowed us to move on with our lives. While we went our separate ways, I will always cherish the memories that we created together.

2025-08-14

Psychopath or Loyal, I don't know..

This is my true story which I haven't told anyone beside one person... Let start from 2011, when I was 13 years old. I met a girl in my Chinese class, she was 2 years younger than me, she was a energetic, outgoing and have cheerful spirit. Our first met start by arguing with each other about her friend's table space (we were just kids XD). Then I start falling for her. However, I was overage mature, I started thinking that we both are too young, and we wont go far even if we start. Then I start suppressing my own feeling and start to feel dead inside and I became cold and speak less and less. 3 years later, we graduated from the Chinese school (Grade 9th). During the year, I also feel that she is also into me but I still think that we both were too young (at that time, I even imagined we both falling for each other and start a family, silly me XD) and slowly, I was pushing her away while I were hurting my own feeling. I planned to confess 2 years later if we both make it to the final graduated, but she dropped out and I were still hopelessly falling for her. I didn't let thing stop there, I started stalking on the social media but never have the courage to talk to her and slowly we became stranger. During the years, she started to falling into relationships and broke up over and over again, I saw her got her heart broken and it broke mine as well. How can you bear to see the person you fell in love with getting hurt again and again. Through that experience, she started to change, she started using bad words, drinking, going to club.etc. and she became a completely different person I once knew. I don't blame her for that, anyone would fall to that after got in to multiple toxic relationships. During that time, I used to told this story to my female friend and she promised me to keep it as secret and she did. That female friend also have a feeling for me but got rejected. How can you love other person when you got one deep down in the bottom of your heart. I know it hurts you alot, but please forgive me. I apologized from the bottom of my heart. I wish you met someone who would love you as much as a human heart can do. I dont want to intrude you with my story. Sorry again. Back to the story, at the time I'm writing all this, she is in her latest relationship and I wish her all the best, I hope this relationship will lead to marriage. I wish you would live a happy life. You don't deserve pain. I apologized for not being there when you suffered from all the pain you encountered. You have changed from the person I once knew to a completely different person. but my love for you won't change. Because of all that I can't fall in love easily, I start to fear the terms love. I shall put an end to this pathetic story, may be I should free myself from you and start to fall in love again (it wont the same as last time) but I will give my all in my next relationship, I wont let the person I love suffer the way we did. From the person who crushed you for 11 years... Have a good life.

2025-08-14

Upset

I’m a type of person that value friendship more than relationship , I rather not date anyone just so I have more time to hang out with my close friend. We share stuff no one ever know about us , enjoy each other’s company without saying a word to each other , inside jokes , hangout non stop…But then things change , third party comes in , she is still my friend but someone else has become her closest friend. They share conversations day and night , calling non stop , playing with each other all the time . I feel like I’m left out but who am i to be jealous of that , you guys seem to be enjoying each other company so much , why would i ruin that because of my feeling , I’m just upset that I can’t provide you that feeling , but it is what it is . I don’t know if you know that I’m upset with that but since I’m not good at opening up to you anymore, I hope the best for you guys even if we become stranger one day…

2025-08-14

i want to back to my ex.

I can’t deny anymore that I still love him although we broke up for 8 years already, but he’s still the one. Anyway I don’t have gut to tell him how my feel is since we’re now became friends and I don’t want this friendship broken again! But I want him back is there anything that I should give him the hint that I still into him with all these years?

2025-08-14

Thank you for reliving my soul #PYJ

Through a heart break of rejection and the lose of my best friendship, I felt like losing my own home. I got no one by my side, that's what a child far from home like me felt. Just then, I met you, someone I can share all my sorrow and believing. If you happen to see this, I just wanna let you know that you were my strength to confront and overcome those challenges. I'm grateful for your existing through my darkest hour, where your presence told me I have you. And you're in my memory too and I felt whatever you felt. I can't keep in touch with you for some reasons, that's why I couldn't tell you all this. And I know if I could tell you, you won't settle down. I have a different life now and I can't be a late night talk companion like I used to. I forgave you whatever you did and do forgive me too for whatever I said to you. Please think of me like a good friend you had. You gotta live your good life and one day, someone's gonna take my place from your memory to a living moment.

2025-08-14

The friendship I valued the most..

To the friend I used to valued... Months ago, I had a female fiend who I talked to daily, I kept listen to her rant day to day, support her during her bad time. It is not that I had feeling for her or something. I just valued our friendship. Being friend is meant to valued each other, aint it? Then one day, she told me that she got into a relationship. I congratulated her and keep texting her as we used to. Then she barely reply to my text. It is not that I got jealous or something. But the friend who you trusted, you supported most, valued the most, turned their back after got into relationship as if you meant nothing to them. Was I been used? Was I have done something wrong? Is it mean they don't want you anymore? Or is it mean you are out of their used? I don't know. After that, I decided to silently walk out of her life. Knowing that my effort has no meaning to them.(what's suck most, is she never asked or notice my absence) I still hope you have a great life, live happily. From the person who out of your used.

2025-08-14

Friend-zone

I fell for you friendliness but things got complicated, we would flirt with each other, we went to places with each other and I thought we really had a connection. But the friendliness that I fell for became a problem, yes I became jealous. I thought I was special but I noticed that you treated other girls the same so I slowly back away and moved on. I dated someone else and slowly lose feelings for you, until it was our senior year that I fully moved on and focused on my study and relationship. Things were great until we met up again, I heard you’re dating someone new and you weren’t afraid to show her off. We stopped talking for a while and the next thing I knew, we get to talked again and open up about our feelings, you said you liked me too back then. But now it’s too late. To be honest, I’m quite happy for you. I wasn’t bitter or jealous but from time to time I wondered, what could have been if we were honest about our feelings. Then we lost contact again, I’ve broken up with my boyfriend back then and focus on my study, I didn’t plan on dating anyone after that but deep down a part of me still wondered to those good old days, the places we went to, and funny enough I forgot about you. I never got to say sweet words or appreciate your action but thank you for being the best year of my life, I was genuinely happy. A friendly advice to whoever is reading this, if you like someone please tell them, you either get accepted or rejected but at least make your feelings known to them<3

2025-08-14

If you are happy, I’m happy.

One of my male colleagues and I are so close, but the closest thing I mentioned was that I'm the one who's trying to get close to him. I think I like him a lot, but I'm not daring to tell him. I don't want to ruin the relationship between us. It was good enough for me to have him during my stressful times, happy times, busy times, and anytime I needed him. I'm so grateful. Even if in the future you're not mine, I believe you will be a good husband to your future wife like how you're treating me these days. I'm a bit jealous of whoever deserves you, but if you're happy, I'm happy too. Day by day, my day becomes more and more colorful and shines since I have you by my side. You're so good for my mental health. It was so boring when you were complaining about this and that, but it is so empty without those complaints. I want you, the person who is giving me these good feelings, to feel them as well; to feel loved by someone; to feel treated well; and to be my lover, so I don't have to worry about your future wife. Thank you for being there for me during my hard times. I really appreciated every moment I had with you.