2025-08-14
Psychopath or Loyal, I don't know..
This is my true story which I haven't told anyone beside one person...
Let start from 2011, when I was 13 years old. I met a girl in my Chinese class, she was 2 years younger than me, she was a energetic, outgoing and have cheerful spirit. Our first met start by arguing with each other about her friend's table space (we were just kids XD). Then I start falling for her. However, I was overage mature, I started thinking that we both are too young, and we wont go far even if we start. Then I start suppressing my own feeling and start to feel dead inside and I became cold and speak less and less.
3 years later, we graduated from the Chinese school (Grade 9th). During the year, I also feel that she is also into me but I still think that we both were too young (at that time, I even imagined we both falling for each other and start a family, silly me XD) and slowly, I was pushing her away while I were hurting my own feeling. I planned to confess 2 years later if we both make it to the final graduated, but she dropped out and I were still hopelessly falling for her.
I didn't let thing stop there, I started stalking on the social media but never have the courage to talk to her and slowly we became stranger. During the years, she started to falling into relationships and broke up over and over again, I saw her got her heart broken and it broke mine as well. How can you bear to see the person you fell in love with getting hurt again and again. Through that experience, she started to change, she started using bad words, drinking, going to club.etc. and she became a completely different person I once knew. I don't blame her for that, anyone would fall to that after got in to multiple toxic relationships.
During that time, I used to told this story to my female friend and she promised me to keep it as secret and she did. That female friend also have a feeling for me but got rejected. How can you love other person when you got one deep down in the bottom of your heart. I know it hurts you alot, but please forgive me. I apologized from the bottom of my heart. I wish you met someone who would love you as much as a human heart can do. I dont want to intrude you with my story. Sorry again.
Back to the story, at the time I'm writing all this, she is in her latest relationship and I wish her all the best, I hope this relationship will lead to marriage. I wish you would live a happy life. You don't deserve pain. I apologized for not being there when you suffered from all the pain you encountered. You have changed from the person I once knew to a completely different person. but my love for you won't change. Because of all that I can't fall in love easily, I start to fear the terms love.
I shall put an end to this pathetic story, may be I should free myself from you and start to fall in love again (it wont the same as last time) but I will give my all in my next relationship, I wont let the person I love suffer the way we did.
From the person who crushed you for 11 years...
Have a good life.
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