From gech,
I’m really happy to see all my friends and people around me are slowly but gradually figuring their life out; while I’m still here, imagine myself dying every way possible. What a GREAT life! #kayyy_4993
I felt inspired by watching the rain through my bedroom’s window with my light off. What if the rain were just like us human when crying? Those droplets were just like our tears. Those rumbled thunder was just like us yelling out for help, and those lighting strikes were like us trying to hurt ourselves. It would be unfair if so. Instead of having friends staying besides to comfort like human, the rain doesn’t. Even worse, people would just run away as fast as they can just to avoid it; they get scared, cover their ears even eyes, and curse when they see or hear it thundering. I am one of them too. I get scared and cover my ears when hearing ones. But now, by sitting in my room and considering it, I feel sorry for it. Imagine having no one to turn to or understand you when you need them, and that’s how the sky feels right now. It has been hiding its pain for so long that it couldn’t hold it back anymore, so it had to let it out by pouring rain on us, hopelessly crying and asking for help. That’s why I sit here in my room looking at you and admire you from afar without you noticing or even knowing that I exist. You are doing a great job. Yes! Let it all out; however, I can’t assure you that there won’t be any day like this again, but one step at a time. Remember all those days that the sun was burning all of the creatures on earth while you were their savior? You gave us rain, shades, and good days to us. We are grateful for that. You know what? Without you raining (crying and getting things out of your chest), the presence of rainbow means nothing at all. Therefore, look at those good things you have done for us to keep you going. #sciencefailed
I’m really happy to see all my friends and people around me are slowly but gradually figuring their life out; while I’m still here, imagine myself dying every way possible. What a GREAT life! #kayyy_4993
I'm not a model, but I'm educated. I'm witty. I like to travel. I'm interesting. I do great things on my own, but I'm still lonely. My friends think I don't try, but I do. I ask guys out but they don't follow up. I had a good dating life...in that I dated amazing guys, but lately I haven't had relationship in almost two year. I miss it, a lot. Now and again, I have those dark thoughts of 'what's wrong with me?'. Well, there's nothing wrong with me. I'm great. But I am also alone. I feel like people in my life look to me as a source of strength, because in most facets of my life I am very independent. I feel like a fraud. I feel like I need to admit to myself that I am very lonely.
Since you left I never had a good day. I changed. The pain change me. I let the pain control me. I keep compare myself to others. I can't make myself happy. I lose interest in everything. I tried to find someone to replace you. But I just can't get over you. My heart still want you. But ik I have no more chance. I couldn't even have a second chance. I'm trying to love myself. But why is it so hard? I never been like that before. I want myself back. I regret that we used to date each other. But I never regret the time that we used to spend together. I missed you. But I don't want to miss. I want to forget you. I just wish I could end up my pain. It's really annoying. I'm still love you as always.
អ្វីដែលជារបស់យើង វាគង់តែក្លាយជារបស់យើង ទោះបីមានឧបសគ្គរាំងផ្លូវច្រើនយ៉ាងណាក៏ដោយ ។ រឿងអ្វីដែលគង់តែកើតឡើង វាក៏គង់តែកើតឡើងនៅវេលាណាមួយ បើទោះបីជាយើងព្យាយាមពង្វាងផ្លូវរាប់ឆ្នាំហើយក៏ដោយ ។ ការដោះលែងគេ ប្រៀបបីដូចជាការដោះលែងខ្លួនឯង ឱ្យចាកចេញពីគុកនៃសម្ពាធដ៏តឹងតែងមួយ ។
I know we both had a hard time. I am sorry for everything that I had done. Wish I could turn back time to the good old days. Wish everything could turn back to day we laugh together at stupid things. I know you might not be to move on now. It broke me into pieces knowing that you've been crying because of me. The more I think of how much you've been hurting, the more I hated myself. I will always love you. I hope one day, I'm not sure when but I hope it's soon, we will be back to where we were. Continue where we paused and start all over again with stronger deeper connection. And I see ....
''It never stops hurting, does it?" ''What?" "Giving someone the best of you and watching them choose someone else."
Today is a good day.
We started to know each other at the University by our mutual friends a year after enrolling the University. Our class were next door and we were complete stranger. We completely came from different world. Her friends got a project. I was asked to help. We became friend at first but not really closed one. Months later, I started to care, to curious, to chase, and to chat to her. I didn't know that it was a beginning of catching feelings for someone since I have never had one. I was pretty annoying her by some of my actions because I didn't know how I should do to express my feelings. I was unreasonably angry at her when she ignored me like I was invisible. Unfortunately, I changed class to another shift. We separated. I did miss her. Whenever, she asked me for help. I never said "NO" because I made me happy for helping her. I thought alone that she would have feelings for me, too. And yeah, it was one-sided love from me. She was already in relationship with someone whom I knew at that time. My heart broke into pieces. I cried without being aware of it was a heart broken feelings. I pretended to congrats her and be laughing in front of her. Years passed by, we didn't contact. She only chatted to me once she needed helps. Still, I didn't reject any requests. She sent me some songs, yet I didn't realize what the meaning of sending a song. I asked her why she sent me songs. She said "nothing" just send to me and listen. I was so dumb or I thought that she was in relationship. I shouldn't care about her anymore. She may be breaking up with someone I know. And, getting into another relationship. I also realized that. I always kept my distance just don't want to hurt myself more than before. She did reply to my story sometimes. I didn't reply much as before. Yeah, my feelings for her still remains the same until now and it's been 4 years. I met new people. Those closed friends told me that I should move on and opens for new one because she didn't have any feelings for me as they can assume of my storytelling. We both don't cut each other off. We are still contacting. We sometimes talk deeper, flirting, and argue. However, I don't really want to express my feeling because I don't know whether she is available. Whatever, I still care, love, stand behind her, buy her food. I do everything I could do for her in the name of her friend. You will always be in my heart, my friend. 👩❤️👩