Pain

Since you left I never had a good day. I changed. The pain change me. I let the pain control me. I keep compare myself to others. I can't make myself happy. I lose interest in everything. I tried to find someone to replace you. But I just can't get over you. My heart still want you. But ik I have no more chance. I couldn't even have a second chance. I'm trying to love myself. But why is it so hard? I never been like that before. I want myself back. I regret that we used to date each other. But I never regret the time that we used to spend together. I missed you. But I don't want to miss. I want to forget you. I just wish I could end up my pain. It's really annoying. I'm still love you as always.

Feeling bottled up?

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2025-08-14

"best thing"

I dont know how it started and why it turn out this way. I wanna keep you at any cost even as the closest friend but it seems like I could never be enough for anyone. I dont want you to call me "best friend" since the last time someone called me best and all they do is ghosted me and I dont think u want me to be ur best friend too. I dont even have a chance to ask what is going wrong since I respect their space but you know deep down inside I wonder about all those memories, all the hardest times I have faced and shared with you, is it real. I dont know but I feel ache every time ppl say I was the best thing that happened to them, did they really mean it or just bc I was there for them whenever they needed me. I miss every game we used to play, meme we used to share, chessboard when u ask me to play chess. I could not listen to our fav song anymore, could not open up to anyone anymore. I wonder is it for character development since I never dare to go out of my comfort zone,u know how hard it is to go out and make a new friend at this age. no one pay attention when i say words only you pay those small things. can we just go back to those old times?

2025-08-14

my fault

Am I that toxic? I know we are just friends, you were just helping. I thought it was something more, I started showing you signs then you backed away. Should I keep going forward or just stop and leave everything?
2025-08-14

My love is like sea and lake don't mix

So I started high school, and for the first year I felt like a total outsider. But then I met some amazing people who made me happier than I had ever been. We all became super tight in that first year, and I managed to win over one of them to the point where she fell for me. But here's the thing: I'm gay. I didn't want to fake anything, so I had to end it. It was done in two weeks, and both of us were hurt. I know it's not as tragic as some of the other stories out there, and she has definitely moved on by now, but what kills me is that I lost one of my best friends. It was tough because we were part of a big group of friends, so we kept seeing each other throughout the rest of high school. To make it even more complicated, our moms became besties. And every time we saw each other, there was this awkward invisible wall between us. I acted like I didn't care, and she didn't seem to either, but for some reason I just can't let go. Even though I'm gay, I still think I could have been in love with her. In fact, I think I still am. We crossed paths again at a New Year's party. We exchanged a few meaningless words at the start, but even after we got pretty drunk, nothing happened. I keep having dreams about her since then, where we're friends again and we're just hanging out with other people. It's such a warm and comforting feeling. But I know it's something that I won't ever get to experience again for real.
2025-08-14

Guys only target "អ្នកមានសង្សារ" because...

Instead of it being a mind game, it's a "number game". No one like competition when they will lose to many. When a girl is in a relationship, there's only one guy to fight over. As simple as that, fewer guys, less competition. Plus, isn't it more thrilling to win over that one guy who wins over the other guys? #shedeservestwoboyfriends

2025-08-14

Always you!

To you my priority, since the day you left, I’m certain that I’m not the same person as I used to be. I’m sure that my feeling right now isn’t okay and it hurts me the most. I wanted to let you know that, you’re the only one who made me know what love is, you’re the only one who made me feel warm and secure while I was with you, you’re the only one that my love for you is still the same since our first day until now, you’re the only one whom I have any plans for the future. All of the sacrifices, efforts, and times that I put in, I didn’t expect anything in return, other than your love and dedication. I did everything just to make you feel that you’re the only one that got all of those things from me, not everyone else. I did everything just to make you feel happy, warm, and comfortable. I’ve never stopped daydreaming about how I’m going to build my life, buy my first house, first car with you, and marry you one day. You know what? I see you every two weeks, and when I return home I feel as if I've lost something that no one or nothing can replace. I had the feeling that I was leaving something behind that would never come back. I miss you, I'm upset, I didn’t want to return home, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. You’re the only one, when I’m having fun and all I could think of is what if you were right here with me? I’d go on trips and while living in the moment, I allowed my imaginations to get ahead of me and I was able to picture you beside me and I got that feeling of “how nice would it be for you to be here with me”. To me, you’re perfect. To me, you’re beautiful as always in my eyes. I’m grateful you came into my life, I’m grateful for everything you’ve done for me. My love for you hasn't changed, and no one can take your place in my heart, my mind, and my brain. And I’m so sorry for what I’ve done to you. Sorry that I can’t keep you by my side. I’m still hoping everyday that you will come back to me again. You’re special to me. I’m so proud to have you in my life. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Your photo is still in my wallet, and your picture is still on my lock screen wallpaper. I wrote these letters with a song that I used to sing for you, When you’re home - Tyler Shaw. It’s 3AM now and I’m still thinking about you. I hope you will come back to me! #NL

2025-08-14

If we’re really meant to be, we’ll meet again:)

Maybe this lifetime isn’t for us. I just hope you will be happy with your marriage. After all these years, I am the only one who fooled myself into this hopeless love. You did it. You made me feel like a fool. I had caught myself smiling while texting you, waiting for you and now? Now you’re with someone else and even getting married? How am I supposed to feel. That moment when you told me about the date of your marriage, what was I supposed to tell you? Congratulations? I don’t even know how to feel now. It felt so real for me, but I guess we just end up as best friend even after everything we’ve had together. You even told me that I will and always be the one? No one will ever replace me? I have no right to do anything except congrats you, seeing you be happy with someone else. Thank you for everything. Thanks for making me feel so special even if you don’t mean it. Because I will never not think about you.
2025-08-14

Wish we were a happy family

I have been through almost what life could have put me through, but dealing with the family members, are really the tough one. I wish we could have been warmer. Wish you were here with me, my dear sister.
2025-08-14

Are We Really FRIENDS?

We started to know each other at the University by our mutual friends a year after enrolling the University. Our class were next door and we were complete stranger. We completely came from different world. Her friends got a project. I was asked to help. We became friend at first but not really closed one. Months later, I started to care, to curious, to chase, and to chat to her. I didn't know that it was a beginning of catching feelings for someone since I have never had one. I was pretty annoying her by some of my actions because I didn't know how I should do to express my feelings. I was unreasonably angry at her when she ignored me like I was invisible. Unfortunately, I changed class to another shift. We separated. I did miss her. Whenever, she asked me for help. I never said "NO" because I made me happy for helping her. I thought alone that she would have feelings for me, too. And yeah, it was one-sided love from me. She was already in relationship with someone whom I knew at that time. My heart broke into pieces. I cried without being aware of it was a heart broken feelings. I pretended to congrats her and be laughing in front of her. Years passed by, we didn't contact. She only chatted to me once she needed helps. Still, I didn't reject any requests. She sent me some songs, yet I didn't realize what the meaning of sending a song. I asked her why she sent me songs. She said "nothing" just send to me and listen. I was so dumb or I thought that she was in relationship. I shouldn't care about her anymore. She may be breaking up with someone I know. And, getting into another relationship. I also realized that. I always kept my distance just don't want to hurt myself more than before. She did reply to my story sometimes. I didn't reply much as before. Yeah, my feelings for her still remains the same until now and it's been 4 years. I met new people. Those closed friends told me that I should move on and opens for new one because she didn't have any feelings for me as they can assume of my storytelling. We both don't cut each other off. We are still contacting. We sometimes talk deeper, flirting, and argue. However, I don't really want to express my feeling because I don't know whether she is available. Whatever, I still care, love, stand behind her, buy her food. I do everything I could do for her in the name of her friend. You will always be in my heart, my friend. 👩‍❤️‍👩