My love is like sea and lake don't mix

So I started high school, and for the first year I felt like a total outsider. But then I met some amazing people who made me happier than I had ever been. We all became super tight in that first year, and I managed to win over one of them to the point where she fell for me. But here's the thing: I'm gay. I didn't want to fake anything, so I had to end it. It was done in two weeks, and both of us were hurt. I know it's not as tragic as some of the other stories out there, and she has definitely moved on by now, but what kills me is that I lost one of my best friends. It was tough because we were part of a big group of friends, so we kept seeing each other throughout the rest of high school. To make it even more complicated, our moms became besties. And every time we saw each other, there was this awkward invisible wall between us. I acted like I didn't care, and she didn't seem to either, but for some reason I just can't let go. Even though I'm gay, I still think I could have been in love with her. In fact, I think I still am. We crossed paths again at a New Year's party. We exchanged a few meaningless words at the start, but even after we got pretty drunk, nothing happened. I keep having dreams about her since then, where we're friends again and we're just hanging out with other people. It's such a warm and comforting feeling. But I know it's something that I won't ever get to experience again for real.

Feeling bottled up?

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2025-08-14

Waiting...

កាលពីឆ្នាំ 2019 ខ្ញុំបានសុបិនឃើញមនុស្សម្នាក់ដែលខ្ញុំមិនធ្លាប់ស្គាល់សោះ ជួបគេនៅកន្លែងដែលមិនស្គាល់ដូចគ្នា!ក្នុងសុបិន្តនោះ គេមិនបង្ហាញមុខឲ្យខ្ញុំឃើញទេ គ្រាន់តែបែខ្នង... it's really strange, because I never dreamed anyone who I never know. ពេលនោះក៏មិនចាប់អារម្មណ៍ គ្រាន់តែគិតថា ប្រហែលអារម្មណ៍មកពីណាមិនដឹងដែលឲ្យសុបិនបែបនេះ។ ខ្ញុំក៏បំភ្លេចវាទៅ... តែថ្មីៗនេះ ចុងឆ្នាំ2021 ខ្ញុំបែរជាសុបិនម្ដងទៀត វាចម្លែកដូចគ្នា ឃើញមនុស្សម្នាក់ដែលមិនធ្លាប់ស្គាល់ តែលើកនេះឃើញគេពីចំហៀងវិញ...ពេលភ្ញាក់មក មិនចាប់អារម្មណ៍ខ្លាំងទេ! បន្ទាប់មកចាប់ផ្តើមគិត Why this dream really strange? Have I seen this person before?? ចម្លើយគឺជា ម្នាក់ដែលខ្ញុំសុបិនកាលពី ២ ឆ្នាំមុន! ( ខ្ញុំមិនច្បាស់ទេថាគេបាននិយាយអីឬអត់ តែកាយវិការដែលគេបង្ហាយ ខ្ញុំអាចដឹងបានថាគេកំពុងចាំ ហើយឲ្យខ្ញុំចាំដូចគ្នា!) ខ្ញុំមិនដឹងថាវាពិតឬអត់ ហើយអ្នកទាំងអស់គ្នាជឿឬអត់ទេ តែខ្ញុំគ្រាន់តែគិតថាខ្ញុំនឹងជួបគេថ្ងៃណាមួយ! To that person : " Waiting " is the word that reminded me every day. No matter what, no matter where and who u are, if both dreams are real, I wish to see u. However, when that time comes u have someone or don't I'm still waiting. Just want to see u is enough!! Remember me! I'm still waiting u...!
2025-08-14

How to decide?

I told you to wait for me, it only 10 months and I will come back. But thing doesn't turn out as I planned and Im stuck with my life decision right now. So our relationship started when I moved to a country for my Master Degree. She is my junior in my faculty and we been dated for 1 year and half. She was the best thing that ever happened to me, she was everything I ever imagine in a girl. My friends told me that my life is like a k-drama series because I was never been that happy before. After almost a year of dating our relationship getting hard, you accused me as a cheater while I just did exactly what u asked me to do. You was telling me you want to get married and live a normal life like other girls and told me to start looking for someone else. My heart broke into pieces everytime I heard those words from you, I couldn't endure the pain somehow. So I was started talking to someone else while feeling really guilty to you. You caught me texting with someone else, guess what now u feel what I feel now? You asked for a break up but does not we already broke up? After a series of drama we made up ,thanks to Covid-19 for made up stuck in a house together. But the problem now I almost finished my study and I need to get back to my country. I told you I will continue my study, just wait for 10 months I will get back after I get a scholarship. I didn't understand my self y I have to grind so hard for a relationship that already broken. Even I know at the end you will not choose me, even I know u still keep texting other person. I still remember ur sobbing face when u send me off at airport, our last hug, our last meal at airport. Now 6 months had passed, I has moved to my country and it was very hard in the first few months when I was the only person who wanna keep this relationship. Even I used to get " I miss you" text from u a few times and It made me very happy but deep down I knew things changed and we ended. You told me to move on and be happy since you alr start dating someone. I don't know how to feel happy hearing this. After a severe heartache, I tell my self I wont go back to that place again and I wont let anyone hurt me again. Now I moved on, happy with my life, I able to imagine my life without u in it until I got an email telling me that I was offered a scholarship. It is a great news yes it a scholarship I prayed for before , it was a dream come true and it is a ticket for me to find you. But my head mess up, I can't decide should I accept or reject? Should I leave things I have built here and go back to suffer again? PhD is sound fancy but it also a very lonely journey and suffocation. Plus I want to build my life without u involve in it, I don't want to feel those pain again. But this time I will made a decision for me, a life decision without u involve in it... PS: We both are girls.

2025-08-14

Nightmare

I have a secret that I need to tell. A secret that has made me live in hell. It was quite a long time ago, I was s€xual harassed by someone I trusted and thought of as family. I alternated between guilt for let it happened, feeling dirty and unable to get clean. I haven’t told my parents or his parents because I’m sacred of victims blaming culture in this society. I don’t even told my friends about it either not because of victims blaming but I just can’t talking about it. Lately, something so miniscule triggered me and it’s unbearable. It ended up being connected to my nightmare again and it changed my quality of life. I thought that it was no longer bothered me anymore but it doesn’t. I’m terrified every time I smells the same cologne that he used. I went through “I hate all men” phase. It’s certainly changed my view of men, I’ll be never be able to look at men entirely the same way again. It’s my first time to talk about it since it has happened. Thanks, admin for letting me share it with KnongJit.

2025-08-14

Unpopular opinions

I believe that living together before marriage is necessary. Living with a non-family member is really difficult. yet, living with family members sucks, too. The next level in every relationship is marriage, where people hope to stay together for the rest of their life. I highly recommend living together before getting married. Some of y’all gonna judge me for this but my boyfriend and I are living together for almost a year now but we have been dating for almost 6 years. I have told myself that I would never get married unless we had been living together for 3 years at least. Loving someone and living with someone are two different things. You are two mature adults with habits and lifestyles of your own, its easy to say you know each other very well just dating. As we all know that in Asian households that couples or even fiancé are not living together. I don't know maybe I'm just too modern, I find this ridiculous. Why would you marry someone who you've never lived with? Sure you might think you know their habits but do you really? Now I'm sure someone will argue that many couples moved from their parent's home straight to their new home as a married person. And that these couples usually ended up staying together. But we also have to acknowledge that divorce was not as accepted as it is today. I know that we have “ culture “ but do you really want a surprise? That surprise will result in either "I like it" or "I hate it". You are betting on "I like it", but it's 50/50, so it could also be, "I hate it", which could make you miserable for the rest of your life or this marriage level may not be so permanent. And you know what would happens when you’re divorced? You’re being blamed and pressured from the culture especially when you’re a female. Most of our parents disapproved it because of “ s€x “ but if some of us gotten to know more about S€x Education, it would be just fine. some of us are sensitive about that topic, I know.

2025-08-14

Imposter Syndrome

I feel that every single day and I hate it. I hate myself for having that feeling when I'm supposed to feel so grateful for whatever I have right now. People around me are all so successful and smart and everything and I look like a clown by existing everyday. I freaking hate it.

2025-08-14

- More then friend, Less than lovers

Incapable to keep you by my side but just to let you know that my heart was once yours . - To Sok Heang

2025-08-14

The saddest thing …

The saddest thing in the world is loving someone who used to love you :)))

2025-08-14

If I told you my feelings, would you feel the same?

My story is similar to your chapter 20. I have a friend and we both are girls. We kinda keep our lives low-key so no one really knows what’s going on in our lives (personal problems and stuff) except that we told each other our stories. It all began when my life had fallen in the darkness where I pushed everyone away and I didn’t even talk to anyone but not until she was there for me. She gave me the kind of feelings that I’d never had before. Not once in my life had felt like that with anyone although I have many friends. She told me that she would look at her phone for 24hours just to waiting for me to reply her texts. But then things started to falling apart. We would just stop talking for no reason. Instead of talking to each other, we just assumed if the other one was okay or not. It’s really toxic I know even we tried to talk about it, it was still getting worse. I kept wondering “is she okay?” “what if she tries to do something bad?”. I would stalk all her social media accounts and then I noticed her bio. So if we wanted to say something during the time that we ignored each other, we would change our bio. After months and months, I realised that I actually got attached to her. I needed her validation. Unlike anyone else, she made me feel so special. But the thing is I don’t understand this feeling. I wasn’t sure if she would feel the same way. I thought it’s just impossible cause we’re best friends and I didn’t wanna ruin this great friendship that I have ever had in my entire life. The connection was just different from others. The connection wouldn’t last so long. I still feel the same but I don’t know about hers. We’re like strangers with many unforgettable memories now. However, thanks to her for being a huge part of my life. Thank you.