To the man who would put me first before anything else

I have never realized how painful it is to be avoided by someone who once could easily brighten my day up by just showing up in front of me. To the man who would put me first before anything else, do you recollect the moments we spent together? How have you been doing after the day we no longer talked to one another? Could I ask for those days to happen once again? And could you call one last time so that I don’t regret not picking up your phone the last time you called me? You have every reason to hate me, but you can’t expect me to do the same. I’m good at hiding my feeling but that doesn’t mean my heart is not breaking seeing you attempting to avoid me at all cost.

Feeling bottled up?

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Realization

It's been a while since our last conversation, at first I've gone through many hardships and confusion, wondering what was the real reason. After some time have passed I've come to the realization stage where I realized many things. I realized what is the thing that makes you upset, the words I could say, and the actions that I could do to make things better. I understand why you always want me to change. I'm so happy to see that you're doing well with your life journey right now. I wish that one day you can open up for me once again and I'll make sure that you meet a better version of me. I don't want you to build me for another person.

Respect my boundaries.

A couple days ago I accidentally see my boyfriend’s liked video on TikTok and surprisingly that most of them are girls. He also followed them on instagram. I thought they’re his friends, classmates…but I as wrong. He saw them on TikTok and then started following them on instagram. To be clear, this isn’t about liking the pictures, it’s about the fact that I’ve asked him to stop. Clearly it crosses some boundary to me. He also told me that “ it’s not a big deal, I’m being insecure, every guys did that “. Does all the guys do the same ?? Following random girls on instagram after they have seen them on TikTok?? P.S we’ve been dating for a decent amount of time and I regretted that I checked his following on instagram just for a sake to break my heart…

A letter to the one that got away

You will never see this. I wish I could telepathize what I have always been hiding inside my heart to you right now. It is unbelievable that I lost you just like that. We created a lot beautiful memories together. You were my precious person. You gave me warmth. You gave me courage. You made me feel the luckiest. I was so proud to have you by my side. I was so happy. I still can’t accept the fact that you left me in the middle of the road after a very long way we had walked side by side. You left a heavy mark on me and now I have to put fences around it because I am scare to let someone get close to it. I really hope this footprint will fade away someday. Now, I am wondering. How beautiful and amazing it could have turned out if we were here together right now? I really want to see how strong and wise you could have become. I have always wanted to see the grownup version of you. We could have completed our bucket lists together. We could have had a great journey of adulthood together. Our precious moment could have been much more than this. Yet, at the end of the day, past should be left behind and life should go on. Perhaps, in the parallel universe, we are having the best moment right now. Maybe I will see you again in another life with no regrets like this. I guess, I will see you there. I hope to see you there. - owl

Move on or waiting?

I hope u read this kmeng komhoch🤣 this name maybe can help remind you who was called you like this. It's been 4months that we haven't talked to each other. How have you been? How is ur mental health? U might be find someone else, be with someone else or losing feeling on me I guess. Also as I knew from my friends they told me that you came back to Khmer? In this 4months I still can't move on from you, can't get you out of my mind even I tried everyday to make myself busy, tryna stopped thinking about you but can't, I really can't. Just know that I love you a lot. We don't even have a lot of memories with each other but why are you so hard for me to unlove u? My friend said "យូរខែហេីយសុខៗទៅចឹងមិនបាននិយាយគ្នា គេមិនបានស្រឡាញ់ហែងទេកុំភ្លេីពេក" and idiot me still here just waiting for that person. Still praying the best for him every day to get everything he worked so hard for.

Unpopular OPINIONS

Am I being third wheel again? I ask myself. I still can’t move on and you’ve been in a healthy relationship. Why did you ask me to be your best friend after all these times? Why did I even agree with this? You said you love me and I’m the best person, ur soulmate but why did you break up with me and ask me to be your best friend instead? I know it’s been along time and why did you text and call me when you feel so down ( u told me because I am the only person who u feel comfort to)?? While you were in a relationship with someone else? I won’t deny it, I always love you and I feel so wrong. All my friends said how stupid I am and one day I will meet someone else who will hold my hand till the end of my life , I try to move on and believe that. I wish you could feel open with ur current gf tell her everything you’ve been through I’m sure she would understand you way better then me. To myself also I wish I can leave you behind and I don’t think we can be friends because I still have some feelings for you, trust me I will try my best for letting you go. Wish you the best ✨ To : mysoulmatewhoicanbewith

Ignore green flag but get lost with red flag

I hate myself that I still see red flag whom I put everything into it but it doesn’t seem any development. But I do ignore green flag whom always ask me about my 3 meals per days, the first one that come to his mind after he woke up and sent me good morning every morning and good night text before he go to sleep, to ask how my day was, how tiring am I after work, did I get home safe, can he have this or this, replies to my every freaking stories…..etc. But I actually ignored him just for the red flag whom I only get his texts when he’s drunk or h-rny because we both do! Also I’m always waiting his text, his replies, and sometime I heard the things that I shouldn’t have to hear it. But I do. Is there anyone who relate to this? And did u overcome it? If yes, how? And if not, hope we’d overcome it sooner.

My Bullshit

I'm sorry that you have to deal with my bullshit. I didn't realize I have a lot of bullshit. I'm not that type of person, I swear. You raised your voice saying “ I'm dealing with your bullshit everyday, dealing with your bullshit is tiring. I thought you were not that type of person.”. I'm sorry, I was just telling you how my day was like how you always tell me about yours. I didn't mean to rant on you or maybe I sounded like one and if so, I thought you would listen to me and comfort me like other couples do but it's okay as long as you still love me, I don't mind. I was blinded by the illusion of you that I created in my mind.

I hope you're happier now.

It seems to me like you couldn't wait to finally getting rid of me...I was hoping you'd ask me to stay after all the shits we've been through and after all these months I've spent suffering in silent but you didn't mind losing me at all You would rather start afresh with someone new than to make things right between us I really did believe you when you gave me your word Never once did I question you and your intentions...I thought I knew you by heart and you wouldn't do anything to hurt me...I defended you to everyone Now I'm left feeling like I'm constantly dying