A letter to the one that got away

You will never see this. I wish I could telepathize what I have always been hiding inside my heart to you right now. It is unbelievable that I lost you just like that. We created a lot beautiful memories together. You were my precious person. You gave me warmth. You gave me courage. You made me feel the luckiest. I was so proud to have you by my side. I was so happy. I still can’t accept the fact that you left me in the middle of the road after a very long way we had walked side by side. You left a heavy mark on me and now I have to put fences around it because I am scare to let someone get close to it. I really hope this footprint will fade away someday. Now, I am wondering. How beautiful and amazing it could have turned out if we were here together right now? I really want to see how strong and wise you could have become. I have always wanted to see the grownup version of you. We could have completed our bucket lists together. We could have had a great journey of adulthood together. Our precious moment could have been much more than this. Yet, at the end of the day, past should be left behind and life should go on. Perhaps, in the parallel universe, we are having the best moment right now. Maybe I will see you again in another life with no regrets like this. I guess, I will see you there. I hope to see you there. - owl

Feeling bottled up?

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I think I started to have a crush on my friend.

We’ve been hanging out together about 4 years now but he and I never think of anything more than friend. I like to tease him sometimes before about being in relationship but it doesn’t mean I have that kind of feeling with him and I think he feel annoyed about me teasing him but who care lol. For some reasons, I think he’s really hate me at some points because I’m kinda immature and of course annoying and always mad and yes he never ទ្រ me because why would he care if I’m mad? Lol. However, we both still talking and still friend. It just this recently (read the title), just maybe, let’s just put it like this. I don’t think he has feeling for me because he doesn’t really care about me and doesn’t really care to reply to my text for all these years only if he wants to. He probably chat with others because I used to caught him. Or he probably study. He’s smarter than me too. But well even if he also has feeling for me I’m not sure whether it’s possible for us to date too due to some reasons which also include my knowledge, I think, because I’m not as smart as him. And other reasons.

Is it wrong?

We both broke up because there a third person in the relationship… now we’re seeing each other behind the third person back… i know it bad, but i don’t feel bad… is it wrong?

M

called mom and told her I‘ve been struggling with my mental health And she called me weak

Hi

How are you?

It’s okay…

It's okay for you to miss the person who hurt you, but it's not okay for you to let that person hurt you again. It's okay for you to talk to the person who doesn't deserve you, but it's not okay for you to give that person another chance. It's okay for you to think about the person who lied to you, but it's not okay for you to believe that person can be trusted. It's okay for you to be friends with the person who played you, but it's not okay for you to hope that this person is capable of being loyal. It's okay for you to be there for the person who made you more miserable than happy, but it's not okay for you to expect that it's gonna be different if nothing ever changed. It's okay for you to still care about the person who took you for granted, but it's not okay for you to put yourself back in a position for that person to make you feel unappreciated. Don't let someone who did you wrong make you feel like there's something wrong with you. Don't devalue yourself just because someone didn't know your value. Know your worth even when that person doesn't.

តើនេះជានិស្ស័យ រឺក៏ជាការគិតងែម្ខាងរបស់ខ្ញុំ?

ខ្ញុំបានទៅហាងកាហ្វេមួយកន្លែងនៅក្រុងភ្នំពេញចំនួនបួនដង ហើយបានជួបនារីម្នាក់ទាំងបួនដង។ ពេលដែលពួកយើងឃើញគ្នាគឺពួកយើងតែងតែសម្លឹងមើលមុខគ្នាគ្រប់ពេល ថ្ងៃមួយខ្ញុំក៏មានឪកាសអង្គុយតុក្បែរគាត់ ខ្ញុំតែងតែលួចសម្លឹងមើលមុខគាត់រហូត ដល់ពេលមួយគាត់ក៏បានសួរខ្ញុំថា បងមានម៉ាសសល់មួយទៀតទេ ខ្ញុំក៏បានឆ្លើយថា អត់មានទេ។ ហើយគាត់បាននិយាយថាចឹងចាំគាត់ដើរទៅរកនៅក្រៅហាង តែខ្ញុំឃើញគាត់អត់មានម៉ាស ខ្ញុំក៏បានប្រាប់គាត់ថាចាំខ្ញុំទៅរកអោយហើយគាត់ក៏ព្រម ពេលដែលខ្ញុំរកបានហើយក៏ខ្ញុំយកអោយគាត់ គាត់ក៏អរគុណខ្ញុំ។ ហើយពួកយើងក៏មកផ្ទះរៀងៗខ្លួនទៅ។ តើនេះជានិស្ស័យ រឺក៏ជាអ្វីទើបខ្ញុំនៅតែនឹកឃើញរឿងនេះក្នុងចិត្តខ្ញុំរហូត?

Final Chapter of Your Character in My Life

Regret? I'd say no. Because deep down I know you chose the right path. Pain? I'd say no. Because when I see how happy you are without my standing beside you, 'who am I to say "It's hurt." if you're happy?'--I ask. Miss? I'd say no. Because it would make no sense that someone, who hurt you, approaches you and say "I miss you". Love? Oh lord, No. It doesn't make any sense to love something you shattered, right? The only question to which I'd say yes is: "Is this the last time we talk to each other?" I'm not in a position to regret, miss, love, or even complain about the pain I've been going through. But at least I'm happy. I'm happy to know that I can no longer hurt you, and you're happy--even if someone else is the reason for that happiness.

It’s alright

I’ve seen a lot of post about suicidal thought and people trying to commit the act. I just want to tell those of you who are struggling out there that “it’s alright”. It’s alright, I’ve been through this before as well. Although I’ve never been that suicidal, the thought of “if my life ends, then many problems and burdens will be solved” did cross my mind. It takes a lot of willpower and strength to get through this phase as I would shut myself inside my room all day and night and on social media during my high school years. There were times I was upset with my parents, of them blaming me, and scolding me for various mundane things that happen in our everyday life. However, I want to tell you that it’s alright to run to your parents and hug them with all you have, they would not mind it even if you guys are currently in an argument. It’s alright to tell your friends and others “I cannot do this anymore. I’m tired and wanna be left alone”. It’s alright to feel overwhelmed and go through this phase, I believe we have gone through this teenage and young adult phase at least once in our lives. I am not telling you that suicide is wrong and you shouldn’t do it, I am trying to say that it should be your very last option. Wallow in your tears, your sadness, your stress, your burdens, your self-pity all you want. Most people blame themselves for not being good enough rather than actually addressing their fears and inhibitions. Perhaps it is easier to ignore all that is happening around you. I am not entertaining nor romanticizing suicidal thought, but if you still cannot find a better option or a better way to live your life, then it is alright to end it.