Ignore green flag but get lost with red flag

I hate myself that I still see red flag whom I put everything into it but it doesn’t seem any development. But I do ignore green flag whom always ask me about my 3 meals per days, the first one that come to his mind after he woke up and sent me good morning every morning and good night text before he go to sleep, to ask how my day was, how tiring am I after work, did I get home safe, can he have this or this, replies to my every freaking stories…..etc. But I actually ignored him just for the red flag whom I only get his texts when he’s drunk or h-rny because we both do! Also I’m always waiting his text, his replies, and sometime I heard the things that I shouldn’t have to hear it. But I do. Is there anyone who relate to this? And did u overcome it? If yes, how? And if not, hope we’d overcome it sooner.

Feeling bottled up?

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Slowly, you started pushing me away.

You know what happens to the person who you are pushing away? They’re starting to question themselves, their worth and feels so insignificant and powerless. I, myself questioned myself “ am I not good enough “. You know how much it hurts when I tried my best to stood by you while you’re pushing me away? Is it fun to doing so? I wanted to feel needed again. I wanted you to want me like you had before. I wanted you to lean on me, but that was the impossible task for you. Despite feeling so distant from you, I was there every time you needed to talk. We went from telling each other anything and everything to complete strangers. I feel like I don’t even know you anymore. I'd been pushed so deeply that there was no coming back. We went from the funny, the goofy texts to nothing at all. I’ll never stop caring. But if you decide to push me away, I’ll stay away. You pushed me too far, too fast and I couldn’t keep chasing after you.

unfair?

Not a broken heart story, but I grew up in the most Asian household. I am one of the grandsons of my mother's side of the family. I am in my 20s, I go to one of the famous Uni in the country, but that's not where I belong I was forced to study there. OKAY here's where I started to feel UNFAIR. In my family, I am the chef, The Technician, The plumber, The electrician, The Accountant, I do almost everything. And it was underappreciated. Because not only I didn't get any appreciation, I even got scold and blame for not doing what they want. The most F up thing is I have to accompany my friend until late at night and I also have to wake up at 6 every morning even on weekend. What's worst is that I have to cancel all the plans on my birthday just to stay at home to do nothing because they said so. I was so depressed I tried to kill myself several time, and now I don't even feel pain because I lived with it. Bonus: I got nothing on my birthday, even a cake XD

Thought it was destiny

We used to know each other when we were young, but we didn’t talk much. As we grew older we’ve met again. This time it was different, we were so connected, understanding each other, having same opinion m, having same interest and having the same groups of friends. I wasn’t ready to start the relationship with him like the way he was, I was hesitate because I was scared that “ what if one day we broke up”. “ what if we were to broke up and things got awkward between us”. “ what if we had to go through pain”. These thought keeps me thinking every single day until one day he stopped. Everything ends because he had his own personal reason, he has choices to choose. That’s is when I realize I wasn’t the only one for him. Without doubt he choose someone else and this still makes me think how much I thought about “ us”. This is my story. If knongjit decide to post it please correct my writing because it is not that good and thank you I really can express my feeling without no one knowing who I am.

Please Help Stray Animals

Adopted stray cats/dogs are unlikely for some of us due to some different reasons. However, if you can afford to buy an expensive one, could you please donate some of your money to any animal rescue organization? Please at least let them to save those animals that are not lucky enough to have a home to stay safe and have enough food to eat? Many of us are animal lovers, so I hope that besides our pets at home, we can also share our love and caring to the stray ones too.

Lack of love....

Where should i start with? From which part should i start telling? Hi! I am a 19 years old girl who still get beating by a dad if i ever stand up for myself, asking for my right. I am an 19 years old girl who still to all the scolding, mocking, cursing even tho i earn my own money for 3ys already. I never feel the love that a parents should be giving to their child. They only end up make me feel insecure about myself, losing confident from time to time and end up locking myself for 1 years 6months in the house. Each time i got hit by my dad my mom stood aside watching and sometime she act like nothing happen. She never teach me to fight back she only told me to keep shut and let my dad hit me and same go to my brother when he get hit by my dad. Dad often told me he love me that why he yelling and do violence on me. He never compete his role as he dad. He never even know what i am doing each day never even appreciate my success nor being happy with my highest score, rate in any competition and class..... What can i say? Ik i'm strong and smart. But i am a girl who lack of love. Tbh i sometime feeling to proud of myself bc looking to everything i did. There never a help from my parents.

The truth is

The truth? I like you. A lot. More than I’ve like anyone for a long time. And to be honest , it kinda scares me. I don’t want to screw up what we have. Whatever it is and i’ve fallen pretty damn hard for you. I just hope whatever happens we don’t ruin what we had before and now. The truth? I love you.

Toxic

I’m clingy, moody, insecure, have trust issues, self doubt, and lots of mental breakdown, which people categorize me as “toxic”. I’m trying to change. I really do, because I’m not feeling fine and happy with all those toxic traits too. I stay up every night questioning my own worth and existing. I don’t know why am I like this. And I thought, you would stay. I thought, you were different. I thought, you would wait for me to heal. Eventually, it was all my thought. Don’t take this wrong. I’m not blaming you. I was just hoping you stayed. I hope it was you who would have been there for me, but you have never been there with me on my bad days, not even once. I’m too much to be handled. I always know.[newLine*]Let’s be honest with me one last time, what is your feeling for me the last few months we talked? Did your feeling fade away? Was it not strong? From the start? Or from when I started to show you my true self? My dark side? [newLine*] I miss you, a lot. However, I know being with me is too tiring for people, I love you so much that I don’t want you to suffer with someone like me. I hope you’re with someone better, healthier, happier. Someone who loves life, someone who will match your energy, someone who is normal.

Being with ppl pleaser is tiring

We broken up alr but we promised to still support one another when in need (mentally and physically). When I was down and feel like I need support from u the most, u never there. I’m trying to contact u, ur phone is always busy, I message u, u don’t reply, I’m desperately waiting u at school, u’re sneakingly left without me knowing and go for drinking with ur “team”. Bold of me to assumed that u changed. One of the big reason why I decided to walk away is b’cuz it’s consuming so much of my energy. I’m tired of being left alone, I’m tired of being ur second choice, I’m tired of one side communication, I’m tired of not being heard and understood, I’m tired of not feeling validated. I never feel loved, I feel miserable being with u. Whenever I feel like I’m in confusion with my feelings whether my decision was right or wrong, u always prove me that I should never go back to u, because u always make me feel like shit. It’s torturing being like this. I don’t hate u and I don’t think I will, but u always disappoint me in every way possible.