I miss me, being with you
Throw back to yr 1, I think I had the most beautiful moment crushing on someone. She's my first love, I'm just not lucky enough to make her mine. Plus I crushed on her knowing she got a boyfriend. We became close, probably because of our personalities match and had alot of things in common. I think she is a type I always ask for. We got the same age, but she is so much more mature. She cared and noticed every little thing about me. She always make me feel special. Sometimes, we hold hands in the mall and during class. She used to called me her soulmate. We are lovebird in our class. I kept rejecting, saying no when our classmates talked about us as a couple.(inside, smiling and wishing it was true) xD I really miss me being with her. I miss reading book, paying attention in class, finishing my homework, learning new things, improving my grammar, caring my own health, going to gym, eating healthy food, being kind to other, fullfiling my commitment, keep things under control, keeping my promise, calming down my anger, being a reasonable person, being okay to say sorry. I miss being a better person, just to catch her attention. I miss trying to be a person that come in package. Being an understanding, a sweet, responsible, respectful and a romantic boyfriend, that she always wanted. I remembered days, the first thing I do when I got school is looking for her white scoopy and pink helmet. Everytime I saw her motor at the parking lot, I was so happy going to class, knowing I'm going to see her in any minute soon. Till today, with a little pain in my heart, such a warming one, I still can say I'm glad not telling her about my feeling toward her. We are now still friend, kinda close as before. I got a girlfriend, and sometimes I run to her when I fight with my girlfriend. She's still the same, being an understanding one, giving advice and comfort with care. I'm glad, staying in her life in a position that I able to hear everything about her, everything she wanna talk and going through. I'm glad being a shoulder she can cry on, playing her hair, stabbing her head gently anytime I want to. I am now graduated 3yr already. If I can keep it this long time, I really wish this can be forever. I think I am now being selfish. The thought of losing her is really scary. PS: I am gay.