Biggest mistake.....
I fuckin went berserker mode on my toilet and my shit went all over the place. EVEN MY MOUTH
...when it comes to a long distance relationship, communication is the key, they said. as students, we both have a lot of works need to be completed, but at the first few months it kinda work well, we both put efforts, make time for each other, and share almost everything. Times passed, people changed, they start to take things private, talk less or not even talk to each other for weeks,sometimes :), hmmm from every late night call to a good night message, no time for the one that is waiting for their messages and their presence, the one who wants to know whether it was their good or bad day, the one who wish to listen to everything and cheer them up with the sense of humorous>.<. The feeling of one-sided love comes, yet one still trying their best to keep the relationship even they've been through many sleepless nights. People changed with time, but the way you have changed is really far far away from my expectations. Goodnightmymoon❤️
I fuckin went berserker mode on my toilet and my shit went all over the place. EVEN MY MOUTH
ខ្ញុំហត់នឹងការធ្វើមិនដឹង មិនឮទៀតហើយ។ អ្នកទាំងអស់គ្នាយល់យ៉ាងម៉េចបើកទូរស័ព្ទសង្សាខ្លួនឯងហើយឃើញរូបអ្នកផ្សេង? មិនត្រឹមតែប៉ុណ្ណោះ មានរូបអាក្រាតកាយគេទៀត។ គ្រាន់តែគេLikeរូបខ្ញុំច្រើនដង គេប្រច័ណ្ឌហើយ តែពេលគេវិញគេសុំទោសហើយឲ្យខ្ញុំលើកលែងទោសរួចបំភ្លេចវាចោល។ ហើយវាក៏មិនមែនជាលើកទី១ដែលវាកើតឡើង ខ្ញុំហត់នឹងធ្វើមិនឃើញ មិនដឹង មិនឮតទៀតហើយ។ He’s the one. I swear to god that he’s the one. But now what? Staying with someone who you don’t know how many nudes he sees and saves just for the next time he jerks off or worrying he’ll fuck around when you’re not around. And you’re telling that i can’t trust him enough that he won’t do it when I’m not around? Kill me now.
I’m clingy, moody, insecure, have trust issues, self doubt, and lots of mental breakdown, which people categorize me as “toxic”. I’m trying to change. I really do, because I’m not feeling fine and happy with all those toxic traits too. I stay up every night questioning my own worth and existing. I don’t know why am I like this. And I thought, you would stay. I thought, you were different. I thought, you would wait for me to heal. Eventually, it was all my thought. Don’t take this wrong. I’m not blaming you. I was just hoping you stayed. I hope it was you who would have been there for me, but you have never been there with me on my bad days, not even once. I’m too much to be handled. I always know.[newLine*]Let’s be honest with me one last time, what is your feeling for me the last few months we talked? Did your feeling fade away? Was it not strong? From the start? Or from when I started to show you my true self? My dark side? [newLine*] I miss you, a lot. However, I know being with me is too tiring for people, I love you so much that I don’t want you to suffer with someone like me. I hope you’re with someone better, healthier, happier. Someone who loves life, someone who will match your energy, someone who is normal.
តាំងពីដើមមកខ្ញុំជាមនុស្សម្នាក់ដែលមើលងាយទៅលើស្នេហា ខ្ញុំគិតថាវាគ្មានអីពិបាកទេគ្រាន់តែស្រលាញ់គ្នា តែការពិតវាមិនមែនចឹងទេ វាពិបាកលើសខ្ញុំគិតទៀត។ ខ្ញុំពិបាកនឹងប្រាប់អ្នកថាវាបែបណាណាស់ ខ្ញុំពិតជាមិនដឹងថាត្រូវបង្ខំខ្លួនឯងបែបណាអោយនៅស្រលាញ់អ្នក ខ្ញុំមានអារម្មណ៍ថាវាមិនយុត្ដិធម៌សម្រាប់អ្នកឡើយបើសិនជាខ្ញុំនៅតែបន្តទាំងដែលខ្ញុំអស់ចិត្តពីអ្នក។ សុំទោសដែលធ្វើអោយអ្នកជួបអារម្មណ៍បែបនឹង សុំទោសដែលធ្វើអោយអ្នកមានអារម្មណ៍ថាខ្លួនឯងជាឧបករណ៍សម្រាប់អោយគេសាកចិត្ត។ សុំទោស....
I have crushed on him for months and one day I decided to confess. As a result, he didn't reject me and said "Let see how it's going on." It was the sentence that gave me hope to work harder to take his intention. But next next day, he told me that he didn't want to think about something yet and I said okay even my inside hurt me a lot. I cried for whole night and felt like the whole world was collapsing. After this hard situation has gone, I kept talking to him as normal and acted like nothing happen. After then, I have invited him for a gathering but he rejected since he had his personal matter. I also understood about that situation. However, since that day, I didn't text him anymore plus he also didn't text me so I decided badly to MOVE ON. It is so hard for me to suddenly give up on him but I know clearly that no matter how hard I try, I still can't be good enough for him because I am not his type and his intention is not for me. Anyway, sorry for not saying Goodbye and telling you that I have give up on you because I afraid that when I text you, I will fall for u again. I hope you meet someone who you love and she will love you the way you love her. Time will cure everything. 🥺🥺🥺
I have been living on a fence between being normal, socially constructed, like most of everyone else, and being true to my cognitive self. To set up the premise, I am currently working as a software developer. I've been coding just so I know how to make games but that is still easier said than done. Being torn between work for my family and walking for my own can sometimes be discouraging. Is it lunacy to chase a near impossible spectrum of goals given where we are living? and leave behind our own flesh and blood even though just for a brief period of time compared to the whole life span in which we humans can live? The idea of knowing your own value is so vaguely destructive due to never being taught before how to measure that aspect of our own internal value, which spawn ignorance and esteem issues. "Pick the one you love", they said. The idealistic entity in which all of my hopes and expectations combined has nothing more but shattered due to the chaotic nature of nature itself. I fear the unknown, the dread of not knowing what to come next. The dread of nothing matters. I can only work towards it but how it ends will frighten me nonetheless.
Just because I'm okay now doesn't mean that the feeling I lost will come back.
"Have you ever love someone and want the best for them? But you realized you aren't the best for them." This is what i can recall from your story quote. I don't have courage to tell you directly but i do know that you like to read here. If that post refer to me, i just want you to be who you are because that's the best of you to me.