Suicidal thought
It comes again...that thought and why its keep whisper in my ear and keeping running in my brain telling me i should die so everything will be fine? Why is it me? Why am i being like this?
-Nš Im sorry for hurting you. It was childish of me to do that to you. I donāt expect u to forgive me. I wish I could take every ounce of pain u feel right now. I love you, always. #221020
It comes again...that thought and why its keep whisper in my ear and keeping running in my brain telling me i should die so everything will be fine? Why is it me? Why am i being like this?
Why did you leave me like that? How could you start over with her? Do you ever feel de ja vu? Do you feel the guilt? Why did you treat me this way? It wasnāt in our promise. What we had plan why did you do it with someone else? Why do you have to ruin me this way? Idk anything. Idk why you did this to me. But one thing I am sure of is my love for you have never been less than hers.
I am the girl name Samphors and I feel like I still owe someone an explanation even though there were many late night talks and paragraphs explaining exactly how I felt about the relationship. Iāve seen this confession months ago and I am hesitant to make an assumption that itās about me, but he knew I read every confession from this page. We lost contact for months, itās never been easy for me and I believe u might experience it worse, which I donāt know cuz u never show. For me certain places, songs and lyrics remind me of u, the āMidnight rainā lyrics was one of the reason why I decided to write this reply. āI broke his heart 'cause he was nice He was sunshine, I was midnight rain He wanted it comfortable, I wanted that pain He wanted a bride, I was making my own name Chasing that fame, he stayed the same All of me change like midnightā Thereās nth wrong with us, weāre just two different ppl from two different world that couldnāt collide. I canāt describe how much I wanted us to work out and I believe u thought the same way, too (at least from what I see). Accepting that was the end of us was hard pill to swallow, u were my first and I wish u would be my last, not to become a lesson for me to learn. Youāre a nice soul and I appreciate everything u did for me. May all the good thing u did for me and others return back to u and so longšā¦ I hope
We werent supposed to meet. I was supposed to walk a path set out for me...i was supposed to never step a foot or breathe into your world...but a moment of recklessness brought me into a new world that made me into a happier person. And I met you. You were always like a shadow until one day i stopped, turned around, and fell immediately into your cold, indifferent eyes. You barely talked to anybody, but you were responsive to me. You tolerated my meanness, you listened to my sob stories, and you let me talked abt my drama without making me feel like i am a bother. Slowly, you opened up to me...but I know there is still a deeper part of you I might never get to know. Nevertheless, as friends, you are the best friend a girl could ever asked for. I've never had a male friend, so thank you for making me feel appreciated. Thank you for making me feel safe. Most important of all, thank you for making me realize what it feels like to fall in love with a true gentleman. I know my feelings arent mutual, but that is fine. We are still young. Our dreams are still far. One day, I will look back at us and smile. One day, when I am ready to move on, I will picture you in my head and tell myself, "This is the standard you're aiming for. Do not settle for less." Please...please dont get tired of me. I scolded you, nagged you because i care. I know you have the potential to be a succesful man that is why I do not want you to waste your potential. I want your family and the girl whom you will end up with to be proud of you. Why? Because you deserve the world. I care about you. A lot. I always do and I always will.
Itās easy to find someone who is pretty, rich, smart, smell good, nice figures, doll-like face, academic success, business oriented mind, hard working, considerate, helpful, charming, unbeatable spirit, sassy and down to earth. But at the end of the day IT IS NOT YOU. I drive down all different roads but they all lead back to you and I am sorry to everyone who came across me all of these time at the end i tried to turn you guys into her and I failed pathetically. So for one last time I know i came back way too late to you, too late to realize that no one will ever be able to be like you, too late to realize what we used to have is a the only and last genuine thing in my life. please make this work even I have to made a deal with a devil. Because at the end of the day everyone gonna hurt me Atleast I want the blade that stabs me to be yours. I love you I hope the alternate version of us would never go through the same hell we did ā¤ļø
To "you", I still remember our first encounter very well. It was a few years ago, it was when I was about to go home but I saw you were struggling with getting your bike out. We were total stranger to one another (even for now). So, I decided to help you. It was a little bit windy day, and as I was helping you, because of a light blow of the wind, flipped up your skirt a little bit. I thought maybe it was uncomfortable for you because of the wind, so I offered my jacket for you to cover yourself, but lucky, you got a motorbike tower of your own. (Sorry for too detail) After I got bike out, we exchange a normal pleasantry, "Thank you very much","you're welcome" and we part way. I only happened to know that you and I were in the class after the incident day. However, back then, I was in my rough patch, and it was so rough that I decided to drop the course. However, Within those few years, you always cross my mind, and I kind of have a fondness for you as well, even though we never got a chance to know each other. I really do wish and hope that we will have our paths cross once again, then we can get to know each other, and somehow, I hope we can work it out, and we end up being together. I really think that you are a very sweet and nice person, I really really like to know you. As if you were book that I would spend the rest of my time to read. (Even I'm not quite a reader) Hope you see this, and hope you remember me as I remember you. From a stranger.
IT'S A MATCH! Things escalated and we were now getting to know each other on our personal socials. I am a person who wasn't really looking forward to other people's messages before. With her, things were different.. She would often send me posts related to cute things that couple do. It was so cute, I swear. I was really looking forward to our first date together. At other times, she would send me posts about insecurity, loneliness.. etc She mentioned she was insecure and have a fear of her loved ones leaving her. It makes me want to care for her, shelter her.. It felt like I began to really fall for her, as I was really excited whenever we talk or text. A few weeks has passed since our first encounter, her replies started to take a longer time than usual. I was curious as she said she is done with Tinder in one of our calls before. So I went back on the app with an anonymous profile this time.. and to my surprise, I managed to match with her again. There she is, with her cuteļ¼flirty replies.. I felt a little jealous.. It felt like we had chemistry, but you started to drift slowly apart from me. Things were really going south for us. I questioned your late responses and you replied with having no time for a relationship. I guess, that's a fair answer. All the best from me, kon kmeng. #K
I know you dont want to be in a relationship. You used to tell me that. It's my fault that i keep falling for you. You're too good to not falling for. You bought me my fav food, bring me to the place I want to go. Late night drive around city, hold hands... You gave me a tight hug, a hug i would never felt the same with anyone else. And now look at us.. we dont even talk anymore... i miss you. I miss your voice, your scent, everything about you. I miss our moment. I dont know what to call it but at least i had you and u're my happy place. At least I got moment... a moment that i'd never forget. š I know we're only had each other for a short period of time but that's so unforgettable... it wasnt long but i know that it was something even there's no way to it. I miss you... i wish we could be us again, forget about anything and be the happy "us" just like we used too... too shy to say but i really hope u stay... #Nš</3