Idk how to describe my feeling right now. You know what you always stuck in my head and heart even when you're gone. What i want to say and ask: - It’s my fault that i rejected you ( At that time , i think be friend is more forever than relationship even i have feelings for you) - I regretted about my decision - I always here for you no matter what and keep waiting you @ Am I your stranger now? Can you guys help me by sharing this post? I really want him to see it. _Seeing you happy is already my happiness_
So how do you describe your current lover who still screenshot their ex's recent photos? what if the feelings are still there or was it just my stupid imagination? lmao, isn't it funny they keep on telling you they love you, but still do things like this? i mean do you really love me or just for fun or just to forget your ex who has a better body, face than me?
I think I’ve built a very convenient Persona for myself to get by this world. Everywhere I go, Every group of people, or everyone that I met, I know what they see me but not in me, they find I’m a very polite, friendly, good manner person. I know this, because that is all my persona shows them. But their instincts would tell them to be care to approach me with their good intentions, maybe it’s a friendship or love. Their instincts would tell them, I’m not just they see, there are something more beneath that. And it’s right, I’m hiding myself under this forged amour because I can’t be who I actually want to be. How I was treat from a very young age had traumatized me to be myself. I’ve lived my life forged with lies that I tell myself, that now it makes me terrified to unfold the truth. Now at the end of everyday, I feel so empty, like an empty void that can’t never be filled. I named this “empty bin”, because that’s just how I am, loud but empty. I’m tired of this life. Even though I know life is pain and suffering, but how I still couldn’t get used to if? And it’s even more tragic if you live a life with full of self-deception. lately, all I could think of is, how to die and leave no pain to everyone around me. “How should this empty bin should leave?…”
We both broke up because there a third person in the relationship… now we’re seeing each other behind the third person back… i know it bad, but i don’t feel bad… is it wrong?
I fucked up again. Choosing the same old path and now suffering same old mistake. Risking myself to accept that love again. Open myself to trust again but now all I got is this god damn pain. And now I think I am the REAL problem :)
Prior to reading the story, I just wanna say sorry to those who related for posting this I hope you feel me Note: The characters' names ain't real I just Oppakech XD LET'S GOOO!!! love is a great thing to find out that love is not desire. If love is not desire, then what is love? Love is not attachment, it is not a pleasure, and it is not jealousy or ambition. The fulfillment of desire, which is pleasure, is not love. So, I have come to realize that love is not a desire. It is not a pleasure, it is not an attachment, and it is not jealousy or ambition. To truly understand it, one must first go beyond the superficial. Now, let me take you on a journey beyond the sun's setting. Through the light of the sky, I will create a marble golden breeze effect. As I walk away, I will allow you to focus on the blackness of your pupil, while at the same time, letting your mind wander into the distant future. As long as you look, the world will continue to unravel, and love will find a way to find a way to be kind. On an epic journey, you will meet someone special. Starting with the journey of my love story, definitely, we started as strangers by chance studying the same major in university. The day coincident brought us, we started knowing each other and started being closed. At the beginning of this complicated relationship, we didn’t really know each other even though we are studying at the same university, we then knew each other. After a few months of knowing her, I noticed her brightness and started loving her day by day. Her name is Jasmine. She is a girl in a slim fit with a height of about 162cm. Her long blonde hair is fit with her and also the smell of it which is my favorite smell ever. The most adorable thing about her is her eyes, which are light brown that I cannot stop staring at. She has a pointed nose, which makes her look gorgeous. She has a heart-shaped lip and a soft cheek, which I expect that one day I can be able to kiss “lol”. She is such a good person I have ever met, she got a beautiful heart and other good things she got is that I couldn’t describe all in a day. After we got to know each other for about 3 months, one night my heart was beating so fast that I couldn’t recognize what happened. I started to gain confidence and finally decided to let her know about my feeling tomorrow. I moved around the remaining place to try to get to know well what was wrong with my heart, and after I couldn’t sleep at night, in the morning I started to know my heart is all on her, which is I couldn’t live without her. Later on, in the morning, I went to school with a feeling of panic and also a feeling of confidence. During the class on that day, I couldn’t stop staring at her with a feeling that I wanted to propose all my feeling that I got inside to her. After the class ended, once everybody got out of the class, and now only me and her, I finally stood up, and I said to her: “I got something to tell you, Jasmine. Please don’t leave yet.” “What is it?” she asked me with a face full of confusion and curiosity. Then, I expressed my good intention, my good feeling to her. I have also proposed to her to be my princess. After she heard all the words that came from my mouth, she started to look stunned. At that moment I felt like I wanted to run away from this awkward situation that I am the one who brought us into this, and one most important word that I wanted to say in this circumstance is “I am really sorry.” I felt like I was so wrong to put her in this while she looked like she wanted to tell me: “I really appreciate how your feeling has to me, but I don’t feel the same.” Turns out it was not the same as I had expected, she didn’t tend to reject, and she kept being silent during this whole disaster. “I have to go now.” she left as soon as she said this. I was so confused by her answer, and I couldn’t even eat or sleep at all after this disaster. More than this, because I was loving her so bad at that time, I then sent a message to her and asked her to choose between friendship and a relationship. After that, she has seen my message, but she still remained silent and did not reply to my message for a week. That night, I couldn’t sleep again because I felt hurt and ashamed for thinking that she also loves me so much as well. I went to a mart at the midnight and got alcohol drinks to treat my sorrows. In the morning, I still wanted to clarify her feeling to me because I don’t want my overthinking to overwhelm the reality, so I called her to meet up at a cafeteria nearby our school. We met at the exact same location where I called her out. After I saw her face, I started to feel panic because I was afraid that she is going to reject me again. I started to talk to her first, and I couldn’t hold my feeling and started to ask the same question that I sent a message to her that night. After she heard my question, she stopped smiling at me and started to answer my question without any hesitation. The words she said were ‘I like you’ instead of ‘I love you’, which made me feel like something has stabbed my heart. After this, I still don’t wanna give up, it was not my final destination, I have been trying to relax and try not to get her to answer this again. I know what she meant to me is that I am just her best friend who treats her such many good things than other men did. Although she counted me as her best friend, I treated her like a queen, I gave her a caring, warming heart and everything I could do. After a long period of those actions, yet she still not seeing me as the good man, she deserves. Even before we did many good things together as if we were a couple. We usually went out after a tiring class to somewhere we felt comfortable, we also said what deep down our minds to each other while we were together. Moreover, every couple always sees their partners daily or weekly it depends on them, same goes for us, we did what other couples do, I think we are more than a couple and best friend. Those days were unforgettable and memorable days for us, especially me. Since I used to be a football player and joined many competitions and now, I am still taking some time playing, I need her “Jasmine” to be that one person who could go to the football court with me and watched my performance and cheered me. She is my motivation in my daily life. She used to go there with me, giving me all the encouragement I had ever got in my entire life. But now we don’t even talk to each other anymore like we used to... People’s defining moment in their life can change their whole personality and their point of view in their life. It was a day in the middle of the week, we didn’t have class at all but we were requested to prepare some materials and lessons for our practicum. Jasmine and her friends were doing those things at school, I went there quietly without telling her. Once I had arrived, I saw an unexpected moment I didn’t expect to happen. There was another boy who was also with her sitting nearby, and that boy is my friend. After arriving in the class, she pretended not to see me coming. She didn’t say anything to me until that boy was no longer there. Before, coming into the class, one of her friends stopped me in front of the door because she already knew what would happen if I saw them being closed to each other. No longer than five minutes, I got to get in. After seeing that moment, I pretended as if something happened as she pretended not to see me, but deep down this moment was hurting me so much. All I could do is watching her and that friend of mine from far away. I could see on her face that she felt pity for me, but she didn’t say anything. After that day, I felt like I am scared to lose her even more than before. I was waiting for the class to end, and I decided that I will ask her one last time about her and me. I had to clarify everything. The class finally ended, I stood up and walked to her seat. I grabbed her hand energetically when she was about to leave. “Can we be more than friends?” I asked her confidently again. This disaster is even worst than before. She looked like she was about to cry. I remember that look on her face was like someone who got humiliated in the middle of the city. One thing I forgot is that moment, everyone even the teacher was looking at us...no... more like they looked at her. The confidence in me has awakened too fast I forgot that everyone was still in the class. I then let her hand go, and she ran away from me again or we can say ran from the embarrassment... but this time is like there is no other time she would run away from me. I felt bad for Jasmine. I didn’t even get to apologize to her for my rudeness even though I already know she hates this kind of situation. I wish I had not done it. If I had been more sensible, the mistake would not have happened; but it’s no use saying that now. We, people, are not the best and perfect of out of all time. We often make mistakes intentionally and unintentionally. I am not writing this story with good intentions but I also include my mistakes and fault. We, the man, don’t disappoint ladies or break their hearts like me. A month later, the unexpected moment came, she started going out with one of my friends. After their friendship appeared, they had made a relationship without letting me notice about them. It was a moment I had never expected; It hurt me from my soul I swear to God. What if you face or you’re in this sort of moment? What are you going to do? Will you be able to face her or them? How much you can pretend like nothing happened? Do you still keep your friendship with your friend or her? Can you do the same as I did? To be honest, I swear you all can’t; you can’t even hold your tear and keep your mind calm. Oppositely, I nominated that they are by chance knowing each other which similar to me. I was pretending what was happening was just daydreaming happening in the period of time. I still keep in touch with her once she needs me, even though, she was with him... Enjoy the adventure that brings laughs through hate, and fills up a plate with tears that create. Rome through the bark-filled woods and watch the deer stand and run from your room. Venture upon the moon in the lake, while holding a candle for no given sake. Breathe the frosty morning into your souls while the fire burns bright at your little toes. Seek a quest that finds memories more expensive than gold. Do it all and do it together as love offers the fabric for a voyage to be told. #Thankforreading #Unforgettablememories
Im not sure where to start this and i don't want ti write a-lot either but I feel like I can’t tell or discuss anything with my best friend anymore … the thing is whenever I told her about something I want to do or what im planning to buy, she’d always do that that thing or buy those thing before me and act like I’ve never told her about it before, and it happens a lot (stupid me just notice those action when I told her i really like this short and planning to buy it (she doesn’t say anything like she wants those too) and next two or three days she bought those without asking whether we should buy it tgt and even do a mirror selfie and send it to me, like i know it’s small thing but it still hurts… even with dudes… (fyi im a shadow), if i told her there is dude I’m interested in, she’d like oh I’ll add him too or let me a game or two with them too and then they talk and become close… like i don't know whether this is normal thing to do so im not sure what to think anymore.
I miss you a lot more than I realized. things keep happening and I always find myself wishing I could tell you about them.
It was not right how I thought I could control my feelings since I was traumatized by how I was treated... It was not right how I thought my emotions could be detached if I belived so... It was not right how you just became a part of me, my emotion, my life without me knowing... It was not right how it could affect me this much just by not getting your text... I mean since when have you become this important to me? For some reasons, I think we have the mutual feelings, but it is just not right for us to be together because we are traumatized by our experiences, is it? Or has it been one-sided? I just feel confused and I fear that it would take too much time to move on... becuase you are always on my mind now. Us being able to talk again or not, I am not sure. What I am sure is that talking to you was one best experience. I enjoy it and I hope you feel the same. :)