Am I the problem?

I fucked up again. Choosing the same old path and now suffering same old mistake. Risking myself to accept that love again. Open myself to trust again but now all I got is this god damn pain. And now I think I am the REAL problem :)

Feeling bottled up?

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2025-08-14

Being played???

It is probably selfish of me to assume that you were having any feelings on me like I did (kinda still do) for you. With shared interests, I thought that we were vibing just fine. Hell, you even made me feel special. I do not know much about you besides the rare and random interests that we shared, but I truly appreciate the time we spent chatting overnight at when I felt loved during my darkest times. After I learned the news about you going abroad, I felt conflicted. I knew that it was such an opportunity for you, but I also wished that I had spent more time getting to know you better. The thing is that I wanted to express my gratitude and love for you. I just wanted to put it out there. I do not have any intention of wanting to start anything anytime soon, for I do not want to mistake my loneliness and sadness for love. I held my breath for a while. I thought that I genuinely would wait for you. You truly did give me hope, but it seems to be a false hope....I feel gutted. Because after a while, I had my suspicion and learned that the whole time you were with someone else, yet you gave such a sense of love. I feel played for not knowing anything and for being given such false joy. I waited and waited for something that would never come. Maybe it is just a one-sided thing. Maybe I am feeling lonely. Then again, maybe I am just selfish, lonely, and deluded for thinking about any of this because at the end of the day I do not hold anything against you, but I genuinely thank you for all of the times and things that we shared. Lastly, I wish you the best. K

2025-08-14

A girl who I wanna be with

Have you ever heard of love at first sight? We have just met for a few weeks, and I have asked for her for her social media account. Then, we started texting each other. Staying with her feel so right. Even though we have only little time to talk and spend with each other, I still wanna be with her…

2025-08-14

Respect my boundaries.

A couple days ago I accidentally see my boyfriend’s liked video on TikTok and surprisingly that most of them are girls. He also followed them on instagram. I thought they’re his friends, classmates…but I as wrong. He saw them on TikTok and then started following them on instagram. To be clear, this isn’t about liking the pictures, it’s about the fact that I’ve asked him to stop. Clearly it crosses some boundary to me. He also told me that “ it’s not a big deal, I’m being insecure, every guys did that “. Does all the guys do the same ?? Following random girls on instagram after they have seen them on TikTok?? P.S we’ve been dating for a decent amount of time and I regretted that I checked his following on instagram just for a sake to break my heart…

2025-08-14

I'm still sorry! Our fake relationship is impossible to be real...

I know u have feeling on me, but don't know begin when. We both talk like a sweet couple, u call me bby I call u bby too. But u know! Everytime I did I feel embarrassed. Honestly, I'm not sure about that. When u confessed I always pretend not to know and changed our talking topic. Another thing that I can't accept u is bec I clearly don't have feeling on u. Everytime I think about u but never seen u. Maybe I still love #R, cuz he always exist in my dream when I think about u. I'm still thinking and asked myself " what should I do?? ". Now I got the answer, maybe I should let u go n end up our fake relationship. I'm sorry! I never want to hurt u. Maybe someone waiting for u, so let begin with her not me. #P

2025-08-14

How to decide?

I told you to wait for me, it only 10 months and I will come back. But thing doesn't turn out as I planned and Im stuck with my life decision right now. So our relationship started when I moved to a country for my Master Degree. She is my junior in my faculty and we been dated for 1 year and half. She was the best thing that ever happened to me, she was everything I ever imagine in a girl. My friends told me that my life is like a k-drama series because I was never been that happy before. After almost a year of dating our relationship getting hard, you accused me as a cheater while I just did exactly what u asked me to do. You was telling me you want to get married and live a normal life like other girls and told me to start looking for someone else. My heart broke into pieces everytime I heard those words from you, I couldn't endure the pain somehow. So I was started talking to someone else while feeling really guilty to you. You caught me texting with someone else, guess what now u feel what I feel now? You asked for a break up but does not we already broke up? After a series of drama we made up ,thanks to Covid-19 for made up stuck in a house together. But the problem now I almost finished my study and I need to get back to my country. I told you I will continue my study, just wait for 10 months I will get back after I get a scholarship. I didn't understand my self y I have to grind so hard for a relationship that already broken. Even I know at the end you will not choose me, even I know u still keep texting other person. I still remember ur sobbing face when u send me off at airport, our last hug, our last meal at airport. Now 6 months had passed, I has moved to my country and it was very hard in the first few months when I was the only person who wanna keep this relationship. Even I used to get " I miss you" text from u a few times and It made me very happy but deep down I knew things changed and we ended. You told me to move on and be happy since you alr start dating someone. I don't know how to feel happy hearing this. After a severe heartache, I tell my self I wont go back to that place again and I wont let anyone hurt me again. Now I moved on, happy with my life, I able to imagine my life without u in it until I got an email telling me that I was offered a scholarship. It is a great news yes it a scholarship I prayed for before , it was a dream come true and it is a ticket for me to find you. But my head mess up, I can't decide should I accept or reject? Should I leave things I have built here and go back to suffer again? PhD is sound fancy but it also a very lonely journey and suffocation. Plus I want to build my life without u involve in it, I don't want to feel those pain again. But this time I will made a decision for me, a life decision without u involve in it... PS: We both are girls.

2025-08-14

A point where ......

I reached a point where love is not that necessary to me. Idk, i feel like I'm waiting for something yet i don't even know what it is. (my kiddo back from UK, or Angel falling from a sky ? or That kretttt Sound from ATM?) seeing people i know going through from one relationship to another one- sometime i feel like i'm just a NPC in a game. i don't have to feel, whatsoever... just be there and stand still. Someone said to me " if you really love something, beside of scare being hurt- you should go for it like you used to." - it's not like i don't want to, It's just people take you for granted for so long and you tend to lose a soft spot for them and that SXXT traumatized you. To all people who like me ~ i hope you take it easy on people who want to be with you - idk give them a chance and try be reasonable with them. (esp: cancer sign woman: They are the purest people i know (alot of them but not all) - if they love you- trust me- Even godzilla can't do anything to you) All they want is just being with you ! Btw, Go stream BIGBANG- Still life ~ Thank you 🔥🤍

2025-08-14

ហេតុតែបាត់គេមិនបាន

ទិញរបស់ញ៉ាំយកទៅអោយ my bf ដល់កន្លែងធ្វើការ វាមិនខ្ចីចង់ចុះមកយក ពេលមកយកវាមិនខ្ចីចង់មើលមុខឯង។ ឯងជិះមកវិញ មិនទាន់ផុត ១០០ ម៉ែត្រផង វាឆាតថា ឈប់ទិញអោយវាទៀត។ វាចង់ វាចេះទិញផឹកស៊ីហើយ។ អញ គាំងម៉ាជីវិត ហេតុតែអញកម្មក្រាស់ជាមួយហែង ហែងចាំមើល តែអញមានកូន អញទាត់ក្បាលហែងចោលហ្មង

2025-08-14

My gorgeous

ehh pretty! u're such a good girl, u've met. once upon a time, u gave the feeling that u're really caring, but i was wrong. ur sweet voice, ur soft tone, ur beautiful eye sight are melting my heart everytime. btw, oh my sweetest, u're with lots of person, u kinda did the same way as u treat me. I don't know why u r into that person, before i figured out i think that u r such a lovely girl, soft hearted, but u failed me. u used everyone to help u most of time, and for me, i'm happy to be in used ^^ but not everytime. when i yeah share this scenario, just a scenario, to my fri, they said that the boii is being shxting used, hahahaha. and i'm yeah, ok XD tbh just a few words to u, pretty, please dun be like that, one day u'll lose them <3