The saddest thing …
The saddest thing in the world is loving someone who used to love you :)))
Too tired to keep pushing every girl i met away, just because i still hope we can re-write our own ending. I guess i kept my promised, unless she find a guy i would be allow to open up to a new beginning. finally the curse is over. (in the mean time- Go and watch " I Don't Love you By Gray" ) #🔥🐼 | (adios)
The saddest thing in the world is loving someone who used to love you :)))
I know you read my messages from your notification. I know that when you claim you were busy, you were actually on your phone scrolling and chatting with your friends in a cafe. When you said you were busy, I know you were playing games or watching a movie. You messaging me is a choice and I messaging you is a duty. You take me for a granted...a friend whom you could rely on in terms of school work. I am that friend whom you could use whenever you feel like you need a female company. I am the friend who is there for you to practice your flirting skills. I am the friend who, after you finish scrolling up and down your newsfeed 5 times, will open the message and decide whether or not u should message back. I am the friend who recieves the message "huh” after 10 hours of trying to ask for help saying "im in pain, there is no one here.” So do not text me five days later that you forgot to check your phone even though I saw you share memes 3 days ago. Do not text an apology and ask about how i felt because i went through hell and you choose to ignore it. Do not look at me with those eyes as if I am the only girl in the world and that no one else matters because clearly I can be on my deathbed right now and you will still decide to check up on me "tomorrow”. Do not share posts about how heartbroken you are when you see me flirt with someone who actually cares about me and do not update me on your activities like we are something when we arent. We're just friends so stop acting like we're lovers and you're the boyfriend giving excuses for ignoring his girlfriend. We're just friends and you are already breaking me apart, taking me for granted, and forcing me up a rollercoaster ride of confusion and pain....imagine how it will be if you are more than a friend.
One upon the time, there was me and a guy. A guy who I could lose myself for him even my life. And also had another guy who always there when I need help. Let back to reality, when you heard a word “ love “ what was the most meaningful come cross to your mind? To me that was the a beautiful cloudy day which is became to bad storm with sec. The beautiful didn’t last, you are the one who was been in love one side while he wasn’t. I don’t know what zone we have been through but sometimes we looks like a couple and the other we became a sibling and not too long we became a stranger. It hard to blame on me while he was made me confusing all the time. The way he was taking care the way he treated me those actions ghosting me every night. I tried to talk to him about our relationship, he just pushed me away stopped not to talk. Before I have the feeling for him I have asked him many time about his personal life I mean doesn’t he dating someone yet, the answer I got he is single who not having much time to thing about loving stuff. I trust those with and I could not find anything about his love life on social media also. We talked we laughed we chitchat, hanged out, eating out but we never called that was dating. Even we went on the trip together just 2 of us. I was thinking about does man always doing those stuff with a girl he not even like a bit!?! Does he like me?!? If not why he took me here while these are couple usually did. I was talking to myself everyday thinking all about his attitude. And now I realized I have been used, I still have no idea that he was dating someone or not but I just no that he just using me to comfort his loneliness life. Honestly I knew that he was being nice to everyone he known, but there are some point made me think he like me by the ways treated me differently from other.
Well, this confession gonna sound stupid to some of you, yet, I hope I can keep my memory here. I am madly in love with a person I met in middle 2021 but I have never confessed nor shown any signs to him at all for I knew I’m not his type. I first met him through a volunteer platform which help me to spent my awesome six months working together with him. I am hopelessly falling in love knowing that I will never get a response from him. There was a time I gather all my strength and used drunk as an excuse to directly talked to him about how I felt yet before I could even talk, I found out he already has eyes on somebody. Thank to that I did not lose him until today. We barely talked now as our project is already ended - honestly I am still into him but I give up now. I am too hopeless to even think about him so I decided to leave a note here and hope this would find him well or rest well in my memory. Thanks ~
Dear mystery man, I still remember the trace of your hands that was slowly embracing me into your arms. It was such a wholehearted moment that I ever experienced, even though it was just a dream. The moment you hugged me, I immediately felt warmth from you already. I do not understand why nor remember your face however, the touch that you gave me in that dream was the best thing that ever happened to me.
After all you have done to me, and you say សុខចិត្តលះបង់ខ្ញុំអោយជួបមនុស្សល្អ? Remember the way you still keep in touch with your ex (up until now) that hurts me so bad? No matter how many times I tell you to have limit (by understanding the reasons, I agree to accept the relationship), you keep ignore my frustration, and say I don’t have trust on you. Until the day I ask to break-up, you only asked that whether I think clearly about the decision? You didn’t try to keep me, and I was not your choice. You trying to get back with me a FEW TIMES without any changes. I gave you chances to make it up and wanted to know what have you done to get back the relationship, but you have done nothing. The last one was, you came back and decided to agree with my conditions, after 2 days you said you couldn’t do it and ended it. After one and half month, you came back again. Am I just a thing to you? Where is my value? How do you so confident that I still give you a chance? Why are you so selfish? And after I raised up the question that why should I give up other good people for the one who has broke me a lot of time and never give value to me? You said បើគេល្អយកគេចុះ សុខចិត្តលះបង់ខ្ញុំអោយមនុស្សល្អ lets me tell you, that’s not call លះបង់. For sure, I haven’t move on completely, but I also need to keep my value, and self-esteem. I gave too much value to you, now it is time that I value myself. Lets the Karma do the work. #ks
I’ve seen a lot of post about suicidal thought and people trying to commit the act. I just want to tell those of you who are struggling out there that “it’s alright”. It’s alright, I’ve been through this before as well. Although I’ve never been that suicidal, the thought of “if my life ends, then many problems and burdens will be solved” did cross my mind. It takes a lot of willpower and strength to get through this phase as I would shut myself inside my room all day and night and on social media during my high school years. There were times I was upset with my parents, of them blaming me, and scolding me for various mundane things that happen in our everyday life. However, I want to tell you that it’s alright to run to your parents and hug them with all you have, they would not mind it even if you guys are currently in an argument. It’s alright to tell your friends and others “I cannot do this anymore. I’m tired and wanna be left alone”. It’s alright to feel overwhelmed and go through this phase, I believe we have gone through this teenage and young adult phase at least once in our lives. I am not telling you that suicide is wrong and you shouldn’t do it, I am trying to say that it should be your very last option. Wallow in your tears, your sadness, your stress, your burdens, your self-pity all you want. Most people blame themselves for not being good enough rather than actually addressing their fears and inhibitions. Perhaps it is easier to ignore all that is happening around you. I am not entertaining nor romanticizing suicidal thought, but if you still cannot find a better option or a better way to live your life, then it is alright to end it.
I reached a point where love is not that necessary to me. Idk, i feel like I'm waiting for something yet i don't even know what it is. (my kiddo back from UK, or Angel falling from a sky ? or That kretttt Sound from ATM?) seeing people i know going through from one relationship to another one- sometime i feel like i'm just a NPC in a game. i don't have to feel, whatsoever... just be there and stand still. Someone said to me " if you really love something, beside of scare being hurt- you should go for it like you used to." - it's not like i don't want to, It's just people take you for granted for so long and you tend to lose a soft spot for them and that SXXT traumatized you. To all people who like me ~ i hope you take it easy on people who want to be with you - idk give them a chance and try be reasonable with them. (esp: cancer sign woman: They are the purest people i know (alot of them but not all) - if they love you- trust me- Even godzilla can't do anything to you) All they want is just being with you ! Btw, Go stream BIGBANG- Still life ~ Thank you 🔥🤍