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I’m thinking of dying again. 22-04-22 -khoy mouygech

Feeling bottled up?

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2025-08-14

At least we met.

meeting you was very unexpected. it was very amazing. we started off very well, days passed. i enjoyed talking to you very much. our vibes, our life, we clicked very well. at that very moment, i felt happiness once again. you did nothing special, yet i find happiness coming w/o realizing. you was the reason i get better. i dont wish that we could talk again, but if you're unhappy, then i hope i could carry those sadness with you or maybe, for you. "how are you?" - you asked i'm not doing that well, i said. what would you do if you knew i didnt do well because i was missing you? writing a book has never came into my thought. but when i remember your name, i wanted to write about our stories, about us. meeting again at the right time doesnt sound like a guaranteed promise isn't it? well, let's meet again next life time. i will always wish for your happiness even w/o me, little girl.

2025-08-14

Karma

I was loved and treated right by my ex. It was my first relationship so I never realize how precious it was until I lost it. I wasn’t matured enough to accept the fact that long lasting relationship includes arguments, those boring days where we also get tired of one another, forgiving and stepping backwards. I left him because I was looking for my “ideal relationship” and ofc I found it. But I’m paying the price, the price is being a chaser and still got neglected. Now I truely understand how my ex felt and how tired he was from all the efforts that he made. Though I never admit this outside but I always think about it everyday. The reason that I won’t admit is not because of the ego, but because I have to hide my vulnerability so that everyone think that I finally found my perfect man and hoping that will help my ex to move on, because before we broke up, we made a promise to look out for one another and he told me that he won’t move on unless I’m happy with my relationship. But don’t get me wrong, I am happy in my relationship but it’s like a roller coaster, some days I’m on cloud 9, some days I feel all gloomy. If you’re happen to read this, I just want to apologize for mistreating you and thank you for all the love, efforts and valuable lessons you gave me. Though we don’t talk anymore, hope we’re still cool.

2025-08-14

Anyone?

3 years after break up, I realized i miss her more and more. Is it too late? 😳 #K

2025-08-14

I don't know should I move on or still waiting for him?

I saw you usually react and read all of the confess in this page so, I hope you see this. I've been waiting for you for a long time without getting any messages from you. What do you think about me? Do you want me to waiting for you or want me to move on? Please let me know dear. I'm stuck. I want you to know that I love, I don't want to lose you. I can waiting for you if you ask me to wait.. but if you want me to move on, That's okay I can accept it. ☺️

2025-08-14

To strong

I heard people said "when u are a girl and u're strong is hard for a man to catch u up. Because when u sad or depress and in a hard situation u never need ur man to comfort u cause u can deal it on ur own. That will make up think u are strong enough to deal with ur proplem and he is too useless and starting to distance himself from u cause he think u are to high like a star for him to catch and he to weak, not a man who u deserve". I think they are right. I had been in 3relatio ahips now. The reason of my break up are I am to strong and i never show my weakness and even not talk about my things to my man, so they broke up with me. They never knew i am living a misirible life. I had all kind of pain and trying really hard each day until everything become a habbit. The pain can hurt me anymore.

2025-08-14

From a precious memory to an awful memory

Hello guys so I've been hiding all the pain by myself for so long so today I just wanted to share it with u guys.so here's the story ... We both used to be best friends but then one day when my life was so fking down ( we both girls) and there she's coming into my dark place and cheer me up with her kind words. Yeah I appreciated those words a lot and it helped me a lot but u know it's true that the one makes u feel better will break u worse. I don't think it's true and never think my always fav human being could be this cruel to me. Since i've fallen in love with her.i cried almost every single day because she hurts me everytime we talked but I still come back to her because I love her so much to the point I can give my life to her. Everytime she hurts me I always disappear and come back act as nothing happened ( the feeling that u loved S1 like this coz u will always forgive that person until u reached ur limitations). This last time I've disappeared maybe around 1 months ( the longest and last time too) and then I'm back but don't be confused I never wanted to force her to love me or something just wanted us to be like before like the way she used to act very kind to me ( she's also my favourite friend even before she become my crush) but u know she never do that again. ( អាចថាយើងស្រលាញ់គេពេកហើយឲ្យគេដឹងចិត្ត ចឹងហើយគេនិយាយអីធ្វើអីមិនដែលគិតចិត្តយើងទេ) and my text just be like" u look so okay without me but I'm not" but lol she looks so mad and sent me the texts that I have never received the rest of my life. And those text just cut off all my feelings from her. Guess what's it? Lol she said that I'm not her type because her type is beautiful, perfect sth like that which makes me doubt myself am I that bad in her eyes? Huh and she even said that even she makes the choice among all the person she won't choose me. Lol that's funny. Hold on girl! If those words received by those who have anxiety, depression or didn't love themselves enough. They're probably killed themselves already 😃 but that's not me because I love myself enough and I know I'm pretty enough in my own way for myself and I'm more than enough and also a lot of things she didn't know about me. So here's just few more things I wanted to tell u guys. 1. If u wanted to reject someone just find a good way to do that. Put yourself in someone's shoes. ( Be a good memory to people.dont be a toxic or an awful memory to them because what u said might be haunted them for the rest of their lives) 2. Dear all my beloved people out there please don't doubt your own worthy just because someone treated you like shit. They don't deserve your and please love yourself more. You don't need to prove that you're enough but keep improving yourself just for yourself. 3. I don't know if this reach to u or not but I just wanna tell u now you're just nothing to be and a toxic person that I used to know so if we happened to meet each other or something please គេចពីខ្ញុំទៅព្រោះសូម្បីស្រមោលអ្នកឯងខ្ញុំមិនចង់ឃើញផង។ no hate but I wish u would disappear from my life.🤭 One more thing u the only person among all my ex and crushes that I regret to love .( ស្តាយទឹកចិត្តមើលមនុស្សខុស។ កុំភ្លេចដំបូងខ្ញុំចូលចិត្តអ្នកព្រោះអ្នកមានទឹកចិត្តល្អ មិនមែនពិសពុលដូចពេលនេះទេ)

2025-08-14

Heavy

I dun even know what to say. Everything seem so heavy to me. I wonder if this world just this cruel or it just me, the problem. _n

2025-08-14

First and last

#firstandlastpt1 Everything start from me, it was my fault that fall in love with him. It was me who start to message him first everytime and he really friendly that make me feel he has feeling for me too. I spent 3 year to know his information and start to message him in 2019.I don't except he really talkative in message and I have good memories with each other since 2019-2020. As a girl who never had experience in love, I was so brave to proposal to him first and he reject me and said sorry. It's hurt me alot but I pretend to be okay and text him we still can be cousin like before. After that moment, I only text him whenever it's related to family issues. Someday I really miss how funny conversation I had with him even I start it first. 2021 I start to move on because I learn some advice through the book , listen to music and start to working outside cause I was a junior now. It's really work for me, I'm happy with book and my friend, we go out and had fun time and I thought I'm not into him fr. But in 2022 March, He start to message me first and I start to ignore but after 2 day ago, he talk about his family issues related to me. I decided to reply short message and he ask me to join his sister's wedding. I said yes cause we're cousin and live next to each other now. But....he make me disappointed in him again. I'll update next part 🔜