I’m afraid to be selfish

My significant other deserves the world. They were there when I was at my lowest and had nothing. I’ve always put them first, pour everything from my heart and be the selfless person that I am. I can feel that we mean a lot to each other, but sadly when I am speaking of this, I can only continue with past tense. The passion for me has already long faded, only traces remain of it’s former glory, whereas theirs still shine so brightly. An age old saying goes that if it no longer brings you joy, then let it go. In my case, I am not holding onto a rose with thorns, but simply a flower I no longer wish to hold. So it’s okay, for I have already picked up this flower, it is my duty to continue to hold and protect it, for I am afraid to be selfish, and let this flower go.

Feeling bottled up?

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2025-08-14

lost interest

hello everyone im here to ask for your opinion me and my girlfriend slanh knea ban 5month and we broke up a few days ago she told me and her bestfriend that she lost interest in everything and lose feeling for me too. but i dont really want to lose her so i decided to wait for her and wait till im mature enough for her too. but do u think there is a chance that she could fall for me again? do u think it is a right decision? can u guy give me some advice ? since i love her so much i dont want to give up.

2025-08-14

Heartbreak is a karma (Admin edition)

Yeah well admin is also using this page because stuff be that messed up sometimes. Religiously speaking, you do good, you get good. You do bad, you get bad. And that's karma. I'm not that religious myself but some theories do stay. When I do good, I don't expect anything back. But when I know I did something bad, I always expected that it will happen back to me one day. Right now, I don't know, I feel empty, I feel heartbrokened. Yeah allowing myself to feel those things, I put myself at fault, only I am to blame. But like the title says: Heartbreak's a karma. I'm not pretty, I dont have much admirers in high school so I'm not used to people liking me. So when I encounter someone who does, I used to just accept their love and learn to love them afterwards because I guess that is what happens when you are desperate. But now I dont do that anymore, I meet so much people nowadays so high school was a small world, a small sea with a few fish. I raised my standards, I told myself to only get in a relationship if i genuinely get attached when we were talking, I need to like someone before getting into a relationship. I wont ever get into a relationship and then learn to like them afterwards, never again. Unexpectedly I found that someone. I raised my standards and I raised my guards but in the end I still caught feelings alone. Again, I'm not pretty. But people confessed, people tried flirting. They were good people, they put in so much efforts yet I already liked someone else so rejection was the only way out; I tried ignoring the texts, replied the texts after a long time, and with all these indirect rejections, sometimes I still had to come down to a direct one where I said no. Being rejected hurts, I know it hurts because I've been through it too so I dont like rejecting people; I dont want to hurt you because I know what it's like to be hurt. So please, dont fall for me, dont try to love me, dont like me more than a friend. Every heartbreak, every sorrow Im feeling, I blame myself, I blame myself because i did that to you too, and the pain found its way back. Besides of the guilt of rejecting people, I'm hard to love, I'm incapable of being happy, there are so much more people out there who deserve your love, your efforts, but not me. Furthermore, when I like someone, I do it with all my heart and that's not something that is easy to pull out from so you're probably too late regarding the speed of how fast I fall for someone. My life, my emotions, how I function are so messed up like that. I wouldn't want you to be messed up trying to adapt with me.

2025-08-14

Too sensitive and weak

I hate how I'm too soft and emotionally weak. I cry over things that normal people would just brush off and move on. Little things can make me feel down and once I'm down, I don't really know how to pick myself up. When I see something that hurts my feelings, I would think about it for several months. I've been spending way too long trying to move on from someone I've only known for a short period of time and doesn't even care about me. If the person happens to know about my feelings, they probably find me stupid and pathetic. It's also difficult for me to share these things with my friends because they would find me overly emotional because even I myself think so. But I just can't help it. Is there even a way to improve myself to be mentally strong like others? Cos I really admire those who can just brush things off and let go of things easily. I can't keep on being this way when I've entered adulthood for quite a few years already.
2025-08-14

What's the next move?

I met a girl, let's called her M, we date for almost 2 years but we are not in a relationship. We took like 2 or 3 breaks during the time that we talk. And we decided to broke up 2 weeks before we hit 2 years, but we still talk as a friend because before that we aren't even in a committed relationship too. M has a lot of friends even a lot of people want her too because she's a good girl, she's friendly, and she's gorgeous. And I know there's no chance of getting back together because she's talking to a guy that made me completely insecure, they were very close since before we broke up. He's close to her than I am now. I want to meet her but she always denies and she always goes out with that dude and her friends ship her with him too. And now I am seeing another girl which happens to be one of her friends too but they're not that close, So now what should I do should I stay away from her friends or should I or ask her out?? What are the consequences of dating her? what could happen next? what should I do? We went to the same Uni

2025-08-14

Are We Really FRIENDS?

We started to know each other at the University by our mutual friends a year after enrolling the University. Our class were next door and we were complete stranger. We completely came from different world. Her friends got a project. I was asked to help. We became friend at first but not really closed one. Months later, I started to care, to curious, to chase, and to chat to her. I didn't know that it was a beginning of catching feelings for someone since I have never had one. I was pretty annoying her by some of my actions because I didn't know how I should do to express my feelings. I was unreasonably angry at her when she ignored me like I was invisible. Unfortunately, I changed class to another shift. We separated. I did miss her. Whenever, she asked me for help. I never said "NO" because I made me happy for helping her. I thought alone that she would have feelings for me, too. And yeah, it was one-sided love from me. She was already in relationship with someone whom I knew at that time. My heart broke into pieces. I cried without being aware of it was a heart broken feelings. I pretended to congrats her and be laughing in front of her. Years passed by, we didn't contact. She only chatted to me once she needed helps. Still, I didn't reject any requests. She sent me some songs, yet I didn't realize what the meaning of sending a song. I asked her why she sent me songs. She said "nothing" just send to me and listen. I was so dumb or I thought that she was in relationship. I shouldn't care about her anymore. She may be breaking up with someone I know. And, getting into another relationship. I also realized that. I always kept my distance just don't want to hurt myself more than before. She did reply to my story sometimes. I didn't reply much as before. Yeah, my feelings for her still remains the same until now and it's been 4 years. I met new people. Those closed friends told me that I should move on and opens for new one because she didn't have any feelings for me as they can assume of my storytelling. We both don't cut each other off. We are still contacting. We sometimes talk deeper, flirting, and argue. However, I don't really want to express my feeling because I don't know whether she is available. Whatever, I still care, love, stand behind her, buy her food. I do everything I could do for her in the name of her friend. You will always be in my heart, my friend. 👩‍❤️‍👩
2025-08-14

If you are happy, I’m happy.

One of my male colleagues and I are so close, but the closest thing I mentioned was that I'm the one who's trying to get close to him. I think I like him a lot, but I'm not daring to tell him. I don't want to ruin the relationship between us. It was good enough for me to have him during my stressful times, happy times, busy times, and anytime I needed him. I'm so grateful. Even if in the future you're not mine, I believe you will be a good husband to your future wife like how you're treating me these days. I'm a bit jealous of whoever deserves you, but if you're happy, I'm happy too. Day by day, my day becomes more and more colorful and shines since I have you by my side. You're so good for my mental health. It was so boring when you were complaining about this and that, but it is so empty without those complaints. I want you, the person who is giving me these good feelings, to feel them as well; to feel loved by someone; to feel treated well; and to be my lover, so I don't have to worry about your future wife. Thank you for being there for me during my hard times. I really appreciated every moment I had with you.
2025-08-14

Farewell..

Hey it's been almost two months since we broke up, I still remembered you left me on 4th Sep with a short meaningless message "I want to be alone" without any explaination without a closure you just left me there in the dark wondering what did i do wrong but now that you seems happier i guess i was the problem. I wonder what went wrong i wonder if we give up too early or if i held on for too long? I never thought goodbye would be so hard. I'm writing this because i'm going to let go of us of you..life been awfully hard on me these days. My family my work nothing really works out for me i miss venting out to you about my problems yes i miss you i still do but its not that i want us back i'm glad that you are doing well on your own. it's sad because what i felt for you was really special and now i have to let go of everything as much as i hate giving up but i have to this time because i can't keep torturing myself like that, I stayed up all night crying i woke up in the morning crying i barely even touch food i didn't even go out and meet my friend all i did was getting drunk every nights so i can fall asleep,i keep doing things that i don't enjoy doing like active on the social media adding story publicly so you could see you know me better than anyone i aint the type to do that i ususally really private about my life it's getting tiring..this getting too long i'm gonna make it short..Take care T, you're a good person thanks you for the time we spent together, the calls the texts the late night conversations. i hope that you're happy with the way your life is right now i wish only the best for you ..Goodbye.
2025-08-14

Am I falling in love with him ?

I've first known him when we were studying French in the same class, we're also studying at the same university and we haven't contacted or talked to each other. One day while the teacher called him and he didn't reply , that's the reason that I chatted to him by Telegram to inform him that " Madame call u xd , why didn't u reply ? ". After that , we were in touch with each other ask and chatted to each other, I also ask for his FB account. Moreover, I also chatted with him by Messenger and talked to each other for several topics but not so frequency or everytime. I've known that he's a quiet person because of his character and his FB account and I really knew that kind of this person! We always share something to each other and ask about each other's daily life. In addition, we absolutely would like to share some informations of scholarships, subjects or exercises. I think I was so surprised because we want to take the same major and have the same plan ! But I haven't known myself that when I chatted with him , I am so warmly heart and feel so good even if he chatted to me not the long text ! At first I didn't know about this feeling because I've just known him as classmate and schoolmate and we haven't met each other before by this pandemic situation ( school was closed since the first day of started day of school ). Finally, I've just realized that I have a mood on him ( crush on him ) but I haven't shown this to him because I think I could lose this friendship ):