Suicidal thoughts

ខ្ញុំមានអាយុ២១ឆ្នាំភេទប្រុសជានិស្សិតរៀន២ជំនាញផ្សេងគ្នា។កំឡុងពេលcovid ខ្ញុំបានទៅរៀននៅស្រុកវិញតាមរយៈonline class អស់រយៈពេល៨ខែមកដល់ពេលនេះ រយៈពេលចុងក្រោយនេះខ្ញុំ ក៏ចាប់ផ្តើមមានបញ្ហាផ្លូវចិត្តចង់សម្លាប់ខ្លួន ដោយសារបញ្ហាគ្រួសារមួយចំនួនធំ។ ខ្ញុំជាកូនពៅ ក្នុងគ្រួសារដែលបងៗគាត់មានការងាររៀងៗខ្លួន ប៉ុន្តែខ្ញុំជានិស្សិតដែលកំពុងសិក្សាត្រូវការប្រាក់ពីការផ្គត់ផ្គង់ពីគ្រួសារ ដែលជាបន្ទុកដ៏ធំមួយ ឲប៉ាម៉ាក់គាត់ខំធ្វើការធ្ងន់ ឡើងយប់ ធ្វើទាំងយប់ទាំងថ្ងៃ សម្រាក់មិនគ្រប់គ្រាន់ មកដល់ពេលពួកគាត់ប្រកបមុខរបរនេះ២១ឆ្នាំ ហើយ។ពួកគាត់ប្រាប់ខ្ញុំថា គាត់ចាស់ហើយ គាត់ហត់ គាត់ឈឺ មានជំងឺប្រចាំកាយទាំងពីរនាក់ គាត់ទ្រាំណាស់ដើម្បីខ្ញុំ។ ១សប្តាហ៏មុនម៉ាក់គាត់ឈឺ គាត់ទៅពេទ្យ គាត់ថា អាញ់ធ្វើទាំងឈឺដើម្បីហែង រៀនសូត្របើ ហែង ប្រលងគ្រូជាប់ ឬការងាររាជការណាជាប់ អាញ់ឈប់ធ្វើហើយ។គោលបំណងក្នុងចិត្តខ្ញុំចង់ធ្វើការងារដែលខ្ញុំកំពុងសិក្សា តួយ៉ាងខ្ញុំឆ្នាំនេះរៀនឆ្នាំទី៤ហើយ ប៉ុន្តែខ្ញុំមិនទាន់មានការងារធ្វើទេ ដោយសារខ្ញុំរៀន២ជំនាញពេញម៉ោង ដូច្នេះខ្ញុំក៏សម្រេចចិត្តមកផ្ទះរៀនonline ផង ជួយការងារផ្ទះនិងជួយលក់នំម៉ាក់ ខ្ញុំធ្វើការខ្ញុំអាណិតពួកគាត់ណាស់ធ្វើទាំងឈឺ ខ្ញុំពិបាកកាយខ្ញុំទ្រាំបាន ប៉ុន្តែពិបាកចិត្តដែល ឃើញពួកគាត់ខំដើម្បីយើង ខ្ញុំបានបន្ទោសខ្លួនឯង បើសិនអត់ខ្ញុំ ប្រហែលពួកគាត់មិនលំបាកទេ។ នៅពេលដែលខ្ញុំនៅផ្ទះខ្ញុំមានអារម្មណ៍ថា មិនមានសុវត្ថិភាពភ័យខ្លាច ស្ត្រេស ម៉ួម៉ៅ អារម្មណ៍ខ្ញុំបានផ្លាស់រហូតមិនទៀង។មកដល់ពេលនេះខ្ញុំចង់ឲសកលវិទ្យាល័យដែលខ្ញុំកំពុងរៀនបើកឡើងវិញ ដើម្បីខ្ញុំបានទៅភ្នំពេញរៀនវិញ ខ្ញុំអាចនឹង មិនមានបញ្ហាសតិអារម្មណ៍មួយនេះ។ ជារួមមក ខ្ញុំនៅតែមានអារម្មណ៍ម្តងម្កាលថាចង់សម្លាប់ខ្លួន ពាក្យនេះកើតឡើងនៅពេលខ្ញុំឃើញពួកគាត់លំបាកដោយសារខ្ញុំ។ នៅពេលដែលខ្ញុំចង់សម្លាប់ខ្លួន ខ្ញុំតែងតែគិតឃើញថា ខ្ញុំមិនទាន់បានសងគុណគាត់ មិនទាន់មានភាពជោគជ័យជូនគាត់ ពាក្យទាំងនេះធ្វើឲខ្ញុំរឹងមាំបាន១កម្រិតទៀត។ មួយរយៈមកនេះខ្ញុំមានបញ្ហាគ្រួសារស្ទើរតែរាល់ថ្ងៃ ដែលធ្វើអោយខ្ញុំប៉ះពាល់ផ្លូវចិត្ត ខ្ញុំរៀនមិនចូល ចិត្តចង់តែទៅធ្វើការយកប្រាក់ជូនគាត់ហើយ អោយគាត់សម្រាក់។ ពួកគាត់រអ៊ូររាល់ថ្ងៃ ថាហត់ ឈឺ ពាក្យនាវាប៉ះពាល់ខ្ញុំណាស់ ដែលអោយគាត់លំបាកដោយសារខ្ញុំ។ ខ្ញុំពិបាកទ្រាំណាស់មិនដឹងទ្រាំដល់៣-៤ខែទៀតដល់សាលាខ្ញុំរៀនចប់អត់ទេ ពេលខ្ញុំរៀនចប់ខ្ញុំនឹងបានធ្វើការ នឹងឈប់ចាយលុយពួកគាត់។ តែពេលនេះជីវិតខ្ញុំអស់សង្ឃឹមណាស់ បញ្ហាផ្លូវចិត្តវាខ្លាំង។ ជាចុងក្រោយសង្ឃឹមថា ខ្ញុំនឹងឈ្នះជំងឺផ្លូវចិត្តមួយនេះបាន ដើម្បីបន្លប់ការនឹកឃើញវាខ្ញុំតែងតែធ្វើការផ្ទះ និងជួយលក់នំពួកគាត់ដែលធ្វើខ្លួនឲរវល់ដើម្បីបំភ្លេចជំងឺមួយនេះ។ Thank u admin for approving

Feeling bottled up?

Recommended Posts

2025-08-14

once a lover, now a stranger

i will always remember the day we started talking. i would never forget the man whom i used to cherish, and treasure. it's been 2 years already since we were officially broken apart, but still, i couldn't get over you. after all this time, i still think about you, and want you back. however, it seems like you are better off without me. i know you haven't found someone new yet, so has me. day by day, i keep waiting for you, hoping someday you're gonna come back and love me again eventhough i know it's impossible. i know i was the one who asked for the breakup because i was so stupid and immature, and reckless. we had been together for so long and i didn't trust you. i was too afraid that you would leave me someday, so i left you first. we're strangers now. i deserve it. p.s my heart will only be for you #chh

2025-08-14

If I offended, I sincerely apologise.

Things have been tough recently, or all these times if I had to say. About 6 six years ago, I'd never imagined us all to be able to share so plenty of memories like we did several years back, and even after everything that has happened, I'd never take them back. It was a pleasure and honor to be able to live within memories we created. Things were great, we were such a family and I knew back then that there was nothing that was gonna break us all. We did almost everything that all young dumb kids did ... my best memories are always the one we did in the class, during our trips to wherever we've been, the party we held as broke teenagers .... we drank till some of us passed out with the feeling of youngsters like us got to taste the alcohol. I can remember the jungle juice we together made. It might sound strange for some other particular groups that we usually bash and tease each other almost everytime we can and it was so fun and unforgettable. That's how our friendship and bond grew tighter. As days went by, after we parted ways due to graduation, many of us separated and distanced. I still missed them a lot back then and I still do now even though they don't I guess. I never knew things were growing in bad sense during our time and I really don't. I don't act innocent now that I might have hurt you with our teasing games. Only years after that I realized how dreadful I am for you all and that you never spoke a word with me, you rather gather a group of you(s) to talk about how you all hated me now and then. We all played that way, you teased me and I teased you, everybody teased everybody. I thought that way was the thing for our group, but I thought alone. Many of you come together to resent me and disown me like a street dog. However, I just want to tell you all that you are all still my friends and I never regretted building this friendship from the ground for all these years even though we are no longer are friends, no longer talk. I just hope you have a good life and good people around you, especially away from people like me that you resent so much. I've always thought I was a pretty good friend and the one who cherished everything in friendship, and sorry that my actions offended you in any way. I apologise, sincerely. Most of all, I just want to say thank you for all those memories that always remind me of my great highschool time and will always live in my memory and heart. I miss you all. P.S Sorry and thank you!

2025-08-14

To the one guy I used to ask “ Have you ever felt me”

Since I broke up with my ex bf in March 2021, I never had any bf until now. Not because I didn’t fall in love with anyone else. It’s because I used to asked s1 abt feeling during I broke up. And the answer is “ death both side”xD. And yeah at the time he’s the only person that I chatted with, told him how’s my feelings, sometime cried while sending my voice to him. Then we haven’t chatted for awhile. Currently, And he just text me and get on with each again.

2025-08-14

To the one guy I used to confess...#s

Since I broke up with my ex bf in March 2021, I never had any bf until now. Not because I didn’t fall in love with anyone else. It’s because I used to asked s1 abt feeling during I broke up. And the answer is “ death both side”xD. And yeah at the time he’s the only person that I chatted with, told him how’s my feelings, sometime cried while sending my voice to him. Then we haven’t chatted for awhile. Currently, And he just text me and get on with each again.

2025-08-14

Always be you

I never regret choosing you so please don’t worry about me leaving you. I hope you know and realize your worth cause you’ll always be my first choice.

2025-08-14

Wishes

The tough days I went through by myself, the darkness nights I cried without anyone knowing, the unexplainable thoughts I unable to solve, the overthinking idiot and the mentally tiring soul, I don’t freaking know how long I can deal with it anymore. I wish I could give myself the loves and comfort the way I always have for others. I wish I could put myself as my first priority AT LEAST FOR ONCE, but the freaking soft me can never do that. I wish I could speak my mind and express how I feel inside but the thought of people will leave me is frightening me. Sometimes all I need is comfort, but how can I expect people to comfort me when I can’t even do it to myself? I wish I could control the emotion I have against myself, but nahhh the stupid me don’t know how to do that. Maybe I’m the problematic one…

2025-08-14

Cheater

Can I expose my ex on this page ? So that I can warn other girls…?

2025-08-14

If you are happy, I’m happy.

One of my male colleagues and I are so close, but the closest thing I mentioned was that I'm the one who's trying to get close to him. I think I like him a lot, but I'm not daring to tell him. I don't want to ruin the relationship between us. It was good enough for me to have him during my stressful times, happy times, busy times, and anytime I needed him. I'm so grateful. Even if in the future you're not mine, I believe you will be a good husband to your future wife like how you're treating me these days. I'm a bit jealous of whoever deserves you, but if you're happy, I'm happy too. Day by day, my day becomes more and more colorful and shines since I have you by my side. You're so good for my mental health. It was so boring when you were complaining about this and that, but it is so empty without those complaints. I want you, the person who is giving me these good feelings, to feel them as well; to feel loved by someone; to feel treated well; and to be my lover, so I don't have to worry about your future wife. Thank you for being there for me during my hard times. I really appreciated every moment I had with you.