crushing

I spend most of my morning thinking about you. My thoughts take me back to the moments when we first met. I remembered how those smiles of yours have captured my heart. I still recall the conversations we had, the laughs we shared, and every other thing that included you in there. Sometimes, I would daydream about you, and I get butterflies. I spend most of my evening wondering if we get to talk. I always wanted to talk to you but was too afraid to approach you. And whenever you texted me, my day just got better. I hope that our paths will cross one day because I want to see you again.

Feeling bottled up?

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2025-08-14

Dont know what the title should be, I just want to get it off my chest

Im not sure where to start this and i don't want ti write a-lot either but I feel like I can’t tell or discuss anything with my best friend anymore … the thing is whenever I told her about something I want to do or what im planning to buy, she’d always do that that thing or buy those thing before me and act like I’ve never told her about it before, and it happens a lot (stupid me just notice those action when I told her i really like this short and planning to buy it (she doesn’t say anything like she wants those too) and next two or three days she bought those without asking whether we should buy it tgt and even do a mirror selfie and send it to me, like i know it’s small thing but it still hurts… even with dudes… (fyi im a shadow), if i told her there is dude I’m interested in, she’d like oh I’ll add him too or let me a game or two with them too and then they talk and become close… like i don't know whether this is normal thing to do so im not sure what to think anymore.

2025-08-14

Never Be Fooled By A Smile

I lost my friend several months ago. she was someone I talked to every day and even asked for advice. and we met when we’re studying in Australia. It still feels unreal every time I see her photos with a smiley face, I still have difficulty believing she’d do it. how can a girl who is always smiling dealing with mental illness and nobody knows about it. There were no warning signs. she is a person I wished I could be more like (not jealousy, I’m just admire her). Happy, creative, smart, perfect family status, beautiful smiles. Always upbeat and looking out for others. She texted me a day earlier before it happened. I should’ve talked to her that day a little more…why didn’t I. The way it happened was shocking. I still wonder if I could have helped her that day. It's almost like it never happened because it just doesn't seem real, it was so unexpected. As I'm typing this its just actually hitting me again that she is really gone. but looking back, yeah, there were some signs because I accidentally saw her searching about medicine but she said it was just research projects. the guilt in my guts is overwhelming. I also noticed that she was extremely exhausted and kinda isolated herself from anyone earlier that month but I was pretty naive on top of that. It really bothers me now, because she was obviously giving some signs but I was too stupid to realize what was going on. I LOVE YOU, S P.S If someone is popping up in your mind while reading this please don’t ignore them and checking on them every chance you get as the last chance you will ever have may have been yesterday. Be there when you can. Even if its just checking up on someone. If you care about someone, let them know. If someone reaches out to you, even a little... be there for them. You never know when they are in their final moment of desperation. Not everyone will have the same signs. Some won’t have any at all. If you suspect something at all... just let them know you care and that if they ever need to talk, that you are there for them. That they are never a burden, not to you. Even if they never open up to you, just hearing that can make a world of difference. And if you are struggling yourself, please open up to someone. Anyone. Even if its someone you don't know that well. There is nothing wrong if you’re going to met therapist.
2025-08-14

What do you mean bruh?

You already had a girlfriend, why would the h*ll are you giving me the mixed signals dude ?

2025-08-14

Being ghosted

I used to be mad. I used to look back and wonder where I went wrong, and took all the blame. I wondered why would you ghost me like I never mattered. One day our friendship was flourishing–filled with laughter and late-night text messages and venting–the next, it was gone. I used to wished that our long/ funny conversation will come back. It hurts to know that we used to be so close, and now it’s like I don’t know you at all. I feel as though you don’t want me anymore. What do we all talk about, do we talk about past things to catch up on, or do we just act like no time has passed?. We’re not as close as we were before. There are days when I am so happy and that the person I want to talk to you is you. I want to tell you every detail, the entire story, and I want you to listen. There are other days where that high isn’t there when I feel low, and I just want you there to listen or to talk about anything else. Those days are when I miss you the most.There are some secrets that I could never tell another person, but I can easily tell you. Some days I wonder if we will ever be that kind of friends again. Sure, I look back and still smile on the times that we have had, the moments we had shared, the jokes, the laughter that filled our friendship. I have no idea how you feel about our friendship right now. But I am here, in case you make that step back. I am also here, wishing nothing but the best for you: laughter, that all your dreams come true, and all the happiness in the world. I’d like to let you know that our friendship meant everything to me. Thank you for the good memories that you leave behind. I hope wherever you are, you’re happy with yourself. I hope you have found peace with your problems–the people who had hurt you in the past. I hope you finally find something you love and let it consume you. I hope you find a guy who truly treats you the way you deserve.
2025-08-14

Please stop crushing on me.

There is a guy who is crushing me. We met each other years ago and we never talk and get closed but I know he crushes on me by his actions to me virtually. Actually, I am very anti-social and quiet and it gets very weird and intimidating if I get into relationship with someone. I have been thinking about that guy frequently, and I want to stop thinking about him and I want him to stop crushing on me lol. I don't think I deserve someone though, maybe I don't really like myself. I have never been in relationship before and I want to be forever alone and single in this life. So if that guy confess to me directly one day, should I immediately reject him? I want to friend zone him at first and then keep him as as an older brother. I don't want to hurt him by rejecting him, but it is better to be honest with yourself first. He really deserves someone better than me. Hope that he forgets me completely as time passes.
2025-08-14

Toxic

I’m clingy, moody, insecure, have trust issues, self doubt, and lots of mental breakdown, which people categorize me as “toxic”. I’m trying to change. I really do, because I’m not feeling fine and happy with all those toxic traits too. I stay up every night questioning my own worth and existing. I don’t know why am I like this. And I thought, you would stay. I thought, you were different. I thought, you would wait for me to heal. Eventually, it was all my thought. Don’t take this wrong. I’m not blaming you. I was just hoping you stayed. I hope it was you who would have been there for me, but you have never been there with me on my bad days, not even once. I’m too much to be handled. I always know.[newLine*]Let’s be honest with me one last time, what is your feeling for me the last few months we talked? Did your feeling fade away? Was it not strong? From the start? Or from when I started to show you my true self? My dark side? [newLine*] I miss you, a lot. However, I know being with me is too tiring for people, I love you so much that I don’t want you to suffer with someone like me. I hope you’re with someone better, healthier, happier. Someone who loves life, someone who will match your energy, someone who is normal.
2025-08-14

Regret

I lost my virgin at the age 21 years old. Do u think it is so fast? And How do all of u guys think of me? ភ្លើតភ្លើន? សប្បាយភ្លេចខ្លួន? ខុសប្រពៃណី?I lost it to my bf and he never think about future with me. Emmmm! Now I feel like I dont want anyone anymore beside building myself to be strong and I am sorry for my family that I am not a good daughter! Really sorry.
2025-08-14

ខ្ញុំ​ច្រណែន​ម្នាក់​ស្រី​ហ្នឹង​

I’m hurt. She still got your heart despite you are dating me. 🙂 You never deny or say anything to make me feel secure about it, but instead you laugh and say that is my karma. I cry whenever I think of it. stalk u. I stalk her. Knowing you immediately like her page after she post story I realize you still pay attention to her. Even behind her back, you don’t even dare to talk bad about her in front of me. ខ្ញុំ​អត់​ស្មើ​គេ​សោះ​ តើ​មែន​ទេ​?