So tired

This feeling....... Sometimes I always try my best to make everyone happy but when I'm down, I couldn't find anyone. I'm not always happy as you see my smile on my face, but I always remind myself to calm down and deal with the problems one by one. But when the problems come together, I don't know what the solutions to those problems are. I start to feel stressed out and blame myself. I also start to feel useless. Sitting alone and crying in a silent place are the best solutions that can release my stress. And, I know that if I share all those difficulties in my mind with others, I will feel more relived. However, I could not find anyone to listen to my story, and feel me and support me. And, Sometimes when I tell those problems to others or s.o, they just feel that I'm being so dramatic, but actually, I just want someone to listen to my problem and that's enough for me.

Feeling bottled up?

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2025-08-14

To the girl I once rejected

Nothing was wrong with you, I swear. The one who was problematic is me, myself. As soon as I sensed that you have developed feeling for me, I tried to warn you not to fall for me several time. At that time, I was suffered from my ex-crush who got in a relationship with another man. (I loved my crush so much back then). To be honest, I didn't want you to get caught up in my pain. The one who should suffer from that burden is nobody but myself. I even told you my story (you are the only one I ever told my story) and told you not to fall for me. I knew even if I got in that relationship I won't commit completely and even if I asked you to wait, it would way too unfair for you. However, I know you are someone who love hard and you shouldn't waste time with me and you deserve something better. Back then, I took a harsh decision, I blocked you out of blue so that you would hate me and forget me (and yes, it worked). I knew that you would suffer from that, but I guess it is better to suffer in short terms rather than living in pain everyday right? It is completely ok to hate me, to blame me, it is reasonable and logical. After that incident, I avoid making friend with girl as much as possible, I don't want to commit the same mistake again and again. Recently, I did sneak check on you and I found out you are in a new relationship and you both seems so happy. That is the outcome I expected. Seeing you in your current state, I knew I took the right decision after all. You are someone who should live a happy life because it is all you deserve. Nobody should experience the same pain as I did. I will remember that I was once loved. I don't hold any grudge against you. I do respect and appreciate you from the bottom of my heart. I wish you all the best.

2025-08-14

Can we be more than friend?

I have this friend and well, one day we're friend and another day he's being so sweet and all. He tells me about the other girls he met or girls that he's into. Being a good friend, I'm always there listening and giving him advices so that other girls will like him. When little did he knows that it hurts me like hell because I have feelings for him. We have almost nothing in common as far as I know but we are cool with each other. Or maybe we are only cool with being friends but why does he keeps taking care of me and making me flatter with butterflys in my stomach. I want to tell him how i feels but if things dont go well I also dont want to lose him as a friend. We chat abit before this and he's so supportive and nice and tell me to tell him if something is going on but I just cant bring myself to say anything. Staying up late and overthinking this things is killing me and I feel like I'm about to explode.

2025-08-14

To the one I can’t have

Hey, it’s been many years since I’m trying to move on. I know my feeling isn’t mutual and that’s fine. But there’s always moment when I always picture us in my head. Loving you is a guilty feeling and yet I still want you to be mine. It’s hurt when I know you love someone else. It’s hurt when I’m trying to move on while at the same time I want to experience us together however I can’t have you because you are someone I would feel guilt to have….. but I love you , love you till the point where I don’t want anyone else but you , till the point where seeing you happy also make me happy. I love you na , and I don’t know when I could move one but I’m pretty much sure that it would take years but it’s okay loving you is beautiful even though it hurts me.

2025-08-14

Temporary Unknown Status

Hey, you are the one who decided to break up and also you are the one who ignored and closed the communication even said we can’t continue anymore. As time goes by, I’m trying to heal myself and move on, you showed up acting like all the above things didn’t happen. When I ask why would you come back, you said there must be a reason but you don’t know it too. So I’m wondering what am I to you really? A toy?

2025-08-14

I'm lonely

I'm not a model, but I'm educated. I'm witty. I like to travel. I'm interesting. I do great things on my own, but I'm still lonely. My friends think I don't try, but I do. I ask guys out but they don't follow up. I had a good dating life...in that I dated amazing guys, but lately I haven't had relationship in almost two year. I miss it, a lot. Now and again, I have those dark thoughts of 'what's wrong with me?'. Well, there's nothing wrong with me. I'm great. But I am also alone. I feel like people in my life look to me as a source of strength, because in most facets of my life I am very independent. I feel like a fraud. I feel like I need to admit to myself that I am very lonely.

2025-08-14

Stop pretending

Faking your care toward someone is the cruelest thing you can do.

2025-08-14

The peace I hadn’t found

ហេតុអីប៉ានិងម៉ាក់គិតថារឿងរបស់ពួកគាត់នឹងមិនប៉ះពាល់ដល់កូនៗ នៅពេលកូនត្រូវគេងយំដោយសាររឿងរ៉ាវទាំងអស់នោះ ដោយរាល់ជម្លោះសម្លាប់ទឹកចិត្តរបស់កូនដែលចង់រស់នៅស្ងាត់ស្ងៀម ទោះគ្មានក្តីសុខពិតប្រាកដក៏មិនចាំបាច់ឮការស្រែកទៅវិញទៅមក…កូននៅកណ្តាលពិបាកសម្រេចចិត្តណាស់ កូនពិតជាអត់ដឹងគ្រប់ជ្រុងនៃរឿងនីមួយៗទេ…កូននៅខាងណា សូមកុំបន្ទោសកូន.. កូនមានអារម្មណ៍ថាហត់ណាស់ រងសម្ពាធណាស់ ចង់នៅស្ងប់ស្ងៀម។ ប៉ាម៉ាក់ និងគ្រប់គ្នាប្រាប់កូនកុំអោយគិត តែនៅជាមួយគ្នាក្រោមដំបូលផ្ទះតែមួយ ជួបប្រទះឮផ្ទាល់ខ្លាំងៗ អោយកូនធ្វើមិនឃើញ មិនឮយ៉ាងដូចម្តេច…But I’m always grateful and thankful for everything. Tried to not think about it for days, weeks and years. Yet I’ve come to stressed myself to the point I lose interest in things I find interesting and enthusiastic for years. The longing for peace, and happiness continues but diminishes in chances too.

2025-08-14

I can't carry yours, I've got my own

តើខ្ញុំត្រូវធ្វើអោយអ្នកសប្បាយចិត្តមែនទេ ទាំងដែលវាមិនមែនជាកាតព្វកិច្ចរបស់ខ្ញុំ ?ហេតុអីខ្ញុំត្រូវជួយរំលែកទុក្ខអ្នកទាំងដែលខ្ញុំក៏មានទុក្ខដែរ? អ្នកបែរជាខឹងនៅពេលដែលខ្ញុំបដិសេធ ដោយលើកហេតុផលថាជាមិត្តនឹងគ្នា ហេតុអីមិនជួយរំលែកទុក្ខគ្នា? វាជាជម្រើសរបស់ខ្ញុំ ខ្ញុំជ្រើសរើសយកការបដិសេធ ព្រោះខ្ញុំក៏ចង់ការពារសុខភាពផ្លូវចិត្តខ្ញុំដែរ ខ្ញុំមិនចង់ដឹងរឿងអ្នកដទៃ ខ្ញុំគ្រាន់តែមិនចង់ដឹង ខ្ញុំហត់ ខ្ញុំធុញ ខ្ញុំក៏មានបញ្ហាខ្ញុំដែលត្រូវដោះស្រាយដែរ។ ស្តាប់ទៅដូចជាអាត្មានិយមពេក តែខ្ញុំចិត្តល្អច្រើនពេកហើយ ច្រើនរហូតដល់គេមិនចេះក្រែងចិត្ត ដល់ពេលខ្ញុំបដិសេធ ខ្ញុំក៏ក្លាយជាមនុស្សអាត្មានិយមភ្លាម។